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Chautona Havig

Chautona Havig

Using story to connect YOU to the Master Storyteller

All the Preparation in the World Won’t Write It for You

by Chautona Havig · 6 Comments

This year's NaNo parody is here! I'm so excited about what I'm working on. Psst... I'm also finishing Seaside. Don't tell, okay? via @chautonahavig

Anne Shirley once said, “I am so glad that I live in a world where there are Octobers.”

Well, I happen to agree with her. Here in America, though, October isn’t just a month full of harvests and pumpkins, crisp autumn nights and vibrant trees.  October is that month.  You know the one…

The search begins long before the month arrives, but it’s almost as if once September gives way to October, the ghoolish frenzy begins.

Must. Find. Perfect. Costume.

Alice in Wonderland?  Minion? Joseph (complete with a colorful coat)? Whether it’s the latest book craze, movie blockbuster, or a classic like pirates or teddy bears, once the search begins, you hear it everywhere.

Our family is boring. We’ve never “done” Halloween in the traditional sense. It’s just not our thing.  But… October is very similar for me.  It’s a month of searching—a month of decisions.

A glorious month of dreaming of all the things.

All the bookish things.

See, at any given time, I have about fifty books clamoring to get face time with me.

Discovering hopeAnd November first begins the frenzy.  The NaNoWriMo frenzy. Fifty-thousand words in thirty days. That’s 1,667 words per day.  For those who may not know, I rarely write less than 2,500 words in a day. It’s usually closer to 4,000.  Things do affect it, however.

Like six weeks in Missouri in the middle of three due book projects. Not that I’ve ever had that happen or anything.

Still, I’ve been doing NaNoWriMo since 2006 when I wrote Discovering Hope.  It was called Hope 101 back then, and I wrote it with an eye to making it as sappy as I possibly could. I’m still trying to scrape the sugar out of my veins.

Okay, that’s a lie.  However, I have participated in NaNoWriMo every year since.  And won!  If you’d like to see the books that made it over the years, you can check that out HERE.

And over the past few years, I’ve started my own “Halloween Traditions.”

It usually begins around four o’clock.  The kids leave the house to go up to the harvest festival and help out with all the booths and things.  Hubby usually goes, too.  Me?  I stay home, get the house cleaned up, answer the door, and prepare for NaNoWriMo.

And I write this NaNo parody blog post.

Yep. This post is part of a tradition I almost can’t call “new” anymore! It’s my annual NaNo parody.

It all started with this post where I parodied If You Give a Mouse a Cookie. That gave me an idea.  So, when October 31st came around that year, I wrote my first NaNo parody…

‘Twas the Night Before NaNo.

The following year, I got another idea. That led to:

NaNo’s Raven is Rapping

The Best Formula for Destroying Poetry in 3 Easy Steps and How Is My Dad Spinning in His Grave but Not Dead?

And here we are with another year.  That means…

Another NaNo parody.

No, I didn’t sing it this year.  I thought I’d save your ears.  You’re welcome.

I did, however, take another family favorite children’s book (it’s also a song, I hear) and parodied it.  If you’ve never seen the amazing We’re Going on a Bear Hunt book by Michael Rosen and Helen Oxenbury, you’re in for a treat.  Grab a copy while you can.  All the good books keep going out of print.  I bet this one’s next.

This year’s Halloween has been… odd. 

I didn’t clean anything, but I did make my mother’s hospital bed. Thanks to my dear friend, Sandy (who has been allowing me to crash at her house while Mom is in the hospital), I have Chinese food.  I didn’t hand out candy to any kids, but I saw Sandy do it, and that’s almost the same thing.

Does it count if I bought some of it?  If I thought that little girl’s costume was super cute?  Flynne would say it’s “uber totes adorbs.”

Kevin isn’t at the harvest festival, either.

This year, #7daughter is down in San Diego with friends instead of helping out at the church and such. It’s just an odd year, and in honor of that, this is one really odd (read, super-pathetic) NaNo parody.  But it’s mine, it’s done, and you won’t offend me if you tell me how horrible it is. I know it.  Still, I didn’t want to break another tradition, so… without further caveats and procrastination, I give you…

All the Preparation in the World Wont Write It for You- 2019 Nano Parody

Note: some links are affiliate links that provide me with a small commission at no extra expense to you.

All the Preparation in the World Won’t Write It for You

The NaNoWriMo Book Hunt
(a “goin’ on a bear hunt” parody)

I’m goin’ on a NaNo book hunt.
I’m gonna write a good one.
What a beautiful idea!
I’m prepared!

Uh, oh!
Ideas
Heaping gobs of ideas!
We really need them.
We can’t write without them.
Oh, no!
We’ve got to choose just one!
Creaky, groan. Creaky, groan. Creaky Groan.

I’m goin’ on a NaNo book hunt.
I’m gonna write a good one.
What a beautiful idea!
I’m prepared!

Uh, oh!
Titles
All the creative titles!
Can’t write without one.
Gotta find a good one.
Oh, no!
Which one?
Scritch! Scratch! (the head) Scritch! Scratch! (the head)

I’m goin’ on a NaNo book hunt.
I’m gonna write a good one.
What a beautiful idea!
I’m prepared!

Uh, oh!
Characters.
Fun, quirky characters.
We don’t have any and
We can’t do without them.
Oh, no!
We’ve got to create them!
Jane, Mark, Susie, Tom

I’m goin’ on a NaNo book hunt.
I’m gonna write a good one.
What a beautiful idea!
I’m prepared!

Uh, oh!
The hook!
The reader grabbing hook!
Can’t let them get away.
Gotta keep them here to stay.
Oh, no!
They’re closing the book!
Intrigue them! Stun them! Reel ‘em in!

I’m goin’ on a NaNo book hunt.
I’m gonna write a good one.
What a beautiful idea!
I’m prepared!

Uh, oh!
A plot twist.
An unexpected, unplanned twist!
You can’t ignore it.
You can’t cut it short!
Oh, no!
You’ve gotta write all of it!
Clickety-key-clack. Clickety-key-clack.

I’m goin’ on a NaNo book hunt.
I’m gonna write a good one.
What a beautiful idea!
I’m prepared!

Uh, oh…
Tension and conflict.
You leave it out and
You can’t sit and pout.
Oh, no!
You gotta write it all out.
Grumble. Squeal. Grumble. Squeal.

I’m goin’ on a NaNo book hunt.
I’m gonna write a good one.
What a beautiful idea!
I’m prepared!

Uh, oh.
A hole.
A great, heaping plot hole!
We can’t ignore it.
We can’t go around it.
Oh, no!
We’ve got to go through it!
Delete. Delete. Delete.

WHAT’s THAT?
1,667 words!
30 days!
It’s a NaNoWriMo!

Quick!

Back over the plot hole.
Delete. Delete. Delete.
Back over tension and conflict!
Grumble. Squeal. Grumble. Squeal.
Back over the plot twist.
Clickety-key-clack. Clickety-key-clack.
Back over the opening hook.
Intrigue them! Stun them! Reel ‘em in!
Back over the characters!
Jane, Mark, Susie, Tom.
Back over the titles.
Scritch! Scratch! (the head) Scritch! Scratch! (the head).
Back over the ideas.
Creaky, groan. Creaky, groan. Creaky Groan.
Rush to the desk.
Boot up the laptop.
Open the Scrivener program.
Make a new project.

Oh, no! I forgot to save the last one!
Back to the bottom tray.
Click on the old one.
Control + Save.
Close out.
Stare at the blank page.

I’m never going on a NaNo Book Hunt again!
(or at least not until next year’s NaNo parody).

What am I writing this year?

Here’s this year’s project.

Dual Power of Convenience

Dual Power of Convenience

Dual Power of Convenience... all they wanted was a happily never after.

Richard Danforth--a brand, spankin' new (barely but it counts) billionaire and his new property manager, Lyla Santana. It was a match made on paper—never have to see each other again.

 

About the Book

“It’ll be perfect,” they said.

“I have other plans for you,” God said (forgive the poetic license here, please… He really didn’t…).

Dual Power of Convenience… all they wanted was a happily never after.

Details
Author: Chautona Havig
Series: Independence Islands: the Book Barrow, Book 2
Genres: Christian Fiction, Romance
Tags: Collection, Romance
Publisher: Havilah Press Publications
Publication Year: 2024
ASIN: B0DRTBFZKF
Other Books in the "Independence Islands: the Book Barrow"
Christmas on Breakers Point
Bookers on the Rocks
Flipping Hearts
Finding a Memory
Book, Chapter, & Vows
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Filed Under: Writing Tagged With: NaNoWriMo

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Comments

  1. Elissa says

    November 3, 2019 at 5:29 pm

    I laughed at your parody and I’m not just saying that! I wouldn’t take the time to post a lie. 🙂 Praying for your odd family in this odd time. God is faithful!

    Reply
  2. Andrea Stoeckel says

    November 1, 2019 at 6:21 am

    Good luck and G-d Bless

    Reply
  3. Emma says

    November 1, 2019 at 2:13 am

    It might be odd and pathetic, but I could feel the smile on my face getting larger and larger as I read your parody, and I ended up laughing. Maybe it’s just that I’m odd and pathetic, so it suits me. Anyway, your poem, or story, or whatever, is funny! And I’m looking forward to reading what you write. I can’t see what it is, because I can’t sign in to NaNoWriMo.

    Reply
    • Susan (DE) says

      November 1, 2019 at 8:57 am

      Same here. Couldn’t sign in, so couldn’t see what you’re doing. 🙂

      Reply
      • Chautona Havig says

        November 3, 2019 at 11:47 am

        I’ve added the project so it shows here.

        Reply
        • Susan (DE) says

          November 3, 2019 at 3:22 pm

          Thank you! That sounds like fun. 🙂

          Reply

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The Because Fiction Podcast

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Taking the pulse of Christian fiction

Episode 448: A Chat with Nancy Naigle
byChautona Havig

 I fell in love with Nancy’s writing with The Shell Collector. Imagine my joy when I discovered she has a SEQUEL! Eeep! Listen in and discover which characters you’ll find in To Light the Way Forward and what’s coming next for one of America’s favorite authors!

note: links may be affiliate links that provide me with a small commission at no extra expense to you.

It’s been three years since Nancy and I had a chance to talk, and in that time, she’s been BUSY.  So in addition to falling in love with her character, Tug, and wanting to give him his own story, she’s written a small-town duet (and maybe we talked her into a third?) as well as a romcom duo!  Think we can talk her into a third of that series as well?  Because… SPOILER ALERT… we’re getting a third Shell Collector Series book, too! EEEP!

To Light the Way Forward by Nancy Naigle

A novel of overcoming deep loss, taking risks, and learning that life—and love—often surprises you when you least expect it, from the USA Today bestselling author of The Shell Collector. “Bringing to life characters you can’t help but fall in love with, Nancy Naigle goes straight to the heart with this story of tragedy turned to triumph. A poignant reminder to never give up hope.”—Sheila Roberts, author of The Best Life Book Club Feeling adrift after the loss of her husband, Rosemary sets out to visit an old friend on Whelk’s Island, undeterred by the threat of a hurricane. Before the storm hits, she finds herself at Tug’s Diner where she quickly connects with the owner, Tug. But the storm destroys the diner, compounding Tug’s grief from losing his love the previous year. The longer Rosemary stays, the more she sees Tug’s deep sadness and resolves to help him. Together with Tug and friends Amanda and Paul, they all pitch in to help the close-knit community recover and rebuild. As Amanda and Paul reconnect after losing touch during the storm, their plans to take things slow seem increasingly impractical. While Rosemary and Tug help the young couple navigate their relationship, they also find themselves building a friendship that begins to restore them both. But can that friendship convince them that love is possible for anyone who’s willing to take a risk—even those who never hoped they’d find it again?

Learn more about Nancy on her WEBSITEand follow her on GoodReads and BookBub.

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Episode 447: A Chat with Cate Touryan
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