• Skip to primary navigation
  • Skip to main content
  • Skip to primary sidebar
  • Home
  • Bio
  • Bookshelf
    • Audio
    • Complete List of Chautona’s Books
    • The Rockland Chronicles
      • The Vintage Wren
      • The Aggie Series
      • The Hartfield Mysteries
      • Sight Unseen Series
        • Sight Unseen Series Archives
      • The Agency Files
      • Christmas Fiction
    • Legacy of the Vines
    • Meddlin’ Madeline
      • Madeline Blog Archive
    • Ballads from the Hearth
      • Ballads from the Hearth Blog Archive
    • Legends of the Vengeance
    • Journey of Dreams
    • Wynnewood
    • Webster’s Bakery
    • The Not-So-Fairy Tales
    • Heart of Warwickshire
  • Start HERE
    • If You Like…
    • Characters
    • Suggested Reading Order
    • Free Books
  • Blog
  • Contact
  • Podcast
    • Advertising
    • Podcast Guest Information
    • Podcast Interview FAQ
  • Merch Shop
  • Nav Social Menu

    • Email
    • Facebook
    • Instagram
    • Pinterest
    • Twitter
    • YouTube
  • Bonus
  • Speaking
  • New & Coming
Chautona Havig

Chautona Havig

Using story to connect YOU to the Master Storyteller

The Tyranny of the Desire to Do All the Things

by Chautona Havig · 8 Comments

Life in the trenches—that’s what I called it, you know. In the trenches. Those days of waking up half an hour early, bleary-eyed, hoping for five minutes in the shower, five minutes alone with the Lord, and twenty minutes to make those two things happen.

Hey, a girl has to be realistic, right?

The Tyranny of the Desire to Do All the Things

Note: links in this post may be affiliate links and I will receive a small commission at no extra expense to you.

Days of little girl giggles, pigtails, and ratty hair. Sweet calico dresses, expensive laundry soap spread across the driveway, and those blissful hours known as nap time.

During those days, I read a quote somewhere that said something like,

Young mothers, you have more time now than you ever will again in life.”

I laughed. I told my Titus 2 mentor about it. SHE laughed. But a few days later, she called me back and said, “I think it’s true. I remember when I had time for crafting and reading a book or whatever. I don’t have time for that stuff now and my kids are graduated from high school!”

I just about cried.

You see, I had this tendency—compulsion, almost—to do many things. I helped in the homeschool group, ran a Bible study at my house, made porcelain dolls, sewed for others’ porcelain dolls, read a dozen books a week… I did a LOT. I can’t remember all I did. And in the middle of it, I always had a nursing baby, a kid potty training, and someone learning how to read.

boy readingI hate teaching kids how to read. Thought you should know.

But I remember one day in particular. It was cold outside, the kids were out for the count in those blissful hours known as naptime—an institution in our home. They were non-negotiable, mandatory things until the kid began kindergarten.

I used to joke that it was how I ensured they made it to kindergarten. Joke. Yeah. Let’s go with that.

Anyway, on that cold afternoon, I remember collapsing on the couch, head in my hands, staring at a spot of something on my wood floors—the ones I’d mopped after everyone went to bed, of course. A pile of laundry to my left. Toys strewn everywhere to my right, a half-finished doll dress draped over my sewing machine, and a book calling to me.

Let’s pretend there weren’t bills I was supposed to pay and completely forgot about, okay? Thanks.

But then it happened, of course. It always does.

I sat on that couch, and thought, “I don’t have enough time to do it all!”

Look, everyone knows that I don’t like to say “God said this or that” to me. But I remember feeling like I heard God whisper,

“You have every minute that you need to do all that I want you to do.”

I suspect all the Scriptures I’d ever read about redeeming the time and doing all for the glory of God just culminated in one thought.

That left me wondering just what I was doing that WASN’T what the Lord wanted for me. I, of course, looked at the doll dresses and doll making, at all that fictional reading, at everything that seemed just about “me” and not about spiritual things or encouraging other Christians. I assumed Bible Study and the homeschool group were absolutes and get-togethers with friends—not so much.

But first, I found myself avoiding Tupperware parties—any direct sales parties. Even the ones I kind of wanted to go to lost interest with the high-pressure sales. I felt guilty at first, but over and over again, the Lord showed me through peoples’ other needs that I could serve and support my sisters in Christ without buying stuff I didn’t need or want at parties I hated going to.

When I tried to cut back on reading, I found myself starving—mentally and emotionally. I am so encouraged by Christian fiction that trying to remove it from my life hurt me. A good Christian novel turns me to the Word. It makes me question, investigate, rediscover the love for this verse or that. It feeds me by being my GPS to the next meal of spiritual food.

After a few years, the homeschool group went by the wayside.

That one shocked me. C’mon, I was a homeschool mom! But I found it added little to my children’s’ enrichment and much to our family’s detriment. Bible Study followed—out the door and to someone else’s house. And while I didn’t keep up with doll making indefinitely, I did always have SOME craft project that kept me going.

Bible StudyWhat? Ditch the Bible study and keep the quilting? Why?

Well, I think it was because I’d go nuts without it. I wanted to do both—felt COMPELLED to do both—to do “all the things” that both appealed to me and my head or heart insisted were important. But I didn’t need to facilitate a Bible Study in my home to study the Bible—even to attend one somewhere else!

And when life got busy and out of hand… when yet another “worthy” thing entered my life, I’d feel drawn to it. But if I was smart (and too often I wasn’t), I’d pause… get quiet before the Lord. And like the mouse and like the cookie book if you get quiet before the Lord, His Word speaks to you.

I don’t have enough time to do that AND everything else I have to do.”

The answer comes softly, quietly.

You have every minute you need to do all that I want you to do.”

Did I argue?

Oh, yeah. I can’t tell you how many times I said, “But Lord! It’s a Bible memory team!” Or, “But Lord, I need to sharpen that skill!” Sometimes it was, “But isn’t that co-op important to the children’s enrichment?” Other times it was, “But how will reorganizing the house, again, bless You?

Of course, I knew the answer. It blesses Him because it would bless His children who live here. All of them. Even me. I count.

In a Pinterest world of trying to do all the things to be “the best mom” or “the best wife” or “the best homemaker” or the best of anything, taking a moment to focus on what things the Lord wants of you is huge. And that you means you… not the single woman at church, not the mom of ten kids, not the preacher’s wife with no kids left at home, not… not anyone else. You.

Aggie quote

What has Jesus given YOU the time to do?

Because the world crowds in on you like a merchant at a Turkish bazaar. Each thing screeches for your attention, thrusts its benefits in your face, tempts you to do more, be more. More, more, more pounds your heart and soul until you spin in circles not knowing which one is most important—not knowing where to start.
Time is a harsh taskmaster—there’s no room for errors. No do-overs.

Stuff is a burden. It weighs you down, holds you captive—even just time-fillers instead of space-fillers.

And that desire to be all, have all, do all—it’ll push, prod, poke until you’re driven half crazy by its demands.
You know how 1 Corinthians 9:22 says:

To the weak I became weak, that I might win the weak; I have become all things to all men, so that I may by all means save some.

Margin- SwensonWell, Richard Swanson warns in his book, Margin, that too often we take this and try to be

“all things to all men, all at once, all the time, all by ourselves.”

We do that with “all the things,” too. We try to do all the things, all at once, all the time, all by ourselves.

And then we burn out—all by ourselves.

It doesn’t have to be that way, you know. Because I really do think we have every minute we need to do what the Lord wants. It may mean that with the work schedule we have to have to feed our families, we only have time for work, sleep, and time to invest in those relationships.

We don’t have time to serve on this committee or do that other project. It may mean that we have LOTS to do because we don’t have a job or children or aging parents who need us.

But no matter where we are, no matter what the Lord has given us to do, we all have the same amount of time—both in hours and to do whatever it is He wants of us. I’m convinced of that.

Share249
Pin
Tweet
Email
257Shares
Share
Pin
Tweet
Email
257Shares

Related

Filed Under: General Information, Personal

Previous Post: « Behind the Scenes by Jen Turano: my thoughts
Next Post: Why I Think We Need a New Princess in the Line Up—One Who Is Always Late »

Reader Interactions

Leave a Reply Cancel reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Or, you can subscribe without commenting.

Leave a Reply Cancel reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Comments

  1. Alexandra says

    June 4, 2017 at 8:29 pm

    Thank you! Your writing – both fiction and non-fiction blesses and encourages me so much. You are mentoring me through your writing. Thank you for being open and sharing your heart.

    Reply
    • Chautona Havig says

      June 4, 2017 at 11:57 pm

      I’m glad it blessed you. I reread it today to remind me of a few things.

      Reply
  2. April says

    May 4, 2017 at 3:29 pm

    I definitely needed this. Thank you!

    Reply
    • Chautona Havig says

      May 4, 2017 at 5:19 pm

      I needed it myself.

      Reply
  3. Emma says

    May 2, 2017 at 12:57 pm

    One of my frequent prayers is along the lines of, “Please show me what I need to do, and what I need to leave go.”

    Reply
    • Chautona Havig says

      May 2, 2017 at 3:21 pm

      YES! I did that often myself

      Reply
  4. Diana Nesbitt? says

    May 1, 2017 at 10:12 am

    Yes, yes, yes. I needed to read this. I have been struggling with this lately, constantly questioning how to do everything I want and need to do and if I’m spending time on the things the Lord wants me to.

    Reply
    • Chautona Havig says

      May 1, 2017 at 8:03 pm

      It was so eye-opening to me to realize that what I assumed would be the Lord’s decision WASN’T! Sometimes He really seemed to push me to do thing that felt incredibly selfish.

      Reply

Primary Sidebar

The Because Fiction Podcast

The Because Fiction Podcast
The Because Fiction Podcast

Taking the pulse of Christian fiction

Episode 231: A Chat with RomCom author, Shannon Sue Dunlap
byChautona Havig

Shannon Sue Dunlap isn’t new to rom-coms, and her first book in the Sweetheart Series promises to be a literary riot, and it lives up to that promise. I’m only halfway through it and am thinking mean, ugly thoughts of everything keeping me from being able to escape into the crazy small-town politics and quirky characters. So far the com far outweighs the rom, which makes me thrilled to bits. Listen in to discover what makes Lone Star Sweetheart so much fun.

Note: links may be affiliate links that provide me with a small commission at no extra expense to you.

Why Did This Author Write a Rom-Com about a Loveable Shrew?

Well, I think we can safely blame Shakespeare for that. Shannon Sue Dunlap has taken inspiration from Shakespeare’s The Taming of the Shrew in her Katherine, but unlike Katerina, Dunlap’s character is actually trying to learn to tame the tongue. Maybe someone should send her over to the book of James. There’s that whole bit about not being able to tame it, being an “unruly evil, full of deadly poison.”

Kate’s isn’t that bad, but not for lack of trying. Or something.

Shannon Sue Dunlap isn’t joking when she says that her Katherine is a “loveable” shrew. Seriously, I love this character. She’s forthright, no-nonsense, and “what you see is what you get” in her approach to life. I respect that. Add to that her boss who has shaken up the town of Sweetheart, Texas, and you’ve got the makings of a great story. I’m loving Lone Star Sweetheart.

But this isn’t all Dunlap has written.

Under the pseudonym, Shannon Kent, you can find her sweet and clean romances (including one Christian romance) inspired by Korean dramas. If you said I’d be not only chomping to read a sweet and clean romance about Korean tour guides and all that entails but also ready to watch a Korean drama on Netflix… Okay, I might not have laughed in your face, but I’d’ve been laughing on the inside.

Best part… one of them ties into her Sweetheart Series

Lone Star Sweetheart by Shannon Sue Dunlap

Katherine Bruno’s passionate, unfiltered temper makes her the shrew of small-town Sweetheart, Texas. When she’s drafted to help the mayor’s wife run against her own husband, Katherine meets opposing big city political consultant Ryan Park. The good-looking, flirtatious campaign manager gets under her skin, but fraternizing with the enemy is off-limits.

Katherine must battle her lack of experience, campaign sabotage, and her growing feelings for Ryan as she strives to succeed. His unprejudiced acceptance of her strong-willed character beckons her heart, but his jaded rejection of God is an insurmountable barrier. Will Ryan return to his faith and stay with her in Sweetheart or leave when the election ends?

You can find out more about Shannon Sue Dunlap AND get that first novella in the Korean Crush series free on her WEBSITE.

Like to listen on the go? You can find Because Fiction Podcast at:

  • Apple 
  • Castbox 
  • Google Play
  • Libsyn 
  • RSS
  • Spotify
  • Stitcher
  • Amazon
  • and more!

 

Episode 231: A Chat with RomCom author, Shannon Sue Dunlap
Episode 231: A Chat with RomCom author, Shannon Sue Dunlap
May 26, 2023
Chautona Havig
Episode 230: A Chat with Bryan Timothy Mitchell
May 17, 2023
Chautona Havig
Episode 229: A Chat about Murmur in the Mud Caves with Kathleen Denly
May 12, 2023
Chautona Havig
Episode 228: A Chat with Author Emilie Haney
May 9, 2023
Chautona Havig
Episode 227: A Chat about the New Jewels of Kalispell Series
May 5, 2023
Chautona Havig
Episode 226: A Chat with Archaeological Thriller Author, Doug Powell
May 2, 2023
Chautona Havig
Episode 225: A Chat with Dani Pettrey
April 28, 2023
Chautona Havig
Episode 224: A Chat with Author Megan Besing
April 25, 2023
Chautona Havig
Episode 223: A Chat with Tosca Lee about A Long March Home
April 21, 2023
Chautona Havig
Episode 222: A Chat with Regina Rudd Merrick
April 18, 2023
Chautona Havig
Search Results placeholder

Love Audio Books?

audio book ad

Check out the Sparrow Island novels. A tiny island with a lot of heart

independence islands series

Featured Books

A Ransomed Grete

A Ransomed Grete
Buy This Book Online
Buy from Amazon Kindle
A Ransomed Grete
Buy now!

Twice Sold Tales

Twice Sold Tales
Buy This Book Online
Buy from Amazon
Buy from Amazon Kindle
Twice Sold Tales
Buy now!

Under the Hibiscus

Under the Hibiscus
Buy This Book Online
Buy from Amazon
Buy from Amazon Kindle
Under the Hibiscus
Buy now!

Upcoming Posts

Sorry - nothing planned yet!

Or just subscribe to the newsletter

Recent Blog Posts

  • Why Did This Author Write a Rom-Com about a Loveable Shrew?
  • What Made This Author Use Hell as Inspiration for His Novel?
  • Rumor Has It, Murmur in the Mud Caves Promises to Be Excellent!

I buy my stickers here! (affiliate)

Custom Stickers, Die Cut Stickers, Bumper Stickers - Sticker Mule
This book by @chantelreadsallday 's daughter is de This book by @chantelreadsallday 's daughter is delightful. The writing style is both whimsical and mature,  direct and nuanced. Probably the easiest 5-star rating I've ever given ( to be fair,  it's a really short book). Oh! That was another great thing.  The TEEN author also tells a complete story in few words and with subtle (and not-so-subtle) sarcasm. Laughed aloud. 
I'll add a link on my bio link.
#MiddleGradeBooks
#YoungAuthors
#AmReading
Reposted from @lianaygeorge Authors love getting r Reposted from @lianaygeorge Authors love getting reviews! This one particularly warmed my heart because Erin emailed directly and had such lovely things to say.…
Welcome to Red Wing, Minnesota. Home of Hanisch's Welcome to Red Wing, Minnesota. Home of Hanisch's Bakery, Mandy's Cafe, the Uffda Shop, and Pepie the Lake Monster (who knew?)

Oh, and home to Twice Sold Tales, a charming bookstore in a charming town--but not for long.  Unless Milton arrives with his trusty parrotlet, Atticus (not Finch!), this local gem of a store may soon be out of print--so to speak.

Some might blame owner Harper Brevig. Let's face it. Her "bookside manner" isn't much to write home about (although I did write a book about it...). But no, she's making enough money, and she's not spending too much money (much to her disgust), so where's it going?

Find out in Twice Sold Tales while I write and send Atticus and Milton down to Berne, Indiana to help Cezanne with he new and dying bookstore. 

Links to more info in my bio!

#TheMosaicCollection
#Bookstrings
#TwiceSoldTales
#ChristFic
#BookishBooks
My next book in the Suamalie Islands series is on My next book in the Suamalie Islands series is on tour with @celebratelit .

Ezra has started her business, is elbow-deep in wedding prep for her father, and gets roped into helping an old friend fight off the eligible females of Lafoina. 
And frankly, she's tired of it all--except the fighting off females thing. The women can just back off. Henri is hers... not that she'd admit that. Yet.
A combination second-chance romance and fake relationship (but not) surrounded with tropical breezes, sandy beaches, and ocean waves lapping against the side of a floating bookstore--perfect for this summer's TBR!
Just check out the link in my bio for a list of blogs and my panic momentwith how the romance wouldactuallywork!
Available on KindleUnlimited
#SuamalieIslands
#ChristianRomance
#ChristFic
#PreorderSpecial
Guys, this book!!! Loving! Reposted from @shannon Guys, this book!!! Loving!

Reposted from @shannonsuedunlap I had a blast with Chautona on the Because Fiction podcast. (Link to the episode in the bio.)
Reposted from @thechosenkidssaga <title>“The Kin Reposted from @thechosenkidssaga <title>“The King will reply, ‘Truly I tell you, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers and sisters of mine, you did for me.’… | Instagram</title>
Reposted from @shannonsuedunlap Lone Star Sweethea Reposted from @shannonsuedunlap Lone Star Sweetheart has launched! (Link in bio.)
#happybookbirthday #cfauthors #romcom #launchparty
  • Home
  • Bookshelf
  • New & Coming
  • Blog
  • News!
  • Disclosure & Policies
  • Privacy Policy

Copyright © 2023 · Chautona Havig · All Rights Reserved · Coding by Gretchen Louise

Don't go before you grab your FREE short story collection!