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Chautona Havig

Chautona Havig

Using story to connect YOU to the Master Storyteller

A Rebel in the Making: My Father’s Influence

by Chautona Havig · 8 Comments

Anyone who knows my father knows that “rebel” sounds incongruous with his strict rules and expectations. When other kids wore blue jeans, t-shirts, and “sneakers,” my siblings wore leather soled shoes, slacks (for the boys), buttoned up shirts, or dresses (my sister).  The boys had crew cuts when everyone else in their classrooms had hair lapping their collars.  Dad was stern, direct, immovable.  I saw him as about ten feet tall as a little girl.  I doubt he’s more than 5’9″.  But thanks to his influence, I was definitely a rebel in the making.

A Rebel in the Making(links in this post may be affiliate links and as such, I receive a small commission on purchases at no additional cost to you.)

My parents had rules–strict ones.

They gave me a lot of freedom and a lot of trust.  I earned both.  If I said I was going to be home at 5:00 p.m., I’d better walk in that door by 4:59, because if I made it inside after 5:00:01, I was late (not much of an exaggeration there, either.  If it hit 5:01, I was grounded). Doesn’t sound much like an environment created by a rebel, does it?

Meals were simple.  They served me my food on the plate.  Didn’t matter what was on that plate, I was expected to eat all of it.  There never was much, but there was always a bit of each thing served.  Liver, onions, and bacon?  Eat it.  (Yum!).  Cow brains?  Eat ’em.  (not so yum…. texture is pretty gross unless mixed with scrambled eggs). Heart, sweetbreads, snails–we did it all.  I ate it all.  I ate it because it was served to me.  They’d help me choke anything down, but I had to choke it down.  After that tiny bit of food (really small servings, people), I could get more of whatever I wanted.

Proof that Dad was a rebel #1.

In the late 70’s and early 80’s, we heard often about “the starving kids in Africa.”  Parents told their kids to clear their plates because of those hungry kids.  I never understood why.  Any kid knew that stuffing food into himself so it wasn’t wasted didn’t help that other kid at all, and it certainly never engendered gratitude in any kid I knew.

My mom used to say, “Okay, the starving kids in Cleveland would love to have that crust.”  It was her way of saying, “Be careful not to take so much next time.”  Why?  Because once I ate the required allotment of food, anything else I took was my choice, and I didn’t have to finish.  My father was a societal rebel on that score.  He’d say, “Why teach someone to eat food their body doesn’t need in the name of reducing waste?  All it does is teach them to overeat.”  I never did learn the art of “stuffing myself” like a turkey on Thanksgiving.  I can’t do it.  Never could.

Proof that Dad was a rebel #2.

Dad was an educational rebel, too. A blue-collar worker who didn’t make much money, he managed to provide a private education for me from second grade on. As a kid, it was just “what we did.”  As a mom of nine, I see the sacrifice they made. When the schools (that he paid an arm and half a leg for) didn’t do a good enough job in his opinion, he supplemented in afternoons and on weekends. When our little Christian school in Ventura closed during the wake of the political crackdown on these “illegal schools” (hogwash), he kept me home.

I did half a year at our kitchen table in 1982.  In the early half of 1984, we moved out to the middle of nowhere (otherwise known as Landers, California) and again, for half a year, I did my schooling from the table, the couch, or my bed. Dad refused to put me into schools he considered inferior to what he could provide himself.

Proof that Dad was a rebel #3.

He never wore seatbelts. For most of my childhood, that wasn’t a big deal.  It wasn’t the law back then.  Mom wore them all the time.  Dad never did, and I was left to choose.  I was a bit of a diplomat in those days.  Okay, I was a fence-sitter who liked to think of herself as a diplomat–much more romantic than a “wishy-washy fence-sitter”.  I wore it about half the time and ignored it the rest.

Once I began driving, I wore it all the time.  Even when it became law, Dad didn’t recognize the law as being Constitutional (doesn’t believe the government has the right to dictate what doesn’t injure others) and opted out of it. If he got a ticket, he paid without protest.  And continued not wearing it. Again influenced by both, I was a rebel in the making–soooo rebelious!  😉

His not wearing one likely saved his life in a terrible rollover once.  He was thrown from his truck rather than being crushed when the driver’s side was bashed in as it hit a giant boulder.

What does all of this have to do with anything?  Who cares if my dad is a rebel?

Well, people often ask if Willow from Past Forward is like me, my mom, my kids.  To a small degree, I’d say her directness and unwillingness to be stifled into some kind of “box” is definitely a bit like my mom, and therefore me. I’m a lot like my mom sometimes.

They then ask about Kari.  Kari is most like my Dad.  I didn’t know it when I wrote the books. But when I looked back later, I realized that so much of her approach to life, to education, to living, is Dad.  Kari was a rebel, too.

When attacked in one of the worst ways possible, she refused to be a victim.  It’s kind of ironic, because, like most people who refuse that moniker, she behaved just like one. She let the oppressor win when she ran away from life and built a new one.

Ahh… Dad.

But that solitary life, that reliance only on self and the Lord, that desire to buck the system and be whoever she chose to be, that’s Dad. Had he ever thought of it, I would never have entered a school.  I suspect my education would have been much like Willow’s. In fact, my pre-schooling education was. Mom taught me how to read using Little Golden Books and Nancy Drew.  Dad taught me to tell time by teaching me the 5’s times tables and using the clock face. Mom taught me to tie my shoe by showing me every single time I asked and then one day refusing to take me to the store until I tied my black and white saddle shoes all by myself.  I was four.

You know, I don’t have many regrets in my life.  It’s not that I think everything I did was so perfect; it’s that I did my best with what information I had, and trusted the Lord to guide and fix what I botched.  But one thing I would do over again. If I got pregnant today, anyway, I would definitely give baby ten a “Willow education.”

P.S. That is not a pregnancy announcement.

Am I crazy even to consider more Willow in the future? What do you think?  And who knew I was a rebel in the making thanks to dad?

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Filed Under: General Information, Writing Tagged With: Past Forward

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Comments

  1. Beth Erin says

    July 20, 2016 at 6:06 am

    I’d love to read more Willow! Her approach to life is refreshing and I always enjoy reading about the children as they grow up.
    Sounds like your dad is the best kind of rebel, the kind that puts faith and family first!

    Reply
  2. Emma Filbrun says

    July 19, 2016 at 12:39 pm

    I would love more of Willow! Sure hope you do write more about her. Thank you for all your great books; I really enjoy them.

    Reply
  3. Keri Delahay says

    July 19, 2016 at 11:25 am

    My day has been brightened just by the possibility of getting back in touch with Willow and her family! You brought them to life for me and I’ve missed them. I’m really looking forward to more “Past Forward”!

    Reply
  4. Deborah G says

    July 19, 2016 at 8:57 am

    More Willow? Wow! Yes, please.

    Reply
  5. Mari says

    July 19, 2016 at 8:20 am

    Oh yay oh yay oh yay! More Willow! I CANNOT wait! ?How’s that for an answer? Willow and Aggie got me hooked on your books. I love how we get to actually be a part of your characters lives and not just a moment of their lives. I look forward to seeing Willow grow.

    Reply
  6. Cathe says

    July 19, 2016 at 7:19 am

    I loved the audiobook for Past Forward Volume 1 – looking forward to more!

    Reply
  7. Cathy Higginbotham says

    July 19, 2016 at 6:52 am

    Me again twice in one morning oh dear ?
    A big YES to more Willow!
    She was my first read into Chautona land and she filled my summer last year with wonder and simplicity. I’ve been hooked ever since and often wonder what she’s up to these days!

    Blessings,
    Cathy
    PS: Curious to know is WOOT short for something or just an added exclamation point? I see you use it often and wonder every time!

    Reply
    • Chautona Havig says

      July 19, 2016 at 3:31 pm

      It’s my “yeee haw!” because that sounds ridiculous here in SoCal.

      Reply

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The Because Fiction Podcast

The Because Fiction Podcast
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Taking the pulse of Christian fiction

Episode 162: A Chat with Author, Nancy Naigle
byChautona Havig

Hey, we’re back after a couple of weeks of vacation, and boy did I need it. And, have I got a fabulous interview for you. Nancy Naigle and I talked about her books, her most recent release, What Remains True as well as her Christmas books and the one I’m most anxious to read, The Shell Collector. Listen in and learn about what Nancy says about this bet she has going on in What Remains True. Great stuff!

Note: links may be affiliate links that provide me with a small commission at no extra expense to you.

Need a Great Romantic Read to Wind Up Your Summer Reads?

As I said in the podcast, a while back, someone told me I’d LOVE The Shell Collector–one of those people who recommends books you HAVE to read if they say you do.  So I bought it and it’s been sitting on my shelf ever since. Well, now it’s on my GoodReads shelf, and I’m about to start it (and I optimistically thought I’d be done with it by the time this episode released. Oh, me of too much faith in myself and my time management!)

Author of over thirty books, not to mention a bestselling author who also has movies made of her novels (And The Shell Collector has been optioned! EEEP!), Nancy loves to write Christmas books and small-town stories. Seriously, as we talked, I felt like she was talking about me half the time. We’re so very alike in so many ways. It was fun.

Nancy also pointed out that her first books (if you go WAY back) are not Christian fiction and are a bit spicier than she prefers to write and definitely more than she writes today. So be warned there, but she did assure us that they are all closed-door books.

What Remains True by Nancy Naigle

One woman wants to win a bet. One man wants to become a rodeo champion. One little girl may give them both something even better—from USA Today bestselling author Nancy Naigle.

“A commitment-phobic rodeo star and a divorcée with secrets find love in this wholesome romance. . . . As uplifting as it is sweet.”—Publishers Weekly

Working at a little shop on Main Street in a small town is exactly the break that executive Merry Anna Foster needs following her divorce. She’s made a bet with her ex-husband that she can live on the amount of money she’s giving him in alimony. If she can do it, then Kevin will have to stop complaining and leave her alone. But after three months of this new life, will she even want to leave Antler Creek?

Adam Locklear, bull rider and owner of the local feedstore, is having the best year of his rodeo career. He’s also a bit distracted by the pretty new neighbor living in his old bunkhouse. But Adam has no time for matters of the heart. He’s got his future all mapped out, and that future doesn’t involve a woman just yet. It doesn’t involve parenting a little girl either. However, Carly Fowler still suddenly leaves five-year-old Zan—the daughter Adam didn’t know he had—in his care.

Is it possible that the future holds a life even better than what Merry Anna and Adam had each dreamed of? One that includes both tenderness and even love—not just for each other but for Zan too?

You can learn more about Nancy’s books and movies on her WEBSITE.

Oh, and PSST… I’m loving the audiobook of this one!

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Episode 162: A Chat with Author, Nancy Naigle
Episode 162: A Chat with Author, Nancy Naigle
August 9, 2022
Chautona Havig
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July 22, 2022
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July 19, 2022
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July 12, 2022
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Episode 157: A Chat with Historical Christian Fiction Author, Lynn Austin
July 8, 2022
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July 5, 2022
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Episode 154: A Chat with Romantic Suspense Author, Sami A. Abrams
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Episode 153: A Chat with Historical Author, Tracie Peterson
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