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Chautona Havig

Chautona Havig

Using story to connect YOU to the Master Storyteller

A Rebel in the Making: My Father’s Influence

by Chautona Havig · 8 Comments

Anyone who knows my father knows that “rebel” sounds incongruous with his strict rules and expectations. When other kids wore blue jeans, t-shirts, and “sneakers,” my siblings wore leather soled shoes, slacks (for the boys), buttoned up shirts, or dresses (my sister).  The boys had crew cuts when everyone else in their classrooms had hair lapping their collars.  Dad was stern, direct, immovable.  I saw him as about ten feet tall as a little girl.  I doubt he’s more than 5’9″.  But thanks to his influence, I was definitely a rebel in the making.

A Rebel in the Making(links in this post may be affiliate links and as such, I receive a small commission on purchases at no additional cost to you.)

My parents had rules–strict ones.

They gave me a lot of freedom and a lot of trust.  I earned both.  If I said I was going to be home at 5:00 p.m., I’d better walk in that door by 4:59, because if I made it inside after 5:00:01, I was late (not much of an exaggeration there, either.  If it hit 5:01, I was grounded). Doesn’t sound much like an environment created by a rebel, does it?

Meals were simple.  They served me my food on the plate.  Didn’t matter what was on that plate, I was expected to eat all of it.  There never was much, but there was always a bit of each thing served.  Liver, onions, and bacon?  Eat it.  (Yum!).  Cow brains?  Eat ’em.  (not so yum…. texture is pretty gross unless mixed with scrambled eggs). Heart, sweetbreads, snails–we did it all.  I ate it all.  I ate it because it was served to me.  They’d help me choke anything down, but I had to choke it down.  After that tiny bit of food (really small servings, people), I could get more of whatever I wanted.

Proof that Dad was a rebel #1.

In the late 70’s and early 80’s, we heard often about “the starving kids in Africa.”  Parents told their kids to clear their plates because of those hungry kids.  I never understood why.  Any kid knew that stuffing food into himself so it wasn’t wasted didn’t help that other kid at all, and it certainly never engendered gratitude in any kid I knew.

My mom used to say, “Okay, the starving kids in Cleveland would love to have that crust.”  It was her way of saying, “Be careful not to take so much next time.”  Why?  Because once I ate the required allotment of food, anything else I took was my choice, and I didn’t have to finish.  My father was a societal rebel on that score.  He’d say, “Why teach someone to eat food their body doesn’t need in the name of reducing waste?  All it does is teach them to overeat.”  I never did learn the art of “stuffing myself” like a turkey on Thanksgiving.  I can’t do it.  Never could.

Proof that Dad was a rebel #2.

Dad was an educational rebel, too. A blue-collar worker who didn’t make much money, he managed to provide a private education for me from second grade on. As a kid, it was just “what we did.”  As a mom of nine, I see the sacrifice they made. When the schools (that he paid an arm and half a leg for) didn’t do a good enough job in his opinion, he supplemented in afternoons and on weekends. When our little Christian school in Ventura closed during the wake of the political crackdown on these “illegal schools” (hogwash), he kept me home.

I did half a year at our kitchen table in 1982.  In the early half of 1984, we moved out to the middle of nowhere (otherwise known as Landers, California) and again, for half a year, I did my schooling from the table, the couch, or my bed. Dad refused to put me into schools he considered inferior to what he could provide himself.

Proof that Dad was a rebel #3.

He never wore seatbelts. For most of my childhood, that wasn’t a big deal.  It wasn’t the law back then.  Mom wore them all the time.  Dad never did, and I was left to choose.  I was a bit of a diplomat in those days.  Okay, I was a fence-sitter who liked to think of herself as a diplomat–much more romantic than a “wishy-washy fence-sitter”.  I wore it about half the time and ignored it the rest.

Once I began driving, I wore it all the time.  Even when it became law, Dad didn’t recognize the law as being Constitutional (doesn’t believe the government has the right to dictate what doesn’t injure others) and opted out of it. If he got a ticket, he paid without protest.  And continued not wearing it. Again influenced by both, I was a rebel in the making–soooo rebelious!  😉

His not wearing one likely saved his life in a terrible rollover once.  He was thrown from his truck rather than being crushed when the driver’s side was bashed in as it hit a giant boulder.

What does all of this have to do with anything?  Who cares if my dad is a rebel?

Well, people often ask if Willow from Past Forward is like me, my mom, my kids.  To a small degree, I’d say her directness and unwillingness to be stifled into some kind of “box” is definitely a bit like my mom, and therefore me. I’m a lot like my mom sometimes.

They then ask about Kari.  Kari is most like my Dad.  I didn’t know it when I wrote the books. But when I looked back later, I realized that so much of her approach to life, to education, to living, is Dad.  Kari was a rebel, too.

When attacked in one of the worst ways possible, she refused to be a victim.  It’s kind of ironic, because, like most people who refuse that moniker, she behaved just like one. She let the oppressor win when she ran away from life and built a new one.

Ahh… Dad.

But that solitary life, that reliance only on self and the Lord, that desire to buck the system and be whoever she chose to be, that’s Dad. Had he ever thought of it, I would never have entered a school.  I suspect my education would have been much like Willow’s. In fact, my pre-schooling education was. Mom taught me how to read using Little Golden Books and Nancy Drew.  Dad taught me to tell time by teaching me the 5’s times tables and using the clock face. Mom taught me to tie my shoe by showing me every single time I asked and then one day refusing to take me to the store until I tied my black and white saddle shoes all by myself.  I was four.

You know, I don’t have many regrets in my life.  It’s not that I think everything I did was so perfect; it’s that I did my best with what information I had, and trusted the Lord to guide and fix what I botched.  But one thing I would do over again. If I got pregnant today, anyway, I would definitely give baby ten a “Willow education.”

P.S. That is not a pregnancy announcement.

Am I crazy even to consider more Willow in the future? What do you think?  And who knew I was a rebel in the making thanks to dad?

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Filed Under: General Information, Writing Tagged With: Past Forward

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Comments

  1. Beth Erin says

    July 20, 2016 at 6:06 am

    I’d love to read more Willow! Her approach to life is refreshing and I always enjoy reading about the children as they grow up.
    Sounds like your dad is the best kind of rebel, the kind that puts faith and family first!

    Reply
  2. Emma Filbrun says

    July 19, 2016 at 12:39 pm

    I would love more of Willow! Sure hope you do write more about her. Thank you for all your great books; I really enjoy them.

    Reply
  3. Keri Delahay says

    July 19, 2016 at 11:25 am

    My day has been brightened just by the possibility of getting back in touch with Willow and her family! You brought them to life for me and I’ve missed them. I’m really looking forward to more “Past Forward”!

    Reply
  4. Deborah G says

    July 19, 2016 at 8:57 am

    More Willow? Wow! Yes, please.

    Reply
  5. Mari says

    July 19, 2016 at 8:20 am

    Oh yay oh yay oh yay! More Willow! I CANNOT wait! ?How’s that for an answer? Willow and Aggie got me hooked on your books. I love how we get to actually be a part of your characters lives and not just a moment of their lives. I look forward to seeing Willow grow.

    Reply
  6. Cathe says

    July 19, 2016 at 7:19 am

    I loved the audiobook for Past Forward Volume 1 – looking forward to more!

    Reply
  7. Cathy Higginbotham says

    July 19, 2016 at 6:52 am

    Me again twice in one morning oh dear ?
    A big YES to more Willow!
    She was my first read into Chautona land and she filled my summer last year with wonder and simplicity. I’ve been hooked ever since and often wonder what she’s up to these days!

    Blessings,
    Cathy
    PS: Curious to know is WOOT short for something or just an added exclamation point? I see you use it often and wonder every time!

    Reply
    • Chautona Havig says

      July 19, 2016 at 3:31 pm

      It’s my “yeee haw!” because that sounds ridiculous here in SoCal.

      Reply

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Episode 264: A Chat with Romance Author, Sarah Monzon
byChautona Havig

Finally getting a chance to chat with Sarah Monzon was a total delight, and learning all about her latest release, All’s Fair in Love and Christmas was equally awesome.  My copy is here and waiting for me to dive into the battle of the celebrations!  EEEP! Listen in to see what that even means!

Note: I sound like I’m underwater. We heard it during our interview, but I couldn’t make it behave and couldn’t fix it. Sorry!

Note: links may be affiliate links that provide me with a small commission at no extra expense to you.

How Does an Intense Christmas Competition Lead to Love?

All’s Fair in Love and Christmas has so much going for it that I don’t know where to start! Fun mom who made our heroine’s childhood Christmases an international delight without ever leaving home?  Check!  Social anxiety adding to the stress of competing for a promotion?  Check?  Romcom hilarity?  Check, check?  And add to all that Sarah’s wonderful writing and delightful characterization?  I’m all in.

We also chatted about why she chose to write about a woman with social anxiety, her preferred reading methods, and some of my favorite books by her. For a refresher, those are The Isaac Project, 12 Days of Snowmen, and Book Nerds & Boyfriends (a collection of three novellas).

All’s Fair in Love and Christmas by Sarah Monzon

Two workplace rivals. One festive competition. And a romance that upends it all.

Every December two things are guaranteed for graphic designer Mackenzie Graham–Christmas celebrations and the annual promotion at her workplace. Those two things are by no means mutually exclusive. In fact, the better an employee is at harnessing the Christmas spirit, the more likely they’ll win the new job. With her social anxiety, Mackenzie never thought she’d be a contender in her company’s holiday competition, so how exactly has she found herself dueling her workplace crush with wrapping paper tubes and using tinsel as her weapon of choice for a much-needed raise?

Jeremy Fletcher’s life is meticulously planned out, including how to win this year’s promotion at work. Not only will the new position fulfill some of his career goals, but as a single guardian to his twin niece and nephew, he needs the salary increase to support his family. Jeremy has barely noticed Mackenzie Graham around the office, but now that she’s his rival, he can’t stop thinking about her. Her quirkiness intrigues him, and he’s afraid that if he can’t get his head on straight, the promotion isn’t the only thing he’ll end up losing to Mackenzie.

“Inspirational rom-com readers are going to love this one.”–BETHANY TURNER, bestselling author of The Do-Over

You can learn more about Sarah on her WEBSITE.  Also follow her on BookBub and GoodReads.

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Episode 264: A Chat with Romance Author, Sarah Monzon
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