“Where do these authors get this stuff? That book says my husband can beat me, and I have to take it.”
I stared at the woman, and if you told me my jaw hung, I would have believed it. I’d just finished the book in question, and hadn’t read that anywhere in there. In fact, as far as I was concerned, you’d be hard-pressed to stretch it to that.
Similar stories followed the release of another book—and another. The complaints always took a similar vein. Sometimes you could stretch what was in a book to support the complaint, but often I wondered if we’d read the same words.
Eventually, I quit reading books on marriage because either:
- The books really did teach unbiblical stuff, and I couldn’t discern it
or
- I saw them teaching unbiblical stuff, and I wasn’t going to read that!
I missed those books, though—the encouragement, the reminder that I’d made vows to this man of mine, and those vows had meaning. In fact, I once had a rotation of five or six books that I read and reread to keep my mind fixed on being the wife I’d vowed to be.
Time passed—like ten years or more.
Then last year at a writers’ conference, I learned about a new book that intrigued me. When a publisher asked my opinion of it, I said that what I’d seen looked solid. Then I promptly forgot about it. What can I say? I’m a busy gal.
The year passed.
This June I sat at a table at Hope International, ready to help the next author who walked through the door. She came in with a bright smile, a notebook, and ready to learn. That alone is an exciting thing. So often I see people who have decided what they want you to tell them and then are annoyed when you don’t say what they want to hear.
She laid out what she’d done, what she’d planned to do, and asked where to start to find the people who were looking for her book. In a word, she needed help with marketing.
We worked out a plan.
And afterward, I mentioned it to my publisher friend. That’s when I found out that the book I’d been excited about last year was the one I’d just spent an hour discussing. Excited can’t even begin to describe how I felt.
See, here’s the deal. So often people say they’re writing a book or they wrote one and want to get it published. They talk a lot—even take little steps toward those goals.
But it never goes anywhere.
Not this gal. She made a plan, worked the plan, finished the plan, and was now ready for a new one.
The invitation to receive a free ARC of the book arrived in my inbox, and I jumped at it. Read the thing in one chunk, devouring it.
Friday night, I drove three hours south to attend the book launch.
If you follow me on Facebook or Instagram, you know what book I’m talking about— Crown: 30 Wife-Changing Lessons. I shared some of Nancy’s cheesy commercials on my Facebook page over the past few weeks #becausehilarious! Next up: a bit from that launch and my opinion on Crown.
The foyer of the church teemed with people in line for food, to buy a book, or to get their book signed when I finally made it through the door—right on time. Seriously, it was supposed to start at 6:30, and I walked through that door at 6:30 sharp. Not too shabby for a girl not used to Orange County traffic and who had injured herself just a couple of hours earlier.
The line stretched out in front of the book tables—seemingly endless. I stood back and, call me ridiculous, but I felt like this proud mom watching her child nail her first ballet performance or something. Nancy seemed indefatigable. She smiled, took pictures, signed—the works.
All in a room decorated in gorgeous blues, golds, and with bright, exquisite floral arrangements everywhere. It sounds silly to say, but I couldn’t help but think, “How appropriate that this looks like a wedding reception.”
At seven o’clock, we all filed into the fellowship hall for a short time of worship, an introduction to her and her family, and the story behind how this book came to be. Those who know me are going to crack up, but I actually had to wipe away a couple of tears that tried to form.
I don’t even do tears!
After a reading of a couple of passages from the book, Nancy treated us to a full showing of all of those cheesy commercials, ending with a final one made just that day. I still can’t stop giggling at it.
Note: links are affiliate links and provide me with a small commission at no extra expense to you. Additionally, while I was provided with a review copy, I purchased both my own Kindle copy and ten paperbacks, so this review wasn’t influenced by anything but my opinion.
Is Crown the Perfect Jewel That Wives Need?
In a word? No. That would be Jesus.
However, Crown is a beautiful example of what happens when someone goes to Jesus’ Word and uses His words to encourage others. With careful attention to speaking truth, in love, and with care to avoid misunderstandings, Nancy Kaser tackles the Biblical view of marriage and shows readers how to apply those principles to everyday life.
The book is divided into six chapters with five lessons per chapter. Or, as the title puts it, in “30 wife-changing lessons.” I just love that subtitle. Those chapters cover one themed topic—themes like yield, help, smile, gift… and within those, the deeper lessons. From sacrificial servanthood to simple things like smiling (that aren’t always so simple to do, right?), she addresses the life of a wife.
Because of that setup, someone could dig deep into the book in six weeks, spending each weekday in one lesson. It would be time-consuming to do a thorough job, but not excessively so. Or, if you prefer, it could easily be done in a little over six months. One lesson could be tackled each week of the month.
There are so many amazing things to say about Crown.
With careful attention to Scriptural accuracy and a compassionate devotion to the topic, Crown is written with an intelligent but approachable voice. The book lapses into conversational style when Kaser tells one of her stories to illustrate a point. Want to know what Daniel Boone has to do with her marriage? Read the book.
Look, she’s even an overachiever! Where many wives joke about hiding purchases from their husbands, Kaser admits to hiding the money for a purchase from her husband! She hadn’t even spent it yet!
I hope that answers the question of whether the book is written from a lofty tower of self-righteousness. It is not. Kaser offers a realistic and approachable look at Biblical marriage from the viewpoint of one who has made the mistakes as well as learned from and grown through them.
That said, she doesn’t pull punches.
One of my favorite quotes from Crown had to do with gloating in someone else’s failures… or maybe it was modesty? I can’t remember the context, but she wrote,
You are having your ego stroked by someone else’s sin, and you need to repent.”
Seriously? BRILLIANT. How often do authors risk that kind of forthright, candid response to sin these days?
Another thing I loved was how she made a point of reminding us that she was writing to wives. Yes, husbands have admonitions, too, but our responsibility before the Lord does not change based on how obedient our husbands are. As firm as she stands on a Biblical perspective of marriage, Kaser doesn’t advocate for a dangerous, slavish devotion to the ideal without acknowledging that we live in a sin-filled world and sometimes that means there are exceptions that God has allowed for. Still, she writes primarily to the “rule” rather than the “exception.”
Who is it best for?
I suspect the worst five words you could say to an editor is, “My book is for everyone.”
Well, Nancy Kaser doesn’t make that claim, but I do. So much of Crown applies to Christians in general. We are called the “Bride of Christ,” after all. Even men could learn a thing or two about yielding, smiling, order, and helping, right? Young, unmarried women could get a realistic view of what it means to be married and maybe, just maybe, get a good idea of what kind of man they want to marry in the first place. Young men? Yeah, them, too.
What about Crown do you need to know?
Title: Crown
Synopsis: Whether you’re in the honeymoon stage or celebrating your fiftieth anniversary, you have never before been in this season of your marriage. Your family dynamics, finances, health, emotional state, location, ministry, employment status—all the factors of your life—are in a perpetual state of transition.
As a married woman, you are continually wife-changing. The Scriptures never change, but they can always be freshly applied to every season of marriage.
Crown is a resource that combines solid Bible teaching, humorous and humbling tales from the author’s own marriage journey, and dozens of compelling stories from real women just like you.
Based on Proverbs 12:4, “An excellent wife is the crown of her husband,”
Crown includes concrete Scriptural truths and real-life examples that will equip you to be the excellent wife God created you to be. Complex issues such as biblical roles within marriage, physical intimacy, communication, forgiveness, and home management are all addressed with candid honesty, encouragement, and biblical substance.
In thirty wife-changing lessons, you will be instructed, challenged, and motivated to walk in obedience to God’s beautiful design for marriage.
For how Crown blessed me and our marriage, check out this “after application” review HERE.
Congrats to the winners! I confess I’m a “free book” reader, so I’ll keep an eye open for this one, if it ever makes it to that standing. Thank you Chautona for a great review!
Thank you, Chautona, even after 51 yrs of marriage there are a lot of things I could change to make me a better wife. Looking forward to reading and learning from this book.
Ephesians 5:32 is my favorite!
My favorite, not just for my marriage:
1 Peter 4:8
Above all, keep fervent in your love for one another, because love covers a multitude of sins.
11 For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. 12 Then you will call on me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. 13 You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart.
This is my life verse and my marriage verse because I can trust God.
The verse I immediately thought of isn’t actually about marriage, but I think it applies. I included it in a note to my husband after he graduated from Seminary, and we were about to find out where in the U.S. he would be called to serve. It felt especially fitting for us in that situation. Ruth 1:16b “Where you go I will go, and where you stay I will stay. Your people will be my people and your God my God.”
Crown sounds incredible. My favorite verse about marriage is Hebrews 13:4.
Proverbs 31: 10–31 the words of King Lemuel (my father’s name was Lemuel!)
Wonderful write up and I agree..such a good book
Husbands, love your wife as Christ loved the church
Therefore, what God has joined together, let no one separate. Matthew 10:9
“But as for me and my family we will serve the Lord.” Joshua 24:15 Living Bible. It speaks to me of a husband and wife united in Christ.
The one scripture that comes to mind is Ecclesiastes 4:12. It is not about marriage but the importance of having Christ in the center of a relationship. That is my take on it anyway. A strand of three is not easily broken.
There are so many, but one I continue to stand on is this….
2 Corinthians 12:9 New International Version
But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me.
I am weak in so many areas, but especially as a wife and mother. It’s such a blessing to know that His grace is greater than my or my husband’s weakness, especially on those days when it feels so overwhelming.
This may sound strange because this is the passage most of us struggle with and that is often abused. But there are two beautiful phrases here.
“Whose daughters you are if you do good and are not afraid with any terror.”
“Heirs together of the grace of life.”
For in this manner, in former times, the holy women who trusted in God also adorned themselves, being submissive to their own husbands, as Sarah obeyed Abraham, calling him Lord, whose daughters you are if you do good and are not afraid with any terror. Husbands, likewise, dwell with them with understanding, giving honor to the wife, as to the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life, that your prayers may not be hindered.
I Peter 3:5?-?7 NKJV
One of my faves!
This verse may not seem like a verse on marriage, but in a way it is. It talks about our future, and if I was a single looking and waiting for a husband this verse would give me hope and assurance that God has the right future for me.
Jeremiah 29:11 “For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.”
Even though I’ve been married 45 years, I’m sure I could still use some pointers. Thanks for this opportunity.
Hmmm…my favorite verse on marriage. Well, my favorite verse, or one of them, is ‘Trust in the LORD with all your heart, lean NOT on your own understanding. In ALL your ways acknowledge HIM and HE will direct your paths.’ Since I’m super quick to try to lean on my own understanding, and not God’s, especially when it comes to my marriage, this verse is appropriate day by day, hour by hour, okay, second by second in the midst of our marriage.
Ephesians 5:31 – For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh.
I am my beloved’s and he is mine, Song of Solomon 6:3
“Encourage one another and build each other up …” (1 Thessalonians 5:11) is one of my favorite verses for dealing with any type of relationship. How much moreso for a marriage, the reflection of Christ and His church?
This isn’t technically a verse about marriage, but it has long been one of my verses relating to my marriage specifically (I found it during our engagement, if I remember right). Psalm 48:14 “For this God is our God for ever and ever: he will be our guide even unto death.”
It is good for them to stay unmarried, as I do. LOL from I Corinthians 7. Seriously though, Prov 31: 10-11
10]A wife of noble character who can find?
She is worth far more than rubies.
11 Her husband has full confidence in her
and lacks nothing of value.
May I be that wife of noble character that my hubby has full confidence in.
Hebrews 13:4 Give honor to marriage, and remain faithful to one another in marriage.
There are many great verses on marriage I could list but the one I have recently been focused on is Ephesians 5:21.
Ecc. 4:9-12
This book sounds good. I quit reading marriage books too. So skeptical about what I will find in them! But I trust your recommendations so if I don’t win this one ? I will most likely purchase.
I’m so honored that you would trust me that much. I’ll make you a deal. If you hate it, let me know. I’ll reimburse you.
I don’t usually read a lot of these kind of books for the same reasons you don’t. But, I really would like to try this one. I love Proverbs 31. Verse 11 says, The heart of her husband doth safely trust in her, and he shall have no need of spoil. Verse 12- She will do him good and not evil all the days of her life.. I fail so miserably at being the wife God wants me to be. But I keep striving, and my Lord keeps forgiving all my failures. There have been many in these 42 years. But I sure am glad I got to travel this road with the Godly man the Lord gave me. Thanks for the opportunity for the book. I love reading all your writing. I believe you are the real deal and the Lord is of utmost importance in your life.
BEAUTIFUL. YES!
Sounds fantastic! I’m thinking of Philippians 4:8 whatever is true, right, noble… Thinj on thdsr things. So don’t focus on the negative stuff. Focusing on the good things makes a world of difference!
AMEN!
I’m going to go with I Corinthians 13. Gracie and I are memorizing it for school, but it’s more for me than for her, as a reminder of how I should strive to show charity to my husband and others.
Hmmm… I’m not sure I’ve ever been asked for a favorite verse on marriage! I’m going to have to think on that one… But I’ve recently been challenged to re-prioritize teaching kids to love God FIRST, which has sparked another look at 1 John (esp. chapter 4) and 1 Cor 13 (love suffers long AND is kind – no comma means these two go together – love is kind EVEN WHILE suffering… long. ) Very applicable to marriage as well as child-raising.
Eph 5:21-33, but especially 25. “Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her….” such a beautiful image that portrays true love’s willingness to sacrifice.
Isn’t it? And man, doesn’t it make you want to be the best wife ever when you think about all our husbands are called to?
Peter 4:8 Above all, keep loving one another earnestly, since love covers a multitude of sins.
It’s important to overlook your spouse’s unique habits. If you don’t you will crazy yourself (and him) crazy. Each one of us has something that can irritate another if you let it.
Amen! LOVE that verse.
Sounds like a fantastic book!
My favorite scripture on marriage is 1 Corinthians 7:28 “But if you marry, you have not sinned; and if a virgin marries, she has not sinned. Yet such will have trouble in this life, and I am trying to spare you.” Lol
This book sounds wonderful. I appreciate grounded, Biblical advice on any topic.
A marriage verse I like is really just an interpersonal relationship verse, but – since marriage is definitely an interpersonal relationship – it applies:
Ephesians 4:32 “Be kind, one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another even as God for Christ’s sake has forgiven you.”
This isn’t really a verse “on” marriage, but it’s a good one _for_ marriage: “Love one another with brotherly affection. Outdo one another in showing honor.”
??Romans? ?12:10? ?ESV??
I consider that a beautiful vers on marriage. When we’re focused on serving, we imitate Jesus.
Ephesians 5:23 …the husband is head of the wife, as Christ is head of the church.
This is our protection and it took me awhile to come to the proper understanding of these verses. But praise God that Christ leads and protects and that husbands are called by God to do the same in their marriages and homes.
I think you’ll like this book!
This may not sound much like a marriage verse, but we’ve had some rough years: “I will restore to you the years that the swarming locust has eaten…” Joel 2:25a
What a beautiful picture of what God does in so many marriages.
Favorite verse changes….right now I’m thinking on the one “Better is a dry morsel and quietness with it Than a house full of feasting with strife.” Prob. 17:1
YES!!!
Psalm 37:4 delight in the LORD & He will give you heart’s desires.
While not marriage, it reminds both of us to delight in God first, to find our identity & contentment in Him.
Then, we aren’t expecting the other to fulfill our desires.
YES!!! The deep premise behind Bentley!
I’m old enough to remember when the theory on marriage- remember what I did prior to retirement my friend- started (and ended IMHO) with meeting hubby at the door wrapped in Saran Wrap © …I am NOT kidding.
However, this does sound interesting enough for me to search for it in the library. Thanx for the review
EEEP! With our open-door policy, I’d be afraid one of our spare kids would walk in and say, “Mrs. Havig!!!!!”
I remember when my mom and her friends read that book! Someone told a story about their own embarrassing Saran Wrap moment (I think it had to do with the boss coming to dinner!) I found it hysterical but was too young to realize it was not necessarily a story a young girl should repeat in mixed company. My mother (who spelled the word sex) was probably as embarrassed as if she was the one caughtin the Saran Wrap!
I would love to read a solid marriage book. I love the verse Genesis 2:24, “That is why a man leaves his father and mother and is united to his wife, and they becomebone flesh.” So much is said about marriage in just one verse.
SO TRUE!