• Skip to primary navigation
  • Skip to main content
  • Skip to primary sidebar
  • Skip to footer
  • Home
  • Bio
  • Bookshelf
    • Audio
    • Complete List of Chautona’s Books
    • The Rockland Chronicles
      • The Vintage Wren
      • The Aggie Series
      • The Hartfield Mysteries
      • Sight Unseen Series
        • Sight Unseen Series Archives
      • The Agency Files
      • Christmas Fiction
    • Legacy of the Vines
    • Meddlin’ Madeline
      • Madeline Blog Archive
    • Ballads from the Hearth
      • Ballads from the Hearth Blog Archive
    • Legends of the Vengeance
    • Journey of Dreams
    • Wynnewood
    • Webster’s Bakery
    • The Not-So-Fairy Tales
    • Heart of Warwickshire
  • Start HERE
    • Characters
    • Suggested Reading Order
    • Free Books
  • Blog
  • Contact
  • Podcast
    • Advertising
    • Podcast Guest Information
    • Podcast Interview FAQ
  • Nav Social Menu

    • Email
    • Facebook
    • Instagram
    • Pinterest
    • Twitter
    • YouTube
  • Bonus
  • Speaking
  • New & Coming
Chautona Havig

Chautona Havig

Using story to connect YOU to the Master Storyteller

The Best Thing about Motherhood Is Learning from My Kids

by Chautona Havig · 2 Comments

The Facebook post looked like one many of us have seen. A picture of toys and shoes strewn across the floor followed by the caption of a harried mother.

The poster? My oldest daughter.

She’s a wise girl. She’s also rather raw and “real” in the best sense usually. She’s human. She got that from her mother.

Here’s what she wrote (used with permission from SodbusterLiving):

A bit of reality here for you. Toys not put away, shoes not put away, books left out, and the list goes on. Moments like this really make me want to shout and just get rid of all.

But that is reaction, not discipline. The key is not to remove the problem but work on the cause. So instead of getting rid of it, right now I am focusing more on teaching the habit of tidiness.

We have all heard the rule.

“When you get something out, put it away when you are done.”

Guess what, I’m horrible at this too! Often I take out one thing to work on, rush to complete something that I need to do, and then try to get back to the original task that has been left out, only to find that my attention is needed elsewhere. But the children do not see the process, they only see what is before them: mommy’s mess.

So I have been trying to diligently demonstrate or illustrate what I want my children to do. The hardest thing is to learn to give grace and accept grace. This isn’t going to change overnight, and it will probably take a few years.

Consistency always, and yet is the hardest thing to accomplish.

Start now, mothers. Learn from my mistakes. Don’t focus on the outward as much as focusing on the one simple habit of good stewardship.

That’s some solid thinking right there.

I love it. And while I read that, I realized something about myself. See, people often remember that I said I’d never wanted to be married or have children. They often leave off the part where I also say how GLAD I was wrong about that. I’m thrilled to be both.

But what I neglect to tell them is why—what it is that makes me glad I was wrong about the whole motherhood thing. What I like about it that I never expected to. Well, this story just illustrates it.

The Best Thing about Motherhood Is Learning from My Kids

The Best Thing about Motherhood Is Learning from My Kids

I’ve learned a lot from my kids from the day they were born. From the truth that diapers can and should sometimes be labeled toxic and the use of hazmat suits should be employed to the fact that sleep is often underrated.

Especially by toddlers.

So, without further ado, I thought I’d share what I’ve learned from my kids (now that most are adults).

From #1Daughter, I learn wisdom with money, graciousness under pressure, and a never-ending stream of practical wisdom like that above. She’s wise beyond her years. And always has been.

#2Daughter teaches me the beauty of chasing dreams, even when it means doing a complete 180 from what you thought you wanted. She was going to be an English professor. She now teaches special education, and if you saw the absolute joy that radiates when she speaks of her students, you’d know why it’s the best choice for her—ever.

From #3Daughter, I learn to step outside myself and stretch myself—that it’s okay if you change your mind often about things because it means your mind is growing and considering. Because it means you’re trying new things and being adventuresome.

#4Daughter teaches me consistency and being comfortable with who I am because it’s what it is.

It’s okay, and if someone isn’t okay with it (who I am), that’s okay, too. She holds fast to her convictions but is willing (after some wailing and gnashing of teeth) to be corrected, too. And I kind of like the teeth gnashing bit. It keeps her human. I relate to human.

From #1Son, I learn how to deal with idiots in a way that doesn’t make them feel like idiots. I learn to find humor in the little things and that it’s okay if I’m the only one who notices. And from him, I learn that hard work and determination can get you anything—even when it seems impossible to everyone else around you.

#5Daughter teaches me to learn to do and try new things at my own pace and not to be bullied into someone else’s expectations. She throws others’ opinions to the wind and plows through on her own path and proves them all wrong. Daily.

From #6Daughter, I learn that it’s okay just to live and enjoy life on my own terms without apology. I learn how to brush aside the unjust expectations and unkind words of those who want for me what I don’t want for myself… not yet.

#2Son teaches me the beauty of loyalty, kindness, humor, and acceptance.

I learn joy in the adventure. And that I really don’t want to jump off giant boulders or climb deep into old mines for “fun.”

From #7Daughter, I learn the beauty of kindness that includes the unwanted and learns that those unwanted souls aren’t just people Jesus loves, but interesting people you might want to get to know. And I learn that kindness doesn’t mean one has to allow oneself to be squashed by another, either. Kindness with boundaries… because is it kind to allow someone to sin against you?

Guess what? This relates to one of my books, too.

ready or notShocker, right? No, really. One of my characters learns a boatload of lessons from her kids before most people even have kids.

Aggie, of course.

While I learned a lot from Aggie and her little circle of Titus 2 women, Aggie learned a lot from her kids. She learned that sometimes you roll with punches and other times you fight back. Loyalty, curiosity… the list goes on. And as the author, the cool thing for me was that I got to learn from her as she learned from the kids.

Win/Win.

Grace under pressure—she’ll get there Someday. While she may not exude that beautiful character quality, one does characterize her well—total reliance on the Lord.

I’m still learning that one from her, too.

Share
Pin
Tweet
Email
Share
Pin
Tweet
Email

Related

Filed Under: General Information, Personal

Previous Post: « Why Would Grief Make You Dance with Jesus?
Next Post: So, Did I Find a Great New Series? »

Reader Interactions

Leave a Reply Cancel reply

You have to agree to the comment policy.

Or, you can subscribe without commenting.

Leave a Reply Cancel reply

You have to agree to the comment policy.

Comments

  1. Anonymous says

    August 31, 2018 at 5:21 pm

    I loved what you shared about your kids and how you learn from them.
    I love the Aggie series! I love all of your books. I’ve bought most of them.

    Reply
    • Chautona Havig says

      August 31, 2018 at 6:57 pm

      Thank you! I hope one or two of the upcoming Freebies will be ones you haven’t read!

      Reply

Primary Sidebar

The Because Fiction Podcast

The Because Fiction Podcast
The Because Fiction Podcast

Taking the pulse of Christian fiction

Episode 164: A Chat with Christian Fantasy Author, Ernest Yip
byChautona Havig

When I talked to Ernest Yip last month, I was crazy excited to learn about his fantasy novel, The Shattered King, an allegory about the attributes of God. Ernest talks about his inspiration, how he got started, and what’s coming next for us. I loved hearing more about the story and my copy is on its way to me now. EEEP! Listen in to learn more.

Note: links are affiliate links that provide me with a small commission at no extra expense to you.

Experience the Attributes of God in a Whole New Way

In the tradition of Pilgrim’s Progress or the parables of Jesus, Ernest Yip brings us a story that introduces to a King like no other through the various attributes our main character meets through out the book. I love a good allegory, and listening to Ernest talk about his book had me choming at the bit to get started.

Though written for teens, The Shattered King is sure to appeal to anyone who loves fantasy and adventure. I especially love how it is a great introduction to who God is without being a heavy or preachy tome of apologetics. Instead, we’re taken on an adventure to discover it all for ourselves.

I can’t wait to see what Yip does next!

The Shattered King by Ernest Yip

Finding his way home means finding something else first—someone else.

When a dark force shatters the benevolent and mighty king Eloa, the land of Astrea lies broken and dying. Though Eloa lives, he is a shadow of his true self, unable to restore his kingdom unless he is reunited with the living Fragments of his being and made whole again.

Catapulted into this unfamiliar world and gifted with a magical sword, teenager Jax faces the ultimate test—finding the lost Fragments of Eloa. Only by fulfilling this quest will he be able to return home. But there are new forces in power, forces that will do whatever it takes to thwart Jax’s efforts and defeat Eloa.

But Jax will soon find that Eloa is no ordinary king, and neither are his Fragments—

A creator of living stone beings A father of orphans in a storm-filled land A desert warrior of limitless power

And they aren’t the only ones out there…

Encounter the Fragments of The Shattered King, a tale of danger and discovery that explores timeless truths about the world we live in, where justice and mercy are sometimes the most powerful weapons.

You can find out more about Ernest from his WEBSITE.

Like to listen on the go? You can find Because Fiction Podcast at:

  • Apple 
  • Castbox 
  • Google Play
  • Libsyn 
  • RSS
  • Spotify
  • Stitcher
  • Amazon
  • and more!
Episode 164: A Chat with Christian Fantasy Author, Ernest Yip
Episode 164: A Chat with Christian Fantasy Author, Ernest Yip
August 16, 2022
Chautona Havig
Episode 163: A Chat with Naomi Craig about Ezekiel's Song
August 12, 2022
Chautona Havig
Episode 162: A Chat with Author, Nancy Naigle
August 9, 2022
Chautona Havig
Episode 161: A Chat with Christian Women's Fiction Robin W. Pearson
July 26, 2022
Chautona Havig
Episode 160: A Chat with Liz Johnson about The Last Way Home
July 22, 2022
Chautona Havig
Episode 159: A Chat with Biblical Fiction Author, Mesu Andrews
July 19, 2022
Chautona Havig
A Chat with Historical Christian Fiction Author, Stephanie Landsem
July 12, 2022
Chautona Havig
Episode 157: A Chat with Historical Christian Fiction Author, Lynn Austin
July 8, 2022
Chautona Havig
Episode 156: The Fragrance of Violets by Susan K. Beatty
July 5, 2022
Chautona Havig
Episode 155: Chatting with Heather Day Gilbert & Jen Cudmore
July 1, 2022
Chautona Havig
Search Results placeholder

Join a Reading Challenge

2022 Write Reading Challenge

Love Audio Books?

audio book ad

Check out the Sparrow Island novels. A tiny island with a lot of heart

independence islands series

Featured Books

Finding a Memory

Finding a Memory
Buy This Book Online
Purchase with Paypal
Buy from Amazon Kindle
Buy from Amazon
Finding a Memory
Buy now!

Penelope’s Pursuit

Penelope’s Pursuit
Buy This Book Online
Buy from Amazon Kindle
Buy from Amazon
Purchase with Paypal
Penelope’s Pursuit
Buy now!

The Last Gasp

The Last Gasp
Buy This Book Online
Purchase with Paypal
Buy from Audible.com
Buy from Amazon
Buy from Amazon Kindle
The Last Gasp
Buy now!

Upcoming Posts

Sorry - nothing planned yet!

Or just subscribe to the newsletter

Recent Blog Posts

  • Experience the Attributes of God in a Whole New Way
  • Book Club Capers: July Part One
  • Has Ezekiel Always Confused You? How about a Little Fictional Clarity?

I buy my stickers here! (affiliate)

Custom Stickers, Die Cut Stickers, Bumper Stickers - Sticker Mule

Footer

What Am I Working On?

Book, Chapter & Vows
Book, Chapter, & Vows
Phase:Week 3
100%
Get Book Updates

Featured

Finding a Memory

Finding a Memory
Buy This Book Online
Purchase with Paypal
Buy from Amazon Kindle
Buy from Amazon
Finding a Memory
Buy now!

Dial W for Wrangler

Dial W for Wrangler

Disclosure:

Disclosure: Links on this website may or may not be affiliate links and as such, I may receive compensation from the retailer indicated for linking to their product. As an Amazon Associate, I earn from qualifying purchases.

Note: I DO NOT link to products that I do not recommend.

Privacy & Cookies. This website uses cookies (not the delicious kinds that make life grand) to do stuff it needs to do. By staying on the site, you agree to this evil substitution of yummy cookies for internet calorie-free substitutes. For more info, click here and read the boring stuff. Cookie Policy
Oh, what a beautiful moon. Oh, what a beautiful moon.
Look what arrived on Sunday. Eeep! @naomicraigaut Look what arrived on Sunday.  Eeep!
@naomicraigauthor 
#christfic 
#bibfic 
#BIBLICALFICTION
Reposted from @celebratelit ONE MORE DAY to get th Reposted from @celebratelit ONE MORE DAY to get this preorder deal for Ezekiel's Song by Naomi Craig, Author! ⁠
⁠
30% off plus free shipping for the paperback copy or $2.99 for the ebook, bonus gift with either!⁠
⁠
#ezekielssong #naomicraigauthor #celebratelit #biblicalfiction #christianfiction #biblestory #rahab #bookstagram #bookloversofinstagram #readersofinstagram #christian #fiction #books #christianbooks #christianbookstagram #faith #christianhistoricalfiction #historicalfiction
Reposted from @joanne.markey Picture says it all. Reposted from @joanne.markey Picture says it all. Link in bio.

#contemporarychristianromcom #christianfiction
@chantelreadsallday has a new readathon for the mo @chantelreadsallday has a new readathon for the month of September--You've Got Mail!!!
So excited for this. But I'm curious... can I count writing a book that takes place in a bookstore for that prompt???
#amreading 
#YouveGotMailReadathon
Reposted from @tabithabouldin Reposted from @Sarah Reposted from @tabithabouldin Reposted from @Sarah Monzon The entire Carrington Family series is on sale for only 99¢! (Free with #kindleunlimited ) 

Split-time romances with high stakes and even higher rewards! 

#splittime #romance #booksale #kindlecountdown #bookstagram #christianfiction #readmorebooks #read #books #ebooksale #boxset
If only owning a bookstore didn't mean dealing wit If only owning a bookstore didn't mean dealing with people.
Harper Brevig has two skills—picking out snarky bookish t-shirts and alienating customers. 
Oh, and racking up bills out of thin air. Make that three skills. She loves the elderly and the very 
young—except the ones who destroy her beloved books. You could say she doesn’t have a very nice 
“book-side manner.” 
Milton Coleridge and his parrotlet Atticus (not Finch) come to the rescue… but is it too late to 
save this bookstore?
Twice Sold Tales: the first full-length novel in the Bookstrings Series releases on November 2, 
2022. Link to more information is in my bio! 
#amwriting
#amreading
#bookishbooks
#bookstrings
#comingsoon
#ChristianFiction
  • Home
  • Bookshelf
  • New & Coming
  • Blog
  • News!
  • Disclosure & Policies
  • Privacy Policy

Copyright © 2022 · Chautona Havig · All Rights Reserved · Coding by Gretchen Louise

Don't go before you grab your FREE short story collection!