• Skip to primary navigation
  • Skip to main content
  • Skip to primary sidebar
  • Home
  • Bio
  • Bookshelf
    • Audio
    • Complete List of Chautona’s Books
    • The Rockland Chronicles
      • The Vintage Wren
      • The Aggie Series
      • The Hartfield Mysteries
      • Sight Unseen Series
        • Sight Unseen Series Archives
      • The Agency Files
      • Christmas Fiction
    • Legacy of the Vines
    • Meddlin’ Madeline
      • Madeline Blog Archive
    • Ballads from the Hearth
      • Ballads from the Hearth Blog Archive
    • Legends of the Vengeance
    • Journey of Dreams
    • Wynnewood
    • Webster’s Bakery
    • The Not-So-Fairy Tales
    • Heart of Warwickshire
  • Start HERE
    • If You Like…
    • Characters
    • Suggested Reading Order
    • Free Books
  • Blog
  • Contact
  • Podcast
    • Advertising
    • Podcast Guest Information
    • Podcast Interview FAQ
  • Merch Shop
  • Nav Social Menu

    • Email
    • Facebook
    • Instagram
    • Pinterest
    • Twitter
    • YouTube
  • Bonus
  • Speaking
  • New & Coming
Chautona Havig

Chautona Havig

Using story to connect YOU to the Master Storyteller

It’s Time to Stop with the Backhanded Attacks

by Chautona Havig · 8 Comments

I don't know about you, but I'm almost more disgusted with the backhanded attacks I see in how people respond to the ick around us than the ick itself. via @chautonahavig

It’s a normal scene here in our small town. Mothers shopping with their adult daughters, friends shopping together—sometimes sharing the same cart. No one thinks anything of it when you get to the checkout line and divide it by household.

Or rather, they didn’t. Before.

A friend posted on Facebook last week that she’d gone to the store with her daughters. Three packages of toilet paper—you’d think they were prepping for A.D. 70 all over again or something! The looks they got. The comments. The backhanded attacks.

Because three women together must live in the same house. Right?

I’ve heard it said for years. “You are who you become in a crisis.”

How you respond to mistreatment, deprivation, or chaos is the real you deep down. They say that’s what is lurking beneath the veneer of civility we polish every day. I get the point, and I won’t pretend I haven’t used the phrase, “He’s showing his true colors now,” when someone lashes out in the midst of his trial.

After all, “The good man out of the good treasure of his heart brings forth what is good; and the evil man out of the evil treasure brings forth what is evil; for his mouth speaks from that which fills his heart” (Luke 6:45).

Yeah… I don’t buy it anymore.

The “who you are in a crisis” thing, not the “abundance of the heart” thing.

You know why?

That guy down the street? The one who brings up his trash cans every week like clockwork? The one who mows his yard and trims his weeds. You know, the man who drives down the street at a reasonable pace and watches out for children and stray balls in the road? The guy who helps look for stray puppies and buys all the stuff the kids sell for their schools or sports teams?

Yeah. That man. That nice man. Your good neighbor. The one everyone wishes all your neighbors were more like?

Why is it that when he finds out his son has been arrested for unspeakable crimes, and he lashes out at a kid who cuts corners across his lawn… why is that the only speech that counts to prove the “abundance of his heart?”

What makes us ignore the abundance of all the kind, gracious things he’s said and done at all the other times?

Why isn’t that what defines him?

In the midst of “this present distress,” we can focus on all the blech and ick that comes out of people and redefine who we think they “really are” based on what is often just the fallout from a media-driven drive to keep people frenzied and panicked… #becauseratings. We can jump on folks with our backhanded attacks couched in fine-sounding “proverbs” about how this is who they really are or…

We can focus on the companies that have shifted their focus for now.

Companies like some of the movie producers who have broken protocol and made their new releases available to stream so people don’t have to leave their homes to see the latest. I’ll be watching the new Emma this weekend. Woot!

Places like Joann Crafts… who have created mask kits that you can pick up and sew for hospitals.

People like online entrepreneurs who are giving away or have greatly slashed the prices of their courses so people can use downtime productively. (too many to list, folks!  Too many.

Authors who have set their books free to give people something to read without straining budgets that might be taking a hit right now. My friend Cathe Swanson has been creating giant lists of them for readers! You should check out her website and see what she’s found lately.

 

And hey, #BecauseFiction Magazine is featuring author “Read Alongs” on Facebook.

Like the Celebrate Lit page and stay tuned. Popular authors will be reading the first chapters of our books aloud for you. God taught me something in that, and I shared it at the beginning of my recording for Christmas on Breakers Point. You can find out more about these “Read Alongs” on the Celebrate Lit Page on Facebook.

There’s more that people are doing… way more.  (and some of those links were affiliate links, so I receive a small commission. Doesn’t cost you extra.)

You should check them out. Do a Google search.  Find out what’s going on that you could help with or would help you.

But first…

backhanded attacks

It’s time to stop with the backhanded attacks, people.

Because we’re not the sum of our worst moments.

We’re God’s people, created in HIS image, washed clean, and filled with His Spirit. And a bad moment, day, week, month, or even period doesn’t redefine who we are.

Period.

Go out. Show grace. Be a picture of Christian charity when you feel most like showing what Jesus redeemed.

And whatever you do… don’t let what ends up in the sewer anyway become more important than the people it’s meant to serve.

Or something like that.

I’ve got to say it again. Please. No more backhanded attacks. The world needs encouragement. Go find what someone did right. It’ll bless you… and add something uplifting to the abundance of your heart.

Share200
Pin
Tweet
Email
206Shares
Share
Pin
Tweet
Email
206Shares

Related

Filed Under: Personal

Previous Post: « The Blue Cloak Review
Next Post: Can Anything Do Justice to a Cover This Beautiful? »

Reader Interactions

Leave a Reply Cancel reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Or, you can subscribe without commenting.

Leave a Reply Cancel reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Comments

  1. Carla says

    March 30, 2020 at 2:43 pm

    Absolutely!! Unfortunately it takes at least 10 good deeds to do away with 1bad act. So 1 bad act wipes out the 10 good ones ? I used to tell my son this in his middle school days. We survived and he’s a good 21 year old now ?
    Thanks for this reminder in this crazy time. Stay safe, healthy and blessed ?

    Reply
  2. Marion says

    March 28, 2020 at 5:45 pm

    It is sad when people are rude and unkind to each other. We all are in this together and we should encourage and uplift each other. I’m afraid if this goes on much longer things will get worse! Hang in there and may peace attend you.

    Reply
  3. Andrea Stoeckel says

    March 28, 2020 at 11:12 am

    It’s time that the people we see each day in the “updates” on TV actually care about more than the bottom line too. Wonder where some of these backhanded attacks come from? Wonder why there’s so many people hurting each other? I wish it wasn’t even our county leaders, but, unfortunately, it seems that if you don’t fit the mould we put you in, then you’re no good….

    That makes my heart hurt

    Reply
  4. Nisi says

    March 28, 2020 at 10:04 am

    Amen sister amen. Thanks for the free books.

    Reply
  5. Cathy says

    March 28, 2020 at 7:41 am

    AMEN!!
    This is a moment in time, not a lifetime.
    Take this moment and do good.
    Gos is still in control and watching!

    Reply
  6. Jennifer M. says

    March 28, 2020 at 7:39 am

    I agree. I see mixed people in my work. Those who are belittling for the smallest thing (fb group member posted they got glares because they bought a 24pk toilet paper), and those who do unintelligent things (taking entire family including Dad and Mom to get groceries at Costco where they all packed together in line waiting outside with 100 other people). The latter was irritating because we are shelter in place, and I don’t want all those children to potentially get sick when they could have stayed home with parent. It’s especially hard as I work in health care to see people hoarding items my homebound seniors or hospital staff need. Yet, they deserve care just like everyone else. I feel for my coworkers who worry about bringing it home to family because of lack of PPE, and are now trying to determine if they go to a hotel until this is over (which they can’t afford), or quit (which the patients can’t afford). Definitely appreciate all the prayers for those specifically on the front lines.

    Thank you for sharing the positive. The good people who come out during crisis. There was a local couple who bought lunch for over 170 hospital staff to say thank you. And a school made thank you cards, and raised donations for gift cards for them as well. Definitely a time to show kindness. We all need to see the Light, and know there is hope.

    Reply
  7. Kathleen Garley says

    March 28, 2020 at 6:10 am

    Exactly! Also…rude and assuming checkout persons!!! My granddaughter has been doing the shopping for her mom and me. We have brown undrinkable water h as of the time so she was trying to get us a couple of jugs of water..She was only able to get one due to virus restrictions and the rude clerk.but…the woman ahead of her bought one and gave it to her..Blessings!!!

    Reply
    • Chautona Havig says

      March 28, 2020 at 6:15 am

      That is so kind of the person ahead of her! I keep watching for truckers when I’m out near a fast food place.

      Reply

Primary Sidebar

The Because Fiction Podcast

The Because Fiction Podcast
The Because Fiction Podcast

Taking the pulse of Christian fiction

Episode 216: A Chat with Jaime Jo Wright
byChautona Havig

Like to listen on the go? You can find Because Fiction Podcast at:

  • Apple 
  • Castbox 
  • Google Play
  • Libsyn 
  • RSS
  • Spotify
  • Stitcher
  • Amazon
  • and more!
Episode 216: A Chat with Jaime Jo Wright
Episode 216: A Chat with Jaime Jo Wright
March 28, 2023
Chautona Havig
Episode 215: A Chat with Henry O. Arnold
March 24, 2023
Chautona Havig
Episode 214: A Chat about After the Shadows with Amanda Cabot
March 21, 2023
Chautona Havig
Episode 213: A Chat about Daughter of Eden with Jill Eileen Smith
March 17, 2023
Chautona Havig
Episode 212: A Chat about Code Name Edelweiss with Stephanie Landsem
February 28, 2023
Chautona Havig
Episode 211: A Chat with Lynn H. Blackburn about Under Fire
February 24, 2023
Chautona Havig
Episode 210: A Chat with Jennifer Deibel about The Maid of Ballymacool
February 21, 2023
Chautona Havig
Episode 209: A Chat with Tracie Peterson about Remember Me
February 17, 2023
Chautona Havig
Episode 208: A Chat with Author, Hallie Lee
February 14, 2023
Chautona Havig
Episode 207: A Chat with Daniella Rushton about Portal Fantasy
February 10, 2023
Chautona Havig
Search Results placeholder

Love Audio Books?

audio book ad

Check out the Sparrow Island novels. A tiny island with a lot of heart

independence islands series

Featured Books

A Ransomed Grete

A Ransomed Grete
Buy This Book Online
Buy from Amazon Kindle
A Ransomed Grete
Buy now!

Twice Sold Tales

Twice Sold Tales
Buy This Book Online
Buy from Amazon
Buy from Amazon Kindle
Twice Sold Tales
Buy now!

Under the Hibiscus

Under the Hibiscus
Buy This Book Online
Buy from Amazon
Buy from Amazon Kindle
Under the Hibiscus
Buy now!

Upcoming Posts

Sorry - nothing planned yet!

Or just subscribe to the newsletter

Recent Blog Posts

  • What Is More Terrifying than an Author with a Sharp Tent Peg?
  • Why I Can’t Wait to Read the Secrets of Sweetwater Crossing Series!
  • What Kinds of Lessons Can We Learn from the First People?

I buy my stickers here! (affiliate)

Custom Stickers, Die Cut Stickers, Bumper Stickers - Sticker Mule
Reading this right now. Just started last night, Reading this right now.  Just started last night, and I am already engrossed. 

Reposted from @lianaygeorge Get to know Perfectly Placed! Book 2 in the Hopeful Heart Series, it continues Nicki’s adventures in China and has her falling in love in ways she never imagined!

•
•
•

books book tropes convincing you to read perfectly placed hopeful hearts series contemporary christian fiction women's fiction ebook paperback
Stickers by Lorna will eventually be part of the n Stickers by Lorna will eventually be part of the next Bookstrings giveaway (this fall).

Reposted from @lornaroseboutique Link to these designs are in my bio!!!
#resbubbleartist 
#ilovestickers 
#artwork
How often does Biblical fiction go back in time... How often does Biblical fiction go back in time... before time? Not often in my experience, but Jill Eileen Smith's Daughter of Eden takes a bold step to imagine the creation of the angels... of even Michael the Archangel!  Listen in while we chat about Eden, Eve, her children, and the war between those banished from heaven and those who remained to protect those made in God's image.
@revellfiction
@Jilleileensmith
#BecauseFiction
#ChristFic
#BiblicalFiction
#DaughterofEden
#BookishPodcasts
Neville LongBarkem got a trim the other day, and h Neville LongBarkem got a trim the other day, and he's still worn out. Plus, he misses @lornarose9 si we thought we'd say hi.
#NevilleLongBarkem 
#TheShediffice
This one was a 5-star, couldn't-put-it-down wonde This one was a 5-star,  couldn't-put-it-down wonder. Soooo good. Do not wait, do not go past your co machine (computer), and you won't have to spend 200 dollars,  either!
Reposted from @patriciaraybon Spring sprung! But a deeper, mysterious vibe still sets the mood for my Annalee Spain Mysteries.

Set in Colorado's bad Klan days, the novels feature Annalee Spain—a young Black theologian who’s a Sherlock fan—solving curious intrigue and mystery while facing down dangers!

Available now! Find bookseller list here https://bit.ly/3JBenGY
Thanks and happy reading! 
#Historicalfiction #HistoryMystery #mystery #mysterybooks #mysteries #mystery #christianfiction #historicalfiction #historicalmystery #historicalmysteries #womensfiction #bookrecommendations #bookclubbook #bookstagrammers #blackbookstagrammers #blackhistory #readmorewomen #readmorewomenofcolor #Colorado #readers #getinspired #BlackStoriesMatter
So... here's tonight's literary lineup... Letters So... here's tonight's literary lineup...
Letters from the Lighthouse by Emma Carroll 
Little Shop of Found Things by Paula Brackston 
And
Perfectly Placed by @lianaygeorge 
#AmReading 
#ThinMints
So much for not finishing. Can't stop now. Some b So much for not finishing.  Can't stop now. Some books just hit the spot like a cool glass of water on a hot day or a hot bowl of stew on a cold one. 
#Amberwell 
#AmReading
  • Home
  • Bookshelf
  • New & Coming
  • Blog
  • News!
  • Disclosure & Policies
  • Privacy Policy

Copyright © 2023 · Chautona Havig · All Rights Reserved · Coding by Gretchen Louise

Don't go before you grab your FREE short story collection!