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Chautona Havig

Chautona Havig

Using story to connect YOU to the Master Storyteller

It’s Time to Stop with the Backhanded Attacks

by Chautona Havig · 8 Comments

I don't know about you, but I'm almost more disgusted with the backhanded attacks I see in how people respond to the ick around us than the ick itself. via @chautonahavig

It’s a normal scene here in our small town. Mothers shopping with their adult daughters, friends shopping together—sometimes sharing the same cart. No one thinks anything of it when you get to the checkout line and divide it by household.

Or rather, they didn’t. Before.

A friend posted on Facebook last week that she’d gone to the store with her daughters. Three packages of toilet paper—you’d think they were prepping for A.D. 70 all over again or something! The looks they got. The comments. The backhanded attacks.

Because three women together must live in the same house. Right?

I’ve heard it said for years. “You are who you become in a crisis.”

How you respond to mistreatment, deprivation, or chaos is the real you deep down. They say that’s what is lurking beneath the veneer of civility we polish every day. I get the point, and I won’t pretend I haven’t used the phrase, “He’s showing his true colors now,” when someone lashes out in the midst of his trial.

After all, “The good man out of the good treasure of his heart brings forth what is good; and the evil man out of the evil treasure brings forth what is evil; for his mouth speaks from that which fills his heart” (Luke 6:45).

Yeah… I don’t buy it anymore.

The “who you are in a crisis” thing, not the “abundance of the heart” thing.

You know why?

That guy down the street? The one who brings up his trash cans every week like clockwork? The one who mows his yard and trims his weeds. You know, the man who drives down the street at a reasonable pace and watches out for children and stray balls in the road? The guy who helps look for stray puppies and buys all the stuff the kids sell for their schools or sports teams?

Yeah. That man. That nice man. Your good neighbor. The one everyone wishes all your neighbors were more like?

Why is it that when he finds out his son has been arrested for unspeakable crimes, and he lashes out at a kid who cuts corners across his lawn… why is that the only speech that counts to prove the “abundance of his heart?”

What makes us ignore the abundance of all the kind, gracious things he’s said and done at all the other times?

Why isn’t that what defines him?

In the midst of “this present distress,” we can focus on all the blech and ick that comes out of people and redefine who we think they “really are” based on what is often just the fallout from a media-driven drive to keep people frenzied and panicked… #becauseratings. We can jump on folks with our backhanded attacks couched in fine-sounding “proverbs” about how this is who they really are or…

We can focus on the companies that have shifted their focus for now.

Companies like some of the movie producers who have broken protocol and made their new releases available to stream so people don’t have to leave their homes to see the latest. I’ll be watching the new Emma this weekend. Woot!

Places like Joann Crafts… who have created mask kits that you can pick up and sew for hospitals.

People like online entrepreneurs who are giving away or have greatly slashed the prices of their courses so people can use downtime productively. (too many to list, folks!  Too many.

Authors who have set their books free to give people something to read without straining budgets that might be taking a hit right now. My friend Cathe Swanson has been creating giant lists of them for readers! You should check out her website and see what she’s found lately.

 

And hey, #BecauseFiction Magazine is featuring author “Read Alongs” on Facebook.

Like the Celebrate Lit page and stay tuned. Popular authors will be reading the first chapters of our books aloud for you. God taught me something in that, and I shared it at the beginning of my recording for Christmas on Breakers Point. You can find out more about these “Read Alongs” on the Celebrate Lit Page on Facebook.

There’s more that people are doing… way more.  (and some of those links were affiliate links, so I receive a small commission. Doesn’t cost you extra.)

You should check them out. Do a Google search.  Find out what’s going on that you could help with or would help you.

But first…

backhanded attacks

It’s time to stop with the backhanded attacks, people.

Because we’re not the sum of our worst moments.

We’re God’s people, created in HIS image, washed clean, and filled with His Spirit. And a bad moment, day, week, month, or even period doesn’t redefine who we are.

Period.

Go out. Show grace. Be a picture of Christian charity when you feel most like showing what Jesus redeemed.

And whatever you do… don’t let what ends up in the sewer anyway become more important than the people it’s meant to serve.

Or something like that.

I’ve got to say it again. Please. No more backhanded attacks. The world needs encouragement. Go find what someone did right. It’ll bless you… and add something uplifting to the abundance of your heart.

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Comments

  1. Carla says

    March 30, 2020 at 2:43 pm

    Absolutely!! Unfortunately it takes at least 10 good deeds to do away with 1bad act. So 1 bad act wipes out the 10 good ones ? I used to tell my son this in his middle school days. We survived and he’s a good 21 year old now ?
    Thanks for this reminder in this crazy time. Stay safe, healthy and blessed ?

    Reply
  2. Marion says

    March 28, 2020 at 5:45 pm

    It is sad when people are rude and unkind to each other. We all are in this together and we should encourage and uplift each other. I’m afraid if this goes on much longer things will get worse! Hang in there and may peace attend you.

    Reply
  3. Andrea Stoeckel says

    March 28, 2020 at 11:12 am

    It’s time that the people we see each day in the “updates” on TV actually care about more than the bottom line too. Wonder where some of these backhanded attacks come from? Wonder why there’s so many people hurting each other? I wish it wasn’t even our county leaders, but, unfortunately, it seems that if you don’t fit the mould we put you in, then you’re no good….

    That makes my heart hurt

    Reply
  4. Nisi says

    March 28, 2020 at 10:04 am

    Amen sister amen. Thanks for the free books.

    Reply
  5. Cathy says

    March 28, 2020 at 7:41 am

    AMEN!!
    This is a moment in time, not a lifetime.
    Take this moment and do good.
    Gos is still in control and watching!

    Reply
  6. Jennifer M. says

    March 28, 2020 at 7:39 am

    I agree. I see mixed people in my work. Those who are belittling for the smallest thing (fb group member posted they got glares because they bought a 24pk toilet paper), and those who do unintelligent things (taking entire family including Dad and Mom to get groceries at Costco where they all packed together in line waiting outside with 100 other people). The latter was irritating because we are shelter in place, and I don’t want all those children to potentially get sick when they could have stayed home with parent. It’s especially hard as I work in health care to see people hoarding items my homebound seniors or hospital staff need. Yet, they deserve care just like everyone else. I feel for my coworkers who worry about bringing it home to family because of lack of PPE, and are now trying to determine if they go to a hotel until this is over (which they can’t afford), or quit (which the patients can’t afford). Definitely appreciate all the prayers for those specifically on the front lines.

    Thank you for sharing the positive. The good people who come out during crisis. There was a local couple who bought lunch for over 170 hospital staff to say thank you. And a school made thank you cards, and raised donations for gift cards for them as well. Definitely a time to show kindness. We all need to see the Light, and know there is hope.

    Reply
  7. Kathleen Garley says

    March 28, 2020 at 6:10 am

    Exactly! Also…rude and assuming checkout persons!!! My granddaughter has been doing the shopping for her mom and me. We have brown undrinkable water h as of the time so she was trying to get us a couple of jugs of water..She was only able to get one due to virus restrictions and the rude clerk.but…the woman ahead of her bought one and gave it to her..Blessings!!!

    Reply
    • Chautona Havig says

      March 28, 2020 at 6:15 am

      That is so kind of the person ahead of her! I keep watching for truckers when I’m out near a fast food place.

      Reply

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 Oh, wow.  When I read the synopsis for House of Honor by Margaret Ann Philbrick, I knew this was going to be a fabulous book.  Forget all the endorsements and starred reviews, listen in to hear just how awesome this book is!  

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 House of Honor by Margaret Ann Philbrick

Two Italian sons, one woman, linked by a masterpiece painting, are put to a test of loyalty and honor.

At the heart of this gripping tale is Orazio Bordoni, the wayward son of a construction magnate, living a reckless life like that of his artistic hero Caravaggio. He finds himself befriended by Nicolo Giotto, the devoted son of a powerful Sicilian mafia clan, who wants to uphold the honor of his family.

As the dark underbelly of the art world and the Vatican expose their true character, Orazio finds himself in a world where his loyalty is tested, honor is at stake, and the boundaries between life, love, and art blur. He and Nicolo discover just how far they’re willing to push those boundaries, even if it means sacrificing everything.

House of Honor is a pivotal story that weaves the threads of history, the ruthless allure of the mafia, the enigmatic power of the Vatican, and the timeless brilliance of Caravaggio.

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