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Chautona Havig

Chautona Havig

Using story to connect YOU to the Master Storyteller

The Tyranny of the Desire to Do All the Things

by Chautona Havig · 8 Comments

Life in the trenches—that’s what I called it, you know. In the trenches. Those days of waking up half an hour early, bleary-eyed, hoping for five minutes in the shower, five minutes alone with the Lord, and twenty minutes to make those two things happen.

Hey, a girl has to be realistic, right?

The Tyranny of the Desire to Do All the Things

Note: links in this post may be affiliate links and I will receive a small commission at no extra expense to you.

Days of little girl giggles, pigtails, and ratty hair. Sweet calico dresses, expensive laundry soap spread across the driveway, and those blissful hours known as nap time.

During those days, I read a quote somewhere that said something like,

Young mothers, you have more time now than you ever will again in life.”

I laughed. I told my Titus 2 mentor about it. SHE laughed. But a few days later, she called me back and said, “I think it’s true. I remember when I had time for crafting and reading a book or whatever. I don’t have time for that stuff now and my kids are graduated from high school!”

I just about cried.

You see, I had this tendency—compulsion, almost—to do many things. I helped in the homeschool group, ran a Bible study at my house, made porcelain dolls, sewed for others’ porcelain dolls, read a dozen books a week… I did a LOT. I can’t remember all I did. And in the middle of it, I always had a nursing baby, a kid potty training, and someone learning how to read.

boy readingI hate teaching kids how to read. Thought you should know.

But I remember one day in particular. It was cold outside, the kids were out for the count in those blissful hours known as naptime—an institution in our home. They were non-negotiable, mandatory things until the kid began kindergarten.

I used to joke that it was how I ensured they made it to kindergarten. Joke. Yeah. Let’s go with that.

Anyway, on that cold afternoon, I remember collapsing on the couch, head in my hands, staring at a spot of something on my wood floors—the ones I’d mopped after everyone went to bed, of course. A pile of laundry to my left. Toys strewn everywhere to my right, a half-finished doll dress draped over my sewing machine, and a book calling to me.

Let’s pretend there weren’t bills I was supposed to pay and completely forgot about, okay? Thanks.

But then it happened, of course. It always does.

I sat on that couch, and thought, “I don’t have enough time to do it all!”

Look, everyone knows that I don’t like to say “God said this or that” to me. But I remember feeling like I heard God whisper,

“You have every minute that you need to do all that I want you to do.”

I suspect all the Scriptures I’d ever read about redeeming the time and doing all for the glory of God just culminated in one thought.

That left me wondering just what I was doing that WASN’T what the Lord wanted for me. I, of course, looked at the doll dresses and doll making, at all that fictional reading, at everything that seemed just about “me” and not about spiritual things or encouraging other Christians. I assumed Bible Study and the homeschool group were absolutes and get-togethers with friends—not so much.

But first, I found myself avoiding Tupperware parties—any direct sales parties. Even the ones I kind of wanted to go to lost interest with the high-pressure sales. I felt guilty at first, but over and over again, the Lord showed me through peoples’ other needs that I could serve and support my sisters in Christ without buying stuff I didn’t need or want at parties I hated going to.

When I tried to cut back on reading, I found myself starving—mentally and emotionally. I am so encouraged by Christian fiction that trying to remove it from my life hurt me. A good Christian novel turns me to the Word. It makes me question, investigate, rediscover the love for this verse or that. It feeds me by being my GPS to the next meal of spiritual food.

After a few years, the homeschool group went by the wayside.

That one shocked me. C’mon, I was a homeschool mom! But I found it added little to my children’s’ enrichment and much to our family’s detriment. Bible Study followed—out the door and to someone else’s house. And while I didn’t keep up with doll making indefinitely, I did always have SOME craft project that kept me going.

Bible StudyWhat? Ditch the Bible study and keep the quilting? Why?

Well, I think it was because I’d go nuts without it. I wanted to do both—felt COMPELLED to do both—to do “all the things” that both appealed to me and my head or heart insisted were important. But I didn’t need to facilitate a Bible Study in my home to study the Bible—even to attend one somewhere else!

And when life got busy and out of hand… when yet another “worthy” thing entered my life, I’d feel drawn to it. But if I was smart (and too often I wasn’t), I’d pause… get quiet before the Lord. And like the mouse and like the cookie book if you get quiet before the Lord, His Word speaks to you.

I don’t have enough time to do that AND everything else I have to do.”

The answer comes softly, quietly.

You have every minute you need to do all that I want you to do.”

Did I argue?

Oh, yeah. I can’t tell you how many times I said, “But Lord! It’s a Bible memory team!” Or, “But Lord, I need to sharpen that skill!” Sometimes it was, “But isn’t that co-op important to the children’s enrichment?” Other times it was, “But how will reorganizing the house, again, bless You?

Of course, I knew the answer. It blesses Him because it would bless His children who live here. All of them. Even me. I count.

In a Pinterest world of trying to do all the things to be “the best mom” or “the best wife” or “the best homemaker” or the best of anything, taking a moment to focus on what things the Lord wants of you is huge. And that you means you… not the single woman at church, not the mom of ten kids, not the preacher’s wife with no kids left at home, not… not anyone else. You.

Aggie quote

What has Jesus given YOU the time to do?

Because the world crowds in on you like a merchant at a Turkish bazaar. Each thing screeches for your attention, thrusts its benefits in your face, tempts you to do more, be more. More, more, more pounds your heart and soul until you spin in circles not knowing which one is most important—not knowing where to start.
Time is a harsh taskmaster—there’s no room for errors. No do-overs.

Stuff is a burden. It weighs you down, holds you captive—even just time-fillers instead of space-fillers.

And that desire to be all, have all, do all—it’ll push, prod, poke until you’re driven half crazy by its demands.
You know how 1 Corinthians 9:22 says:

To the weak I became weak, that I might win the weak; I have become all things to all men, so that I may by all means save some.

Margin- SwensonWell, Richard Swanson warns in his book, Margin, that too often we take this and try to be

“all things to all men, all at once, all the time, all by ourselves.”

We do that with “all the things,” too. We try to do all the things, all at once, all the time, all by ourselves.

And then we burn out—all by ourselves.

It doesn’t have to be that way, you know. Because I really do think we have every minute we need to do what the Lord wants. It may mean that with the work schedule we have to have to feed our families, we only have time for work, sleep, and time to invest in those relationships.

We don’t have time to serve on this committee or do that other project. It may mean that we have LOTS to do because we don’t have a job or children or aging parents who need us.

But no matter where we are, no matter what the Lord has given us to do, we all have the same amount of time—both in hours and to do whatever it is He wants of us. I’m convinced of that.

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Comments

  1. Alexandra says

    June 4, 2017 at 8:29 pm

    Thank you! Your writing – both fiction and non-fiction blesses and encourages me so much. You are mentoring me through your writing. Thank you for being open and sharing your heart.

    Reply
    • Chautona Havig says

      June 4, 2017 at 11:57 pm

      I’m glad it blessed you. I reread it today to remind me of a few things.

      Reply
  2. April says

    May 4, 2017 at 3:29 pm

    I definitely needed this. Thank you!

    Reply
    • Chautona Havig says

      May 4, 2017 at 5:19 pm

      I needed it myself.

      Reply
  3. Emma says

    May 2, 2017 at 12:57 pm

    One of my frequent prayers is along the lines of, “Please show me what I need to do, and what I need to leave go.”

    Reply
    • Chautona Havig says

      May 2, 2017 at 3:21 pm

      YES! I did that often myself

      Reply
  4. Diana Nesbitt? says

    May 1, 2017 at 10:12 am

    Yes, yes, yes. I needed to read this. I have been struggling with this lately, constantly questioning how to do everything I want and need to do and if I’m spending time on the things the Lord wants me to.

    Reply
    • Chautona Havig says

      May 1, 2017 at 8:03 pm

      It was so eye-opening to me to realize that what I assumed would be the Lord’s decision WASN’T! Sometimes He really seemed to push me to do thing that felt incredibly selfish.

      Reply

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Episode 145: A Chat with Debut Women's Fiction Author, Sara Brunsvold
byChautona Havig

Debut Author, Sara Brunsvold, is bursting on the Christian Women’s fiction scene with an amazing book, The Extraordinary Deaths of Mrs. Kip. With characters who have captivated my heart from page one (and enough quirkiness to keep my attention to the last), Sara Brunsvold is sure to become a favorite author, and this book is already on my top five of the year before it’s even released!

Note links may be affiliate links that provide me with a small commission at no extra expense to you.

This Novel Isn’t Even Available Yet, and It’s in My Top 5!

If you’d told me that I’d fall so in love with two chapters of a book that it would push that book into my top five of the year so far, well… I’d have laughed.

The joke’s on me because it happened with Sara Brunsvold’s The Extraordinary Deaths of Mrs. Kip. This debut women’s fiction novel has a bit of a split-time element and is set in Kansas City. Trust me when I say that meeting Clara was one of the most fun introductions to a character I’ve ever had. I just love this woman, and I’m drumming my fingers to get to read more about her.  Not surprising considering it won the ACFW Genesis’s award a couple of years back. 😀

Sara says her passion is intergenerational stories, and you definitely get this with Aidyn and her “assignment,” Mrs. Kipp.  But you also get inter-cultural and ideological influences in this book as well.

And then there’s that next book she has coming out.  You know, the one about a gal cooking her way through her grandma’s German cookbook?  Yeah.  The one we have to wait until early 2024 for?  Yeah. That one.  Sigh.

When Sara told us about her favorite authors, a lot of things made sense.  Just sayin’. Find out which of Katherine Reay’s books are her favorites and how she fangirled over Reay’s response to an email (and why you should email your favorite author!).

The Extraordinary Deaths of Mrs. Kip by Sara Brunsvold

Aidyn Kelley is talented, ambitious, and ready for a more serious assignment than the fluff pieces she’s been getting as a cub reporter for the Kansas City Star. In her eagerness, she pushes too hard, earning herself the menial task of writing an obituary for an unremarkable woman who’s just entered hospice care.

But there’s more to Clara Kip than meets the eye. The spirited septuagenarian may be dying, but she’s not quite ready to cash it in yet. Never one to shy away from an assignment herself, she can see that God brought the young reporter into her life for a reason. And if it’s a story Aidyn Kelley wants, that’s just what Mrs. Kip will give her–but she’s going to have to work for it.

Debut author Sara Brunsvold delights with this emotional multigenerational story that shows that the very best life is made up of thousands of little deaths to self. You’ll want to be just like Mrs. Kip when you grow up!

This book is 40% off with free shipping from Baker Book House. That’s less than the Kindle version if you like paper!

You can learn more about Sara at her WEBSITE (and sign up for that newsletter so you can get Mrs.Kip’s 8 Rules to Live By). Oh, and if she does those videos of her cooking through that book, you’ll want to know when/where to find them.

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Episode 145: A Chat with Debut Women's Fiction Author, Sara Brunsvold
Episode 145: A Chat with Debut Women's Fiction Author, Sara Brunsvold
May 20, 2022
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Episode 144: Chatting about Restored Grace with Kathleen J. Robison
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Episode 141: A Chat with Elizabeth Goddard about Critical Alliance
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April 29, 2022
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Episode 139: A Chat with Middle-Grade Author, RM Ruiz
April 26, 2022
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Episode 138: A Gush about a Good (more like GREAT) Read & GoodReads
April 22, 2022
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Episode 137: A Chat with Contemporary Romance Author, Mandi Blake
April 19, 2022
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Episode 136: A Chat with Middle-Grade Historical Author, Marie Sontag
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Reposted from @beckylewis345 Life can be hard. Ent Reposted from @beckylewis345 Life can be hard. Enter cozies like A Sprinkle in Time by Dana Mentink. Clean, with a sweet romance, whose amateur sleuth runs a delectable shake shop. A dog, a child, precocious twins who work for the shake shop, and lovable Papa Luis. Plus, of course, plenty of suspects. “Murder, mayhem, and milkshakes. Who’d a thunk it?”

Trinidad Jones becomes someone I truly care about in this book. I am amazed at how she and Gabe’s two other former wives forgive each other and actually become friends. Not just friends, but family, as thick as blood. Now there is a small cluster of characters to follow and enjoy in this town of Upper Sprocket. Fun!

I enjoy the inclusion of dogs, children, and special-needs people, and Dana Mentink brings them all to our Shimmy and Shake Shop story. Noodles is old, but what a loyal companion, and, wow, does he have an amazing ability or two! Little  Felice adds warmth and vulnerability to the tale. Doug, the special-needs brother of Trinity’s love interest, Quinn, adds reality and complexity to the novel. 

Mentink has a good sense of humor and I laughed out loud several times. Just what I want out of a cozy. Mystery, romance, great characters, laughter. A fun occupation that the sleuth actually works at. I am happy to report I made it through the book without indulging in ice cream! But, can you?

I am looking forward to more murder and mayhem in Upper Sprocket! Plus more Freakshakes! 

———————————————————————
I received a copy of the book from Celebrate Lit. (I also bought my own copy.) No positive review was required, and all opinions are my own.
———————————————————————
Notable Quotables:
“He was merely a friend the way a Ming vase was just an old pot.”

“There’s your plan and God’s plan, and your plan…” “Doesn’t count,”

“Maybe it’s one of those weird small-town happenings.” “A body in your trunk isn’t a happening, it’s a horror movie,”

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“Rumors carry so much more weight than the truth, sometimes.”
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Reposted from @celebratelit Did you know that When Reposted from @celebratelit Did you know that When the Pilot Falls by April Hayman from the Ever After Mystery series is 25% off with the Celebrate Lit Summer Sale? 

More about the book: 
In 1923, there aren’t many pilots, but Willie Labeau didn’t let that stop… her.

A bear of a man, Hugh Taylor, needs a stunt plane pilot, and despite their rocky introduction, Willie sets off for golden California and a new life as his pilot. There’s just one little thing she has to do in addition to flying.

Leave his past alone. Period.

When the flame of her own curiosity becomes fanned by encouragement from Willie’s sister, the feisty pilot can’t help but do just a little investigating.

And Hugh vanishes.

Friends rally around her, and with all the information she can find in hand, Willie sets off to rescue Hugh and battle the evil family holding him hostage.

A fierce air race, a sincere act of humility—are they enough to free Hugh and give Willie a chance to be with him… forever?

Find out in this next book in the Ever After Mysteries, combining beloved fairy tales and mysteries. When the Pilot Falls offers a retelling of “East of the Sun, West of the Moon” that will keep you gripped to the edge of your seat as you watch hearts soar and daring dos.

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Dial W for Wrangler: Vi's just trying to sell used Dial W for Wrangler: Vi's just trying to sell used recliners and old, broken wagon wheels.  She can't help it if folks keep asking for help with their love lives... can she?
See the lengths Wade goes to in his quest to behave like a rational guy.
Releases Tuesday, May 24. Available on 
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How does this author celebrate a finished book? By How does this author celebrate a finished book? By reading someone else's finished book. 😀 
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"Murder, mayhem, and milkshakes. Who'd a thunk "Murder,  mayhem,  and milkshakes.  Who'd a thunk it?"
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