• Skip to primary navigation
  • Skip to main content
  • Skip to primary sidebar
  • Home
  • Bio
  • Bookshelf
    • Audio
    • Complete List of Chautona’s Books
    • The Rockland Chronicles
      • The Vintage Wren
      • The Aggie Series
      • The Hartfield Mysteries
      • Sight Unseen Series
        • Sight Unseen Series Archives
      • The Agency Files
      • Christmas Fiction
    • Legacy of the Vines
    • Meddlin’ Madeline
      • Madeline Blog Archive
    • Ballads from the Hearth
      • Ballads from the Hearth Blog Archive
    • Legends of the Vengeance
    • Journey of Dreams
    • Wynnewood
    • Webster’s Bakery
    • The Not-So-Fairy Tales
    • Heart of Warwickshire
  • Start HERE
    • If You Like…
    • Characters
    • Suggested Reading Order
    • Free Books
  • Blog
  • Contact
  • Podcast
    • Podcast Guest Information
    • Podcast Interview FAQ
  • Merch Shop
  • Nav Social Menu

    • Email
    • Facebook
    • Instagram
    • Pinterest
    • Twitter
    • YouTube
  • Bonus
  • New & Coming
Chautona Havig

Chautona Havig

Using story to connect YOU to the Master Storyteller

It’s Time to Stop with the Backhanded Attacks

by Chautona Havig · 8 Comments

I don't know about you, but I'm almost more disgusted with the backhanded attacks I see in how people respond to the ick around us than the ick itself. via @chautonahavig

It’s a normal scene here in our small town. Mothers shopping with their adult daughters, friends shopping together—sometimes sharing the same cart. No one thinks anything of it when you get to the checkout line and divide it by household.

Or rather, they didn’t. Before.

A friend posted on Facebook last week that she’d gone to the store with her daughters. Three packages of toilet paper—you’d think they were prepping for A.D. 70 all over again or something! The looks they got. The comments. The backhanded attacks.

Because three women together must live in the same house. Right?

I’ve heard it said for years. “You are who you become in a crisis.”

How you respond to mistreatment, deprivation, or chaos is the real you deep down. They say that’s what is lurking beneath the veneer of civility we polish every day. I get the point, and I won’t pretend I haven’t used the phrase, “He’s showing his true colors now,” when someone lashes out in the midst of his trial.

After all, “The good man out of the good treasure of his heart brings forth what is good; and the evil man out of the evil treasure brings forth what is evil; for his mouth speaks from that which fills his heart” (Luke 6:45).

Yeah… I don’t buy it anymore.

The “who you are in a crisis” thing, not the “abundance of the heart” thing.

You know why?

That guy down the street? The one who brings up his trash cans every week like clockwork? The one who mows his yard and trims his weeds. You know, the man who drives down the street at a reasonable pace and watches out for children and stray balls in the road? The guy who helps look for stray puppies and buys all the stuff the kids sell for their schools or sports teams?

Yeah. That man. That nice man. Your good neighbor. The one everyone wishes all your neighbors were more like?

Why is it that when he finds out his son has been arrested for unspeakable crimes, and he lashes out at a kid who cuts corners across his lawn… why is that the only speech that counts to prove the “abundance of his heart?”

What makes us ignore the abundance of all the kind, gracious things he’s said and done at all the other times?

Why isn’t that what defines him?

In the midst of “this present distress,” we can focus on all the blech and ick that comes out of people and redefine who we think they “really are” based on what is often just the fallout from a media-driven drive to keep people frenzied and panicked… #becauseratings. We can jump on folks with our backhanded attacks couched in fine-sounding “proverbs” about how this is who they really are or…

We can focus on the companies that have shifted their focus for now.

Companies like some of the movie producers who have broken protocol and made their new releases available to stream so people don’t have to leave their homes to see the latest. I’ll be watching the new Emma this weekend. Woot!

Places like Joann Crafts… who have created mask kits that you can pick up and sew for hospitals.

People like online entrepreneurs who are giving away or have greatly slashed the prices of their courses so people can use downtime productively. (too many to list, folks!  Too many.

Authors who have set their books free to give people something to read without straining budgets that might be taking a hit right now. My friend Cathe Swanson has been creating giant lists of them for readers! You should check out her website and see what she’s found lately.

 

And hey, #BecauseFiction Magazine is featuring author “Read Alongs” on Facebook.

Like the Celebrate Lit page and stay tuned. Popular authors will be reading the first chapters of our books aloud for you. God taught me something in that, and I shared it at the beginning of my recording for Christmas on Breakers Point. You can find out more about these “Read Alongs” on the Celebrate Lit Page on Facebook.

There’s more that people are doing… way more.  (and some of those links were affiliate links, so I receive a small commission. Doesn’t cost you extra.)

You should check them out. Do a Google search.  Find out what’s going on that you could help with or would help you.

But first…

backhanded attacks

It’s time to stop with the backhanded attacks, people.

Because we’re not the sum of our worst moments.

We’re God’s people, created in HIS image, washed clean, and filled with His Spirit. And a bad moment, day, week, month, or even period doesn’t redefine who we are.

Period.

Go out. Show grace. Be a picture of Christian charity when you feel most like showing what Jesus redeemed.

And whatever you do… don’t let what ends up in the sewer anyway become more important than the people it’s meant to serve.

Or something like that.

I’ve got to say it again. Please. No more backhanded attacks. The world needs encouragement. Go find what someone did right. It’ll bless you… and add something uplifting to the abundance of your heart.

Share218
Pin
Post
Email
224Shares
Share
Pin
Post
Email
224Shares

Filed Under: Personal

Previous Post: « The Blue Cloak Review
Next Post: Can Anything Do Justice to a Cover This Beautiful? »

Reader Interactions

Leave a Reply Cancel reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Or, you can subscribe without commenting.

Leave a Reply Cancel reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Comments

  1. Carla says

    March 30, 2020 at 2:43 pm

    Absolutely!! Unfortunately it takes at least 10 good deeds to do away with 1bad act. So 1 bad act wipes out the 10 good ones ? I used to tell my son this in his middle school days. We survived and he’s a good 21 year old now ?
    Thanks for this reminder in this crazy time. Stay safe, healthy and blessed ?

    Reply
  2. Marion says

    March 28, 2020 at 5:45 pm

    It is sad when people are rude and unkind to each other. We all are in this together and we should encourage and uplift each other. I’m afraid if this goes on much longer things will get worse! Hang in there and may peace attend you.

    Reply
  3. Andrea Stoeckel says

    March 28, 2020 at 11:12 am

    It’s time that the people we see each day in the “updates” on TV actually care about more than the bottom line too. Wonder where some of these backhanded attacks come from? Wonder why there’s so many people hurting each other? I wish it wasn’t even our county leaders, but, unfortunately, it seems that if you don’t fit the mould we put you in, then you’re no good….

    That makes my heart hurt

    Reply
  4. Nisi says

    March 28, 2020 at 10:04 am

    Amen sister amen. Thanks for the free books.

    Reply
  5. Cathy says

    March 28, 2020 at 7:41 am

    AMEN!!
    This is a moment in time, not a lifetime.
    Take this moment and do good.
    Gos is still in control and watching!

    Reply
  6. Jennifer M. says

    March 28, 2020 at 7:39 am

    I agree. I see mixed people in my work. Those who are belittling for the smallest thing (fb group member posted they got glares because they bought a 24pk toilet paper), and those who do unintelligent things (taking entire family including Dad and Mom to get groceries at Costco where they all packed together in line waiting outside with 100 other people). The latter was irritating because we are shelter in place, and I don’t want all those children to potentially get sick when they could have stayed home with parent. It’s especially hard as I work in health care to see people hoarding items my homebound seniors or hospital staff need. Yet, they deserve care just like everyone else. I feel for my coworkers who worry about bringing it home to family because of lack of PPE, and are now trying to determine if they go to a hotel until this is over (which they can’t afford), or quit (which the patients can’t afford). Definitely appreciate all the prayers for those specifically on the front lines.

    Thank you for sharing the positive. The good people who come out during crisis. There was a local couple who bought lunch for over 170 hospital staff to say thank you. And a school made thank you cards, and raised donations for gift cards for them as well. Definitely a time to show kindness. We all need to see the Light, and know there is hope.

    Reply
  7. Kathleen Garley says

    March 28, 2020 at 6:10 am

    Exactly! Also…rude and assuming checkout persons!!! My granddaughter has been doing the shopping for her mom and me. We have brown undrinkable water h as of the time so she was trying to get us a couple of jugs of water..She was only able to get one due to virus restrictions and the rude clerk.but…the woman ahead of her bought one and gave it to her..Blessings!!!

    Reply
    • Chautona Havig says

      March 28, 2020 at 6:15 am

      That is so kind of the person ahead of her! I keep watching for truckers when I’m out near a fast food place.

      Reply

Primary Sidebar

The Because Fiction Podcast

The Because Fiction Podcast
The Because Fiction Podcast

Taking the pulse of Christian fiction

A Chat with Dante Lupinetti
byChautona Havig

The last place you want to be when the electricity gives out is the desert–especially in summer. Listen in as I chat with Dante Lupinetti about his book, Desert’s Edge and how it tackles a trek across the desert and up into the mountains… with a couple hundred people in tow!

note: links may be affiliate links that provide me with a small commission at no extra expense to you.

Growing up in the area that this book takes place in, I can’t WAIT to read it. EEEP! It’s sitting right there on the shelf, taunting me. Must. Finish. My. Own. Book.

Desert’s Edge by Dante Lupinetti

The grid is down. Phoenix has 72 hours. And the only way out is through 200 miles of desert.

Former Army Ranger Jack Cross hasn’t spoken to his father in three years. Hasn’t been inside a church. Hasn’t let himself believe in much of anything since nineteen firefighters trusted him and didn’t come home.

But his father has been broadcasting on emergency radio every night since the EMP hit.

Come north. There’s room. Come anyway.

Jack has 210 terrified strangers, one missionary doctor running from her own ghosts, and a wooden cross he can’t bring himself to throw away.

The desert doesn’t care about any of that.

Neither does the clock.

When an electromagnetic pulse kills every electronic device in Phoenix during a 118-degree heat wave, Jack faces an impossible choice — stay in a city of 1.7 million people as the infrastructure collapses, or lead more than two hundred terrified strangers two hundred miles north through the Sonoran Desert to Camp Kadesh — his father’s off-grid Christian retreat in the Prescott mountains.

The father he hasn’t spoken to in three years. The refuge the old man spent five years building while everyone called him a fool.

Joining him is Dr. Faith Morrison — missionary physician, Haiti veteran, and a woman whose faith has been ground down by years of watching children die of treatable diseases while her prayers went unanswered. Together they’ll lead a caravan of families, elderly couples, frightened children, and one man hoarding water while others go thirsty — through crashed planes, contaminated water sources, rattlesnake strikes, and triple-digit heat that turns every mile into a question about whether God is still in any of this.

Jack’s father has been broadcasting on emergency radio every night. Come north. There’s room. Come anyway.

The wooden cross is still in Jack’s pocket.

Some things you can’t throw away. Some debts can’t be balanced. And some refuges are built by people who believed — long before anyone else did — that the day would come when you’d need somewhere to run.

Desert’s Edge: A Jack Cross Novel is a post-apocalyptic survival thriller about what it costs to keep walking when everything in you says stop — and what grace looks like when you finally arrive.

Especially for readers of Kyla Stone, Jamie Lee Grey, and William Forstchen.

Series: A Jack Cross Novel, Book 1 Genre: Post-Apocalyptic Survival Thriller / Christian Fiction Content: Clean read. No profanity. No explicit content.

Learn more on WEBSITE and follow on GoodReads and BookBub.

Like to listen on the go? You can find Because Fiction Podcast at:

  • Apple
  • Castbox
  • Google Play
  • Libsyn
  • RSS
  • Spotify
  • Amazon
  • YouTube
  • and more!
A Chat with Dante Lupinetti
A Chat with Dante Lupinetti
August 29, 2026
Chautona Havig
Episode 574: A Chat with Laura DeNooyer
August 24, 2026
Chautona Havig
Episode 573: A Chat with Cheryl Weber
August 22, 2026
Chautona Havig
Episode 572: A Chat with Kari Trumbo
August 19, 2026
Chautona Havig
Episode 571: A Chat with Lucas and Shauna Fischhaber
August 17, 2026
Chautona Havig
Episode 570: A Chat with Niki Florica
August 15, 2026
Chautona Havig
Episode 569: A Chat with Fayla Ott
August 10, 2026
Chautona Havig
Episode 568: A Chat with Chelsea Bobulski
August 8, 2026
Chautona Havig
Episode 567: A Chat with Roseanna M. White
August 5, 2026
Chautona Havig
Episode 566: A Chat with Clint Hall
August 3, 2026
Chautona Havig
Search Results placeholder

Love Audio Books?

audio book ad

Featured Books

Take Cover

Take Cover

CrossWords

CrossWords

Be My Inspiration

Be My Inspiration

Upcoming Posts

Sorry - nothing planned yet!

Or just subscribe to the newsletter

Recent Blog Posts

  • So, There Was That Time I Forgot What I Knew…
  • “Be Careful Little Mouth What You Say” Ain’t No Lie
  • Why Romance Is a Hairy Proposition (or is that proposal?)

I buy my stickers here! (affiliate)

Custom Stickers, Die Cut Stickers, Bumper Stickers - Sticker Mule
Judah Hensley knows three underacknowledged things Judah Hensley knows three underacknowledged things. 1. Alpacas are gross. 2. Family is complicated. 3. Faith is even worse. He might have to spend his summer hawking devotionals and enduring yet another, "Have a blessed day," but he'll survive by driving his coworker crazy and trying not to annoy his parents. Much.
Panda Marie knew working with Judah would be awful, but finding out he's lost his faith? Now what?
One old bookstore, one new location, one last summer to survive and then they all get a new start on life. Question is, will it really be better?
https://amzn.to/4hveztT #affiliatelink
#Christfic
#Bookstrings
#BookishBook
Judah Hensley knows three underacknowledged things Judah Hensley knows three underacknowledged things. 1. Alpacas are gross. 2. Family is complicated. 3. Faith is even worse. He might have to spend his summer hawking devotionals and enduring yet another, "Have a blessed day," but he'll survive by driving his coworker crazy and trying not to annoy his parents. Much.
Panda Marie knew working with Judah would be awful, but finding out he's lost his faith? Now what?
One old bookstore, one new location, one last summer to survive and then they all get a new start on life. Question is, will it really be better?
https://amzn.to/4hveztT #affiliatelink
#Christfic
#Bookstrings
#BookishBook
Judah Hensley knows three underacknowledged things Judah Hensley knows three underacknowledged things. 1. Alpacas are gross. 2. Family is complicated. 3. Faith is even worse. He might have to spend his summer hawking devotionals and enduring yet another, "Have a blessed day," but he'll survive by driving his coworker crazy and trying not to annoy his parents. Much.
Panda Marie knew working with Judah would be awful, but finding out he's lost his faith? Now what?
One old bookstore, one new location, one last summer to survive and then they all get a new start on life. Question is, will it really be better?
https://amzn.to/4hveztT #affiliatelink
#Christfic
#Bookstrings
#BookishBook
Judah Hensley knows three underacknowledged things Judah Hensley knows three underacknowledged things. 1. Alpacas are gross. 2. Family is complicated. 3. Faith is even worse. He might have to spend his summer hawking devotionals and enduring yet another, "Have a blessed day," but he'll survive by driving his coworker crazy and trying not to annoy his parents. Much.
Panda Marie knew working with Judah would be awful, but finding out he's lost his faith? Now what?
One old bookstore, one new location, one last summer to survive and then they all get a new start on life. Question is, will it really be better?
https://amzn.to/4hveztT #affiliatelink
#Christfic
#Bookstrings
#BookishBook
Judah Hensley knows three underacknowledged things Judah Hensley knows three underacknowledged things. 1. Alpacas are gross. 2. Family is complicated. 3. Faith is even worse. He might have to spend his summer hawking devotionals and enduring yet another, "Have a blessed day," but he'll survive by driving his coworker crazy and trying not to annoy his parents. Much.
Panda Marie knew working with Judah would be awful, but finding out he's lost his faith? Now what?
One old bookstore, one new location, one last summer to survive and then they all get a new start on life. Question is, will it really be better?
https://amzn.to/4hveztT #affiliatelink
#Christfic
#Bookstrings
#BookishBook
Judah Hensley knows three underacknowledged things Judah Hensley knows three underacknowledged things. 1. Alpacas are gross. 2. Family is complicated. 3. Faith is even worse. He might have to spend his summer hawking devotionals and enduring yet another, "Have a blessed day," but he'll survive by driving his coworker crazy and trying not to annoy his parents. Much.
Panda Marie knew working with Judah would be awful, but finding out he's lost his faith? Now what?
One old bookstore, one new location, one last summer to survive and then they all get a new start on life. Question is, will it really be better?
https://amzn.to/4hveztT #affiliatelink
#Christfic
#Bookstrings
#BookishBook
Judah Hensley knows three underacknowledged things Judah Hensley knows three underacknowledged things. 1. Alpacas are gross. 2. Family is complicated. 3. Faith is even worse. He might have to spend his summer hawking devotionals and enduring yet another, "Have a blessed day," but he'll survive by driving his coworker crazy and trying not to annoy his parents. Much.
Panda Marie knew working with Judah would be awful, but finding out he's lost his faith? Now what?
One old bookstore, one new location, one last summer to survive and then they all get a new start on life. Question is, will it really be better?
https://amzn.to/4hveztT #affiliatelink
#Christfic
#Bookstrings
#BookishBook
  • Home
  • Bookshelf
  • New & Coming
  • Blog
  • News!
  • Disclosure & Policies
  • Privacy Policy

Copyright © 2026 · Chautona Havig · All Rights Reserved · Coding by Gretchen Louise

Don't go before you grab your FREE short story collection!