• Skip to primary navigation
  • Skip to main content
  • Skip to primary sidebar
  • Home
  • Bio
  • Bookshelf
    • Audio
    • Complete List of Chautona’s Books
    • The Rockland Chronicles
      • The Vintage Wren
      • The Aggie Series
      • The Hartfield Mysteries
      • Sight Unseen Series
        • Sight Unseen Series Archives
      • The Agency Files
      • Christmas Fiction
    • Legacy of the Vines
    • Meddlin’ Madeline
      • Madeline Blog Archive
    • Ballads from the Hearth
      • Ballads from the Hearth Blog Archive
    • Legends of the Vengeance
    • Journey of Dreams
    • Wynnewood
    • Webster’s Bakery
    • The Not-So-Fairy Tales
    • Heart of Warwickshire
  • Start HERE
    • If You Like…
    • Characters
    • Suggested Reading Order
    • Free Books
  • Blog
  • Contact
  • Podcast
    • Advertising
    • Podcast Guest Information
    • Podcast Interview FAQ
  • Merch Shop
  • Nav Social Menu

    • Email
    • Facebook
    • Instagram
    • Pinterest
    • Twitter
    • YouTube
  • Bonus
  • Speaking
  • New & Coming
Chautona Havig

Chautona Havig

Using story to connect YOU to the Master Storyteller

The Tyranny of the Desire to Do All the Things

by Chautona Havig · 8 Comments

Life in the trenches—that’s what I called it, you know. In the trenches. Those days of waking up half an hour early, bleary-eyed, hoping for five minutes in the shower, five minutes alone with the Lord, and twenty minutes to make those two things happen.

Hey, a girl has to be realistic, right?

The Tyranny of the Desire to Do All the Things

Note: links in this post may be affiliate links and I will receive a small commission at no extra expense to you.

Days of little girl giggles, pigtails, and ratty hair. Sweet calico dresses, expensive laundry soap spread across the driveway, and those blissful hours known as nap time.

During those days, I read a quote somewhere that said something like,

Young mothers, you have more time now than you ever will again in life.”

I laughed. I told my Titus 2 mentor about it. SHE laughed. But a few days later, she called me back and said, “I think it’s true. I remember when I had time for crafting and reading a book or whatever. I don’t have time for that stuff now and my kids are graduated from high school!”

I just about cried.

You see, I had this tendency—compulsion, almost—to do many things. I helped in the homeschool group, ran a Bible study at my house, made porcelain dolls, sewed for others’ porcelain dolls, read a dozen books a week… I did a LOT. I can’t remember all I did. And in the middle of it, I always had a nursing baby, a kid potty training, and someone learning how to read.

boy readingI hate teaching kids how to read. Thought you should know.

But I remember one day in particular. It was cold outside, the kids were out for the count in those blissful hours known as naptime—an institution in our home. They were non-negotiable, mandatory things until the kid began kindergarten.

I used to joke that it was how I ensured they made it to kindergarten. Joke. Yeah. Let’s go with that.

Anyway, on that cold afternoon, I remember collapsing on the couch, head in my hands, staring at a spot of something on my wood floors—the ones I’d mopped after everyone went to bed, of course. A pile of laundry to my left. Toys strewn everywhere to my right, a half-finished doll dress draped over my sewing machine, and a book calling to me.

Let’s pretend there weren’t bills I was supposed to pay and completely forgot about, okay? Thanks.

But then it happened, of course. It always does.

I sat on that couch, and thought, “I don’t have enough time to do it all!”

Look, everyone knows that I don’t like to say “God said this or that” to me. But I remember feeling like I heard God whisper,

“You have every minute that you need to do all that I want you to do.”

I suspect all the Scriptures I’d ever read about redeeming the time and doing all for the glory of God just culminated in one thought.

That left me wondering just what I was doing that WASN’T what the Lord wanted for me. I, of course, looked at the doll dresses and doll making, at all that fictional reading, at everything that seemed just about “me” and not about spiritual things or encouraging other Christians. I assumed Bible Study and the homeschool group were absolutes and get-togethers with friends—not so much.

But first, I found myself avoiding Tupperware parties—any direct sales parties. Even the ones I kind of wanted to go to lost interest with the high-pressure sales. I felt guilty at first, but over and over again, the Lord showed me through peoples’ other needs that I could serve and support my sisters in Christ without buying stuff I didn’t need or want at parties I hated going to.

When I tried to cut back on reading, I found myself starving—mentally and emotionally. I am so encouraged by Christian fiction that trying to remove it from my life hurt me. A good Christian novel turns me to the Word. It makes me question, investigate, rediscover the love for this verse or that. It feeds me by being my GPS to the next meal of spiritual food.

After a few years, the homeschool group went by the wayside.

That one shocked me. C’mon, I was a homeschool mom! But I found it added little to my children’s’ enrichment and much to our family’s detriment. Bible Study followed—out the door and to someone else’s house. And while I didn’t keep up with doll making indefinitely, I did always have SOME craft project that kept me going.

Bible StudyWhat? Ditch the Bible study and keep the quilting? Why?

Well, I think it was because I’d go nuts without it. I wanted to do both—felt COMPELLED to do both—to do “all the things” that both appealed to me and my head or heart insisted were important. But I didn’t need to facilitate a Bible Study in my home to study the Bible—even to attend one somewhere else!

And when life got busy and out of hand… when yet another “worthy” thing entered my life, I’d feel drawn to it. But if I was smart (and too often I wasn’t), I’d pause… get quiet before the Lord. And like the mouse and like the cookie book if you get quiet before the Lord, His Word speaks to you.

I don’t have enough time to do that AND everything else I have to do.”

The answer comes softly, quietly.

You have every minute you need to do all that I want you to do.”

Did I argue?

Oh, yeah. I can’t tell you how many times I said, “But Lord! It’s a Bible memory team!” Or, “But Lord, I need to sharpen that skill!” Sometimes it was, “But isn’t that co-op important to the children’s enrichment?” Other times it was, “But how will reorganizing the house, again, bless You?

Of course, I knew the answer. It blesses Him because it would bless His children who live here. All of them. Even me. I count.

In a Pinterest world of trying to do all the things to be “the best mom” or “the best wife” or “the best homemaker” or the best of anything, taking a moment to focus on what things the Lord wants of you is huge. And that you means you… not the single woman at church, not the mom of ten kids, not the preacher’s wife with no kids left at home, not… not anyone else. You.

Aggie quote

What has Jesus given YOU the time to do?

Because the world crowds in on you like a merchant at a Turkish bazaar. Each thing screeches for your attention, thrusts its benefits in your face, tempts you to do more, be more. More, more, more pounds your heart and soul until you spin in circles not knowing which one is most important—not knowing where to start.
Time is a harsh taskmaster—there’s no room for errors. No do-overs.

Stuff is a burden. It weighs you down, holds you captive—even just time-fillers instead of space-fillers.

And that desire to be all, have all, do all—it’ll push, prod, poke until you’re driven half crazy by its demands.
You know how 1 Corinthians 9:22 says:

To the weak I became weak, that I might win the weak; I have become all things to all men, so that I may by all means save some.

Margin- SwensonWell, Richard Swanson warns in his book, Margin, that too often we take this and try to be

“all things to all men, all at once, all the time, all by ourselves.”

We do that with “all the things,” too. We try to do all the things, all at once, all the time, all by ourselves.

And then we burn out—all by ourselves.

It doesn’t have to be that way, you know. Because I really do think we have every minute we need to do what the Lord wants. It may mean that with the work schedule we have to have to feed our families, we only have time for work, sleep, and time to invest in those relationships.

We don’t have time to serve on this committee or do that other project. It may mean that we have LOTS to do because we don’t have a job or children or aging parents who need us.

But no matter where we are, no matter what the Lord has given us to do, we all have the same amount of time—both in hours and to do whatever it is He wants of us. I’m convinced of that.

Share249
Pin
Tweet
Email
257Shares
Share
Pin
Tweet
Email
257Shares

Related

Filed Under: General Information, Personal

Previous Post: « Behind the Scenes by Jen Turano: my thoughts
Next Post: Why I Think We Need a New Princess in the Line Up—One Who Is Always Late »

Reader Interactions

Leave a Reply Cancel reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Or, you can subscribe without commenting.

Leave a Reply Cancel reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Comments

  1. Alexandra says

    June 4, 2017 at 8:29 pm

    Thank you! Your writing – both fiction and non-fiction blesses and encourages me so much. You are mentoring me through your writing. Thank you for being open and sharing your heart.

    Reply
    • Chautona Havig says

      June 4, 2017 at 11:57 pm

      I’m glad it blessed you. I reread it today to remind me of a few things.

      Reply
  2. April says

    May 4, 2017 at 3:29 pm

    I definitely needed this. Thank you!

    Reply
    • Chautona Havig says

      May 4, 2017 at 5:19 pm

      I needed it myself.

      Reply
  3. Emma says

    May 2, 2017 at 12:57 pm

    One of my frequent prayers is along the lines of, “Please show me what I need to do, and what I need to leave go.”

    Reply
    • Chautona Havig says

      May 2, 2017 at 3:21 pm

      YES! I did that often myself

      Reply
  4. Diana Nesbitt? says

    May 1, 2017 at 10:12 am

    Yes, yes, yes. I needed to read this. I have been struggling with this lately, constantly questioning how to do everything I want and need to do and if I’m spending time on the things the Lord wants me to.

    Reply
    • Chautona Havig says

      May 1, 2017 at 8:03 pm

      It was so eye-opening to me to realize that what I assumed would be the Lord’s decision WASN’T! Sometimes He really seemed to push me to do thing that felt incredibly selfish.

      Reply

Primary Sidebar

The Because Fiction Podcast

The Because Fiction Podcast
The Because Fiction Podcast

Taking the pulse of Christian fiction

Episode 265: A Chat with Karen Witemeyer
byChautona Havig

Nothing says fairy tale like a sweet western romance by an author like Karen Witemeyer… unless it’s a fairytale retelling set in Texas in the late 19th century, right?  Fairest of Heart takes the familiar “Snow White” and turns it on its head with retired cowboys, a self-absorbed actress, a Texas Ranger, and a sweet girl who knows the true Source of her beauty.  Listen in to see all the genius Easter eggs Witemeyer planted in this book.

Note: links may be affiliate links that provide me with a small commission at no extra expense to you.

Sometimes All a Girl Needs Is a True Change of Heart

I fell in love with the cover of Karen Witemeyer’s Head Over Heels a few years back (only to learn it’s much older than that, even), and meant to read that book.  I didn’t.  #BecauseIdiot. Well, that’ll be rectified just as soon as I’m done listening to her first book in a trilogy of fairytale retellings. I loaded it up on my Audible app tonight and wheeeeeeee. Here I go! So much for no new books until October. HA! 

Karen talks about her heart for young women today and how they’re taught by every bit of media blasting at them that they need to use their bodies to get what they need or want when the Lord has a better plan. And I can’t guarantee it, but I strongly suspect she does it without preaching. SQUEE!

Fairest of Heart by Karen Witemeyer

Once upon a time in Texas . . .

Beauty has been nothing but a curse to Penelope Snow. When she becomes a personal maid for a famous actress whose troupe is leaving Chicago to tour the West, she hides her figure beneath shapeless dresses and keeps her head down. But she still manages to attract the wrong attention, leaving her prospects in tatters–and her jealous mistress plotting her demise.

After his brother lost his life over a woman, Texas Ranger Titus Kingsley has learned to expect the worst from women and is rarely disappointed. So when a young lady found in suspicious circumstances takes up residence with the seven old drovers living at his grandfather’s ranch, Titus is determined to keep a close eye on her.

With a promotion hanging in the balance, Titus is assigned to investigate a robbery case tied to Penelope’s acting troupe, and all evidence points to Penelope’s guilt. But Titus might just be convinced that the fairest woman of all has a heart as pure as her last name . . . if only he can prove it.

You can learn more about Karen Witemeyer and her books on her WEBSITE. Don’t forget the book is 30% off on BakerBookHouse.com.  

Follow Karen on BookBub and GoodReads.

And don’t forget her Posse Group on Facebook.

Like to listen on the go? You can find Because Fiction Podcast at:

  • Apple 
  • Castbox 
  • Google Play
  • Libsyn 
  • RSS
  • Spotify
  • Amazon
  • and more!
Episode 265: A Chat with Karen Witemeyer
Episode 265: A Chat with Karen Witemeyer
September 29, 2023
Chautona Havig
Episode 264: A Chat with Romance Author, Sarah Monzon
September 26, 2023
Chautona Havig
Episode 263: A Chat about The Love Script w/ Toni Shiloh
September 23, 2023
Chautona Havig
Episode 262: Chatting about The Legacy of Longdale Manor with Carrie Turansky
September 19, 2023
Chautona Havig
Episode 261: Chatting with Christian Youth Fiction Author, Candice Yamnitz
September 15, 2023
Chautona Havig
Episode 260: A Chat with Rachel Hauck
September 12, 2023
Chautona Havig
Episode 259: A Chat with Debut Author, Laura Conaway
September 8, 2023
Chautona Havig
Episode 258: A Louisiana Christmas to Remember
September 2, 2023
Chautona Havig
Episode 257: A Chat with Fantasy Author, N. Ford
September 1, 2023
Chautona Havig
Episode 256: A Chat about Summer in the Spotlight w/ Liz Johnson
August 29, 2023
Chautona Havig
Search Results placeholder

Love Audio Books?

audio book ad

Check out the Sparrow Island novels. A tiny island with a lot of heart

independence islands series

Featured Books

A Ransomed Grete

A Ransomed Grete
Buy This Book Online
Buy from Amazon
Buy from Amazon Kindle
A Ransomed Grete
Buy now!

Twice Sold Tales

Twice Sold Tales
Buy This Book Online
Buy from Amazon
Buy from Amazon Kindle
Twice Sold Tales
Buy now!

Under the Hibiscus

Under the Hibiscus
Buy This Book Online
Buy from Amazon
Buy from Amazon Kindle
Under the Hibiscus
Buy now!

Upcoming Posts

Sorry - nothing planned yet!

Or just subscribe to the newsletter

Recent Blog Posts

  • What Would Make a Tropical Vacation More Exciting? Find Out!
  • Sometimes All a Girl Needs Is a True Change of Heart
  • How Does an Intense Christmas Competition Lead to Love?

I buy my stickers here! (affiliate)

Custom Stickers, Die Cut Stickers, Bumper Stickers - Sticker Mule
Just another hour... Tea is Pumpkin Masala Chai fr Just another hour...
Tea is Pumpkin Masala Chai from Marcella's Enchanted Cottage and blueberry cinnamon roll courtesy of #6daughter
, @andralane0129 
#AmReading 
#AnnetoberReadAThon 
@teri_blake_author 
#womensfiction
Yum... seriously the best beef ever. So glad we go Yum... seriously the best beef ever. So glad we got some,  but so many missed out. 
Thanks @robsogbbq
Instagram post 18282011413151971 Instagram post 18282011413151971
If you haven't read Seek and Hide by @amandagsteve If you haven't read Seek and Hide by @amandagstevens , stop everything and order this book. Then schedule dinner delivery the day it arrives and dive in. Chilling,  inspiring,  and proof that Amanda is a stellar Storyteller.
#AmReading 
#ChristFic
Reposted from @beccawierwille Less than one month Reposted from @beccawierwille Less than one month until release day for Road Trip Rescue! 🚘 🐶 Mark your calendars for Tuesday, October 24 to help me celebrate sending this story into the world. 

Also, prepare for more posts than normal. I’m excited to launch this book. 🥳
I think the moon is embracing autumn, too. I think the moon is embracing autumn,  too.
Reposted from @lisaphillipsbks Woot! Happy release Reposted from @lisaphillipsbks Woot! Happy release day, @lovereadwriterepeat
  • Home
  • Bookshelf
  • New & Coming
  • Blog
  • News!
  • Disclosure & Policies
  • Privacy Policy

Copyright © 2023 · Chautona Havig · All Rights Reserved · Coding by Gretchen Louise

Don't go before you grab your FREE short story collection!