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Chautona Havig

Chautona Havig

Using story to connect YOU to the Master Storyteller

How Can You Praise God When You Made Every Mistake in the Book?

by Chautona Havig · 12 Comments

Mothering is a hard job sometimes, but it's so much more rewarding than anyone ever told me back when I was sure I didn't want anything to do with it! via @chautonahavig

The day I really began my mothering journey… It was a Wednesday. I could never forget that for reasons you’ll see in a minute or two. I worked at a local Chinese delivery place—Mandarin Express.

My shift began at ten in the morning, and I got off at five. Sometime around two or so, after I’d had to sit down for the third or fourth time, I clocked out. My boss protested. I said, “Look, I’m not working. I can’t roll five egg rolls without having to sit down. I’ll stay in case you have to leave and take an order, but I’m not going to get paid not to work.”

mothering

She agreed. Like she had a choice. For the record? That should have been our first clue. For those who don’t know me, I take orders; I don’t give them.

After getting home and taking a long, hot shower, I got dressed and headed off to Bible study. That’s when the fever hit. I thought I had the flu coming on and almost left church. One of the older women told my birth coach, “She’ll have that baby tonight or tomorrow.”

My coach went home and draped her car’s seats in black plastic trash bags. Unaware that my fate had been sealed by the voice of wisdom, I went home and crashed on the living room couch. At about ten o’clock, I got up to use the bathroom and my water broke.

Score one for Mrs. Shrewsberry.

At that point, I did three things. First, I called my birth coach. Polly promised to come right over. That’s when I learned that I could blame Mrs. Shrewsberry for my current labor predicament. It’s also when I had my first contraction. Yay.

Then I called my doctor. I let the service know that we’d be there in about two hours (after all, it was around 90 miles away).

That done, and having fully soaked the living room carpet by that point (that should have been a clue how messy this mothering thing would be), I went to inform my mother who was in the shower. She shut off the water, grabbed a towel, and started to step out.

I suggested she rinse the soap from her hair.

That still makes me laugh when I think of it. My unrufflable mother… got ruffled. Ha!

The trip from Ridgecrest to Apple Valley: uneventful.

Everything shifted the moment I arrived at the hospital, though.

Look, I could go into details—things like how the doctor made me have a caudal when I didn’t want one, or how my mom freaked out (in her way by silently turning away and leaving the room) when I had a bad contraction, or even how that baby refused to come out and did serious damage to me in their efforts to extract her from me without a c-section…

mothering
This is not a picture of my baby… but it is an excellent representation of what I thought of my 11-hour labor (which I know is short for a first, but it doesn’t feel short while you’re in it)

Okay, I have to throw something in on that one. Having had eight children after #1daughter, I happen to know that I would have done a whole lot better if they’d put me up on my hands and knees instead of flat on my back so I was pushing uphill. There. Just had to get that off my chest.

Instead, I got a boatload of stitches and orders not to eat anything with small seeds for six weeks. For the record, accidentally eating a sesame bun burger proved why. Ouch!

Then it happened…

The baby was born. 

Polly and I sat there, breathless, waiting. I’ll admit, my fingers were crossed. I wanted it to be a girl so badly I couldn’t stand it. Polly and Mom wanted a boy.

They cleaned up the baby, and we still waited.

Look, it felt like five minutes passed. It was probably one or two at the most. But finally, Polly did what I never could have back then. She said, “So what is it!!??!!??”

“It’s a girl.”

I won.

Then the scariest and most wonderful thing happened. A nurse on my left asked for my right arm—she had to lean across a gurney to do it. I gave it to her. And in one movement, she pulled me onto my stomach onto that gurney.

Panic city for about 3.2 seconds.

Then relief as I realized I could lay on my stomach again, and as warmth enveloped me. They’d put blankets in a warmer and draped me in them… all toasty.

Seriously, that is the only thing about that birth (aside from the baby, of course) that was superior to any of my others.

I got to hold the baby a couple of hours later.

I’d never planned to have children, but she was the child the Lord used to prove me wrong about that idea. She’s the child who made me a mother—that firstborn who survived all my mistakes and still loves me. Still speaks to me.

The US celebrates what we call “Mother’s Day” today. People extol the virtues of mothering, praise mothers, pamper mothers—I’m all for it.

Mothering is a hard, and sometimes thankless job.

But mothering is so much more than that. It’s a privilege, a joy—one I never could have imagined back when, in my seventeen-year-old wisdom, I decided kids weren’t for me.

And Mother’s Day, for me, is also a day of gratitude. It’s not about the gifts (until recent years, I never got any. And I never cared that I didn’t).

Okay, tangent. Last night, #4daughter inveigled two men we know to come and install a screen door for me for Mother’s Day. I may not have cared that I didn’t get gifts back when, but I love my new screen door today!

Where was I? Oh, gratitude. Right.

One thing I learned to do years ago was take a moment on Mother’s Day to step outside the “honoring” thing and give that honor where it’s due.

The Lord.

God blessed me with nine beautiful, brilliant, amazing kids. I can’t tell you how proud and blessed I am by each of them. They’ve all gone on to do things I could never have imagined that Thursday morning in April of 1988 when I stared down into the face of a little baby I was terrified to even change.

That baby is a mother now—has five amazing kids of her own.

She’s endured more than almost anyone I know. Life-or-death situations, financial struggles, living and somehow thriving daily with a husband who has severe clinical depression, and working harder than even my own mother.

She inspires people wherever she goes. For the record, she’s much better at this mothering thing than I am.

And I think it’s really important to say this right here and right now.

mothering

Note: links may be affiliate links that provide me with a small commission at no extra expense to you.

How Can You Praise the Lord When You Made Every Mistake in the Book?

Because Jesus redeems more than souls. That first daughter of mine is the amazing person she is despite my faults and failures, despite every mistake I ever made. She’s who she is because of what the Lord has done in her life—because she has yielded herself to serving Him always.

That’s the one thing I did right, you know. I taught her about Jesus. And He did the rest.

Speaking of Mother’s Day…

I did a fun thing…

The Complete Aggie's Inheritance Collection

Yep! All four books in one

For extra fun, take the Rockland Mom Quiz!

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Comments

  1. Tarcher says

    May 13, 2019 at 7:55 pm

    I’m Rockland mom Cara, hit the nail on the head. Interesting.
    I love your Mother ‘s Day post. I could see the same scene playing out in my family! Thank you for your beautiful stories.

    Reply
  2. Faith says

    May 13, 2019 at 11:12 am

    That was beautiful and encouraging. I have never lived near to my adult kids until recently. As I visit with them now that we live close, I have apologized for or made comments about mistakes I feel I made as a mother. You know what they say most of the time? “I don’t remember that!” I’m learning not to feel guilty or punish myself now and hopefully to forgive myself as God has forgiven me for my shortcomings as a mom. God has worked in their lives and they all love and serve the Lord! What a blessing! Now even most of my grandchildren have given their lives to the Lord (I’m praying for the others). I hope your readers will be as blessed as I was to “hear” your story. And thanks for the freebie!
    As for the Quiz–Kelly

    Reply
  3. 22annie says

    May 12, 2019 at 5:22 pm

    I thought about the answers long and hard. I do believe Kari was a perfect choice. Thank you for the opportunity to stop and take stock. My sons are grown, godly men. That has nothing to do with me or their dad. They made the choice to serve him. Love reading your stuff and thank you for the freebie books.

    Reply
  4. Emma says

    May 12, 2019 at 12:45 pm

    Yesterday was Mother’s Day here in New Zealand! Same weekend, same day of the week–just blame the International Date Line for the one day off. My wonderful children gave me a large mug with a family picture on one side and the verse from Proverbs about “her children and husband calling her blessed” on the other, with all their signatures around it. My boys also built me a 10′ x 40′ greenhouse over the past few weeks, which I also consider a Mother’s Day gift.

    Reply
  5. Shelia Garrison says

    May 12, 2019 at 10:50 am

    Happy Mother’s Day!
    Thank you for the book set.
    I took your quiz and got Emily.
    Really don’t know how that happened, I don’t scrapbook and I’ve only skimmed pinterest a couple times when the app first came out. ?

    Reply
    • Chautona Havig says

      May 12, 2019 at 2:38 pm

      Just goes to show I need to rewrite the solution. 😀

      Reply
  6. Amelia says

    May 12, 2019 at 9:54 am

    I took the quiz and got Kelly!

    Reply
  7. Vicki Hancock says

    May 12, 2019 at 8:05 am

    I got Kari. I was expecting to get told to not bother with kids. Lol. I already have 3 all grown. Two grew up but one is teetering. I did the best I could and love them all regardless!!!

    Reply
  8. Andrea Rossignol says

    May 12, 2019 at 6:50 am

    I took the quiz and got Kelly! I feel honored, since she’s somewhat based on your daughter!

    Reply
    • Chautona Havig says

      May 12, 2019 at 2:38 pm

      Personality wise, she is definitely Challice!

      Reply
  9. Lorel Kline says

    May 12, 2019 at 6:32 am

    Thanks for sharing. You sound like an amazing mom. I only had 2 wonderful kids but through them 8 amazing grandkids. 5 with my daughter the youngest son will be 5 on May 30 and her oldest daughter 19 on June 12th. I could not be more blessed and I get to watch them grow up as we all live on 13 acres together. Thanks for the books. I can’t wait to read the series. Wishing you a blessed Mother’s Day. God is good.

    Reply
    • Chautona Havig says

      May 12, 2019 at 2:39 pm

      Happy Mother’s Day to you, too!

      Reply

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The Because Fiction Podcast

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Taking the pulse of Christian fiction

Episode 155: Chatting with Heather Day Gilbert & Jen Cudmore
byChautona Havig

To Love a Viking by Heather Day Gilbert and Jen Cudmore has been released, and I got to chat with them about it last week. Guys, this series!  If the Christian influence on Viking history isn’t enough, what about adventure, fight scenes, and romance that won’t make you blush? How about that a damsel is in distress and… gets rescued by another woman instead of the stereotypical DUDE! Listen in!

Note: links may be affiliate links that provide me with a small commission at no extra expense to you.

Are You Ready for an Exciting New Viking Series from 2 Great Authors?

 

One of the biggest surprises I recall from researching books by different authors was that the cozy mystery and suspense author I liked and respected, Heather Day Gilbert, had also written historical Viking books! I made the erroneous assumption that they were romance and skipped them (for the time being… I knew I’d read them some day), and then something happened.

A few months ago, I saw this cover.  With Heather’s name on it.  And some other gal I hadn’t heard of–Jen Cudmore.  What is this deliciousness?  The cover was AMAZING… not stereotypical nor was it inauthentic.  It was just GOOD (not to mention gorgeous) and with the Celtic frame (the Vikings did go over to Scotland/Ireland after all), I just felt like it hit all the sweet spots.

Well… the book is here, folks.  And I’ve got a copy in my hot little hands.  No, really. It’s July. And I live in the desert.  My hands are totally hot and in totally all the wrong ways. Just throwin’ that out there.

Anyway, Heather and Jen chatted with me about To Love a Viking, and oh my!  This book sounds fabulous. We know Viking women were strong. Even those that weren’t warriors had to survive Nordic winters. Ergo, strong.  But what about strong enough to build a new society with people they’d once fought against. Oh, and rescue a damsel in distress #BecauseYeah!

I’m ready to dive in to To Love a Viking myself, and I hope you’ll grab a copy, too. It promises to be incredible.

To Love a Viking by Heather Day Gilbert and Jen Cudmore

Get swept up in an enthralling new romance series featuring women who rule the hearts of Viking men.

ELLISIF Forced into a financially advantageous marriage that spirals into a nightmare, Ellisif cannot help but imagine what might have been and ache for what was lost. The only lights in her life are her daughters and the friendships she’s forged with the household servants.

Though seven years have passed since Ellisif wed another man, Dagar still cannot forget the woman who captured his youthful heart. As the Viking warrior battles for his country’s future, he finds himself entangled in a personal war for Ellisif’s freedom that could cost his family their reputation and standing with the king. If he risks all, can he save the woman whose face still haunts his dreams? And if given another chance, will she choose him?

INARA Escaped slave Inara is determined to start a new life. Under the guidance of warrior and shipbuilder Håkon, her sword skill grows, as does her confidence that the Viking men will accept her as a warrior in her own right.

When she is selected to lead a perilous rescue mission to protect Ellisif, Inara finds herself blindsided by feelings for Håkon…and by threats to her freedom far closer than she feared. As dreams and desires collide, she wrestles against the lies holding her captive. Can she conquer her doubts before all that she’s hoped for slips from her hands?

Written by award-winning historical author Heather Day Gilbert and fresh voice Jen Cudmore, two love stories entwine in this sweeping Viking-era romance, the first novel in the Tavland Vikings series.

You can find out more about the series and the authors on Heather’s WEBSITE.

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Episode 155: Chatting with Heather Day Gilbert & Jen Cudmore
Episode 155: Chatting with Heather Day Gilbert & Jen Cudmore
July 1, 2022
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Episode 154: A Chat with Romantic Suspense Author, Sami A. Abrams
June 28, 2022
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Episode 153: A Chat with Historical Author, Tracie Peterson
June 21, 2022
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Episode 152: A Chat with Contemporary Romance Author, Amy Anguish
June 14, 2022
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Episode 151: A Chat with Christian Romance Author, Carrie Padgett
June 10, 2022
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Episode 150: A Chat with Mystery/Thriller Author, Steven C Harms
June 7, 2022
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Episode 149: A Chat with Jennifer Sienes about Night Songs (and more!)
June 3, 2022
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Episode 148: A Chat with Author, James R. Hannibal
May 31, 2022
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Episode 147: A Chat with Biblical Fiction Author, Jubilee Lipsey
May 27, 2022
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Episode 146: A Chat about The Sweet Life by Suzanne Woods Fisher
May 24, 2022
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