Anne Shirley once said, “I am so glad that I live in a world where there are Octobers.”
Well, I happen to agree with her. Here in America, though, October isn’t just a month full of harvests and pumpkins, crisp autumn nights and vibrant trees. October is that month. You know the one…
The search begins long before the month arrives, but it’s almost as if once September gives way to October, the ghoolish frenzy begins.
Must. Find. Perfect. Costume.
Alice in Wonderland? Minion? Joseph (complete with a colorful coat)? Whether it’s the latest book craze, movie blockbuster, or a classic like pirates or teddy bears, once the search begins, you hear it everywhere.
Our family is boring. We’ve never “done” Halloween in the traditional sense. It’s just not our thing. But… October is very similar for me. It’s a month of searching—a month of decisions.
A glorious month of dreaming of all the things.
All the bookish things.
See, at any given time, I have about fifty books clamoring to get face time with me.
And November first begins the frenzy. The NaNoWriMo frenzy. Fifty-thousand words in thirty days. That’s 1,667 words per day. For those who may not know, I rarely write less than 2,500 words in a day. It’s usually closer to 4,000. Things do affect it, however.
Like six weeks in Missouri in the middle of three due book projects. Not that I’ve ever had that happen or anything.
Still, I’ve been doing NaNoWriMo since 2006 when I wrote Discovering Hope. It was called Hope 101 back then, and I wrote it with an eye to making it as sappy as I possibly could. I’m still trying to scrape the sugar out of my veins.
Okay, that’s a lie. However, I have participated in NaNoWriMo every year since. And won! If you’d like to see the books that made it over the years, you can check that out HERE.
And over the past few years, I’ve started my own “Halloween Traditions.”
It usually begins around four o’clock. The kids leave the house to go up to the harvest festival and help out with all the booths and things. Hubby usually goes, too. Me? I stay home, get the house cleaned up, answer the door, and prepare for NaNoWriMo.
And I write this NaNo parody blog post.
Yep. This post is part of a tradition I almost can’t call “new” anymore! It’s my annual NaNo parody.
It all started with this post where I parodied If You Give a Mouse a Cookie. That gave me an idea. So, when October 31st came around that year, I wrote my first NaNo parody…
The following year, I got another idea. That led to:
The Best Formula for Destroying Poetry in 3 Easy Steps and How Is My Dad Spinning in His Grave but Not Dead?
And here we are with another year. That means…
Another NaNo parody.
No, I didn’t sing it this year. I thought I’d save your ears. You’re welcome.
I did, however, take another family favorite children’s book (it’s also a song, I hear) and parodied it. If you’ve never seen the amazing We’re Going on a Bear Hunt book by Michael Rosen and Helen Oxenbury, you’re in for a treat. Grab a copy while you can. All the good books keep going out of print. I bet this one’s next.
This year’s Halloween has been… odd.
I didn’t clean anything, but I did make my mother’s hospital bed. Thanks to my dear friend, Sandy (who has been allowing me to crash at her house while Mom is in the hospital), I have Chinese food. I didn’t hand out candy to any kids, but I saw Sandy do it, and that’s almost the same thing.
Does it count if I bought some of it? If I thought that little girl’s costume was super cute? Flynne would say it’s “uber totes adorbs.”
Kevin isn’t at the harvest festival, either.
This year, #7daughter is down in San Diego with friends instead of helping out at the church and such. It’s just an odd year, and in honor of that, this is one really odd (read, super-pathetic) NaNo parody. But it’s mine, it’s done, and you won’t offend me if you tell me how horrible it is. I know it. Still, I didn’t want to break another tradition, so… without further caveats and procrastination, I give you…
Note: some links are affiliate links that provide me with a small commission at no extra expense to you.
All the Preparation in the World Won’t Write It for You
The NaNoWriMo Book Hunt
(a “goin’ on a bear hunt” parody)
I’m goin’ on a NaNo book hunt.
I’m gonna write a good one.
What a beautiful idea!
I’m prepared!
Uh, oh!
Ideas
Heaping gobs of ideas!
We really need them.
We can’t write without them.
Oh, no!
We’ve got to choose just one!
Creaky, groan. Creaky, groan. Creaky Groan.
I’m goin’ on a NaNo book hunt.
I’m gonna write a good one.
What a beautiful idea!
I’m prepared!
Uh, oh!
Titles
All the creative titles!
Can’t write without one.
Gotta find a good one.
Oh, no!
Which one?
Scritch! Scratch! (the head) Scritch! Scratch! (the head)
I’m goin’ on a NaNo book hunt.
I’m gonna write a good one.
What a beautiful idea!
I’m prepared!
Uh, oh!
Characters.
Fun, quirky characters.
We don’t have any and
We can’t do without them.
Oh, no!
We’ve got to create them!
Jane, Mark, Susie, Tom
I’m goin’ on a NaNo book hunt.
I’m gonna write a good one.
What a beautiful idea!
I’m prepared!
Uh, oh!
The hook!
The reader grabbing hook!
Can’t let them get away.
Gotta keep them here to stay.
Oh, no!
They’re closing the book!
Intrigue them! Stun them! Reel ‘em in!
I’m goin’ on a NaNo book hunt.
I’m gonna write a good one.
What a beautiful idea!
I’m prepared!
Uh, oh!
A plot twist.
An unexpected, unplanned twist!
You can’t ignore it.
You can’t cut it short!
Oh, no!
You’ve gotta write all of it!
Clickety-key-clack. Clickety-key-clack.
I’m goin’ on a NaNo book hunt.
I’m gonna write a good one.
What a beautiful idea!
I’m prepared!
Uh, oh…
Tension and conflict.
You leave it out and
You can’t sit and pout.
Oh, no!
You gotta write it all out.
Grumble. Squeal. Grumble. Squeal.
I’m goin’ on a NaNo book hunt.
I’m gonna write a good one.
What a beautiful idea!
I’m prepared!
Uh, oh.
A hole.
A great, heaping plot hole!
We can’t ignore it.
We can’t go around it.
Oh, no!
We’ve got to go through it!
Delete. Delete. Delete.
WHAT’s THAT?
1,667 words!
30 days!
It’s a NaNoWriMo!
Quick!
Back over the plot hole.
Delete. Delete. Delete.
Back over tension and conflict!
Grumble. Squeal. Grumble. Squeal.
Back over the plot twist.
Clickety-key-clack. Clickety-key-clack.
Back over the opening hook.
Intrigue them! Stun them! Reel ‘em in!
Back over the characters!
Jane, Mark, Susie, Tom.
Back over the titles.
Scritch! Scratch! (the head) Scritch! Scratch! (the head).
Back over the ideas.
Creaky, groan. Creaky, groan. Creaky Groan.
Rush to the desk.
Boot up the laptop.
Open the Scrivener program.
Make a new project.
Oh, no! I forgot to save the last one!
Back to the bottom tray.
Click on the old one.
Control + Save.
Close out.
Stare at the blank page.
I’m never going on a NaNo Book Hunt again!
(or at least not until next year’s NaNo parody).
What am I writing this year?
Here’s this year’s project.
Dual Power of Convenience
Dual Power of Convenience... all they wanted was a happily never after.
Richard Danforth--a brand, spankin' new (barely but it counts) billionaire and his new property manager, Lyla Santana. It was a match made on paper—never have to see each other again.
“It’ll be perfect,” they said.
“I have other plans for you,” God said (forgive the poetic license here, please… He really didn’t…).
Dual Power of Convenience… all they wanted was a happily never after.
Elissa says
I laughed at your parody and I’m not just saying that! I wouldn’t take the time to post a lie. 🙂 Praying for your odd family in this odd time. God is faithful!
Andrea Stoeckel says
Good luck and G-d Bless
Emma says
It might be odd and pathetic, but I could feel the smile on my face getting larger and larger as I read your parody, and I ended up laughing. Maybe it’s just that I’m odd and pathetic, so it suits me. Anyway, your poem, or story, or whatever, is funny! And I’m looking forward to reading what you write. I can’t see what it is, because I can’t sign in to NaNoWriMo.
Susan (DE) says
Same here. Couldn’t sign in, so couldn’t see what you’re doing. 🙂
Chautona Havig says
I’ve added the project so it shows here.
Susan (DE) says
Thank you! That sounds like fun. 🙂