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Chautona Havig

Chautona Havig

Using story to connect YOU to the Master Storyteller

How Can You Praise God When You Made Every Mistake in the Book?

by Chautona Havig · 12 Comments

Mothering is a hard job sometimes, but it's so much more rewarding than anyone ever told me back when I was sure I didn't want anything to do with it! via @chautonahavig

The day I really began my mothering journey… It was a Wednesday. I could never forget that for reasons you’ll see in a minute or two. I worked at a local Chinese delivery place—Mandarin Express.

My shift began at ten in the morning, and I got off at five. Sometime around two or so, after I’d had to sit down for the third or fourth time, I clocked out. My boss protested. I said, “Look, I’m not working. I can’t roll five egg rolls without having to sit down. I’ll stay in case you have to leave and take an order, but I’m not going to get paid not to work.”

mothering

She agreed. Like she had a choice. For the record? That should have been our first clue. For those who don’t know me, I take orders; I don’t give them.

After getting home and taking a long, hot shower, I got dressed and headed off to Bible study. That’s when the fever hit. I thought I had the flu coming on and almost left church. One of the older women told my birth coach, “She’ll have that baby tonight or tomorrow.”

My coach went home and draped her car’s seats in black plastic trash bags. Unaware that my fate had been sealed by the voice of wisdom, I went home and crashed on the living room couch. At about ten o’clock, I got up to use the bathroom and my water broke.

Score one for Mrs. Shrewsberry.

At that point, I did three things. First, I called my birth coach. Polly promised to come right over. That’s when I learned that I could blame Mrs. Shrewsberry for my current labor predicament. It’s also when I had my first contraction. Yay.

Then I called my doctor. I let the service know that we’d be there in about two hours (after all, it was around 90 miles away).

That done, and having fully soaked the living room carpet by that point (that should have been a clue how messy this mothering thing would be), I went to inform my mother who was in the shower. She shut off the water, grabbed a towel, and started to step out.

I suggested she rinse the soap from her hair.

That still makes me laugh when I think of it. My unrufflable mother… got ruffled. Ha!

The trip from Ridgecrest to Apple Valley: uneventful.

Everything shifted the moment I arrived at the hospital, though.

Look, I could go into details—things like how the doctor made me have a caudal when I didn’t want one, or how my mom freaked out (in her way by silently turning away and leaving the room) when I had a bad contraction, or even how that baby refused to come out and did serious damage to me in their efforts to extract her from me without a c-section…

mothering
This is not a picture of my baby… but it is an excellent representation of what I thought of my 11-hour labor (which I know is short for a first, but it doesn’t feel short while you’re in it)

Okay, I have to throw something in on that one. Having had eight children after #1daughter, I happen to know that I would have done a whole lot better if they’d put me up on my hands and knees instead of flat on my back so I was pushing uphill. There. Just had to get that off my chest.

Instead, I got a boatload of stitches and orders not to eat anything with small seeds for six weeks. For the record, accidentally eating a sesame bun burger proved why. Ouch!

Then it happened…

The baby was born. 

Polly and I sat there, breathless, waiting. I’ll admit, my fingers were crossed. I wanted it to be a girl so badly I couldn’t stand it. Polly and Mom wanted a boy.

They cleaned up the baby, and we still waited.

Look, it felt like five minutes passed. It was probably one or two at the most. But finally, Polly did what I never could have back then. She said, “So what is it!!??!!??”

“It’s a girl.”

I won.

Then the scariest and most wonderful thing happened. A nurse on my left asked for my right arm—she had to lean across a gurney to do it. I gave it to her. And in one movement, she pulled me onto my stomach onto that gurney.

Panic city for about 3.2 seconds.

Then relief as I realized I could lay on my stomach again, and as warmth enveloped me. They’d put blankets in a warmer and draped me in them… all toasty.

Seriously, that is the only thing about that birth (aside from the baby, of course) that was superior to any of my others.

I got to hold the baby a couple of hours later.

I’d never planned to have children, but she was the child the Lord used to prove me wrong about that idea. She’s the child who made me a mother—that firstborn who survived all my mistakes and still loves me. Still speaks to me.

The US celebrates what we call “Mother’s Day” today. People extol the virtues of mothering, praise mothers, pamper mothers—I’m all for it.

Mothering is a hard, and sometimes thankless job.

But mothering is so much more than that. It’s a privilege, a joy—one I never could have imagined back when, in my seventeen-year-old wisdom, I decided kids weren’t for me.

And Mother’s Day, for me, is also a day of gratitude. It’s not about the gifts (until recent years, I never got any. And I never cared that I didn’t).

Okay, tangent. Last night, #4daughter inveigled two men we know to come and install a screen door for me for Mother’s Day. I may not have cared that I didn’t get gifts back when, but I love my new screen door today!

Where was I? Oh, gratitude. Right.

One thing I learned to do years ago was take a moment on Mother’s Day to step outside the “honoring” thing and give that honor where it’s due.

The Lord.

God blessed me with nine beautiful, brilliant, amazing kids. I can’t tell you how proud and blessed I am by each of them. They’ve all gone on to do things I could never have imagined that Thursday morning in April of 1988 when I stared down into the face of a little baby I was terrified to even change.

That baby is a mother now—has five amazing kids of her own.

She’s endured more than almost anyone I know. Life-or-death situations, financial struggles, living and somehow thriving daily with a husband who has severe clinical depression, and working harder than even my own mother.

She inspires people wherever she goes. For the record, she’s much better at this mothering thing than I am.

And I think it’s really important to say this right here and right now.

mothering

Note: links may be affiliate links that provide me with a small commission at no extra expense to you.

How Can You Praise the Lord When You Made Every Mistake in the Book?

Because Jesus redeems more than souls. That first daughter of mine is the amazing person she is despite my faults and failures, despite every mistake I ever made. She’s who she is because of what the Lord has done in her life—because she has yielded herself to serving Him always.

That’s the one thing I did right, you know. I taught her about Jesus. And He did the rest.

Speaking of Mother’s Day…

I did a fun thing…

The Complete Aggie's Inheritance Collection

Yep! All four books in one

For extra fun, take the Rockland Mom Quiz!

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Filed Under: New Release Tagged With: Aggie's Inheritance

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Comments

  1. Tarcher says

    May 13, 2019 at 7:55 pm

    I’m Rockland mom Cara, hit the nail on the head. Interesting.
    I love your Mother ‘s Day post. I could see the same scene playing out in my family! Thank you for your beautiful stories.

    Reply
  2. Faith says

    May 13, 2019 at 11:12 am

    That was beautiful and encouraging. I have never lived near to my adult kids until recently. As I visit with them now that we live close, I have apologized for or made comments about mistakes I feel I made as a mother. You know what they say most of the time? “I don’t remember that!” I’m learning not to feel guilty or punish myself now and hopefully to forgive myself as God has forgiven me for my shortcomings as a mom. God has worked in their lives and they all love and serve the Lord! What a blessing! Now even most of my grandchildren have given their lives to the Lord (I’m praying for the others). I hope your readers will be as blessed as I was to “hear” your story. And thanks for the freebie!
    As for the Quiz–Kelly

    Reply
  3. 22annie says

    May 12, 2019 at 5:22 pm

    I thought about the answers long and hard. I do believe Kari was a perfect choice. Thank you for the opportunity to stop and take stock. My sons are grown, godly men. That has nothing to do with me or their dad. They made the choice to serve him. Love reading your stuff and thank you for the freebie books.

    Reply
  4. Emma says

    May 12, 2019 at 12:45 pm

    Yesterday was Mother’s Day here in New Zealand! Same weekend, same day of the week–just blame the International Date Line for the one day off. My wonderful children gave me a large mug with a family picture on one side and the verse from Proverbs about “her children and husband calling her blessed” on the other, with all their signatures around it. My boys also built me a 10′ x 40′ greenhouse over the past few weeks, which I also consider a Mother’s Day gift.

    Reply
  5. Shelia Garrison says

    May 12, 2019 at 10:50 am

    Happy Mother’s Day!
    Thank you for the book set.
    I took your quiz and got Emily.
    Really don’t know how that happened, I don’t scrapbook and I’ve only skimmed pinterest a couple times when the app first came out. ?

    Reply
    • Chautona Havig says

      May 12, 2019 at 2:38 pm

      Just goes to show I need to rewrite the solution. 😀

      Reply
  6. Amelia says

    May 12, 2019 at 9:54 am

    I took the quiz and got Kelly!

    Reply
  7. Vicki Hancock says

    May 12, 2019 at 8:05 am

    I got Kari. I was expecting to get told to not bother with kids. Lol. I already have 3 all grown. Two grew up but one is teetering. I did the best I could and love them all regardless!!!

    Reply
  8. Andrea Rossignol says

    May 12, 2019 at 6:50 am

    I took the quiz and got Kelly! I feel honored, since she’s somewhat based on your daughter!

    Reply
    • Chautona Havig says

      May 12, 2019 at 2:38 pm

      Personality wise, she is definitely Challice!

      Reply
  9. Lorel Kline says

    May 12, 2019 at 6:32 am

    Thanks for sharing. You sound like an amazing mom. I only had 2 wonderful kids but through them 8 amazing grandkids. 5 with my daughter the youngest son will be 5 on May 30 and her oldest daughter 19 on June 12th. I could not be more blessed and I get to watch them grow up as we all live on 13 acres together. Thanks for the books. I can’t wait to read the series. Wishing you a blessed Mother’s Day. God is good.

    Reply
    • Chautona Havig says

      May 12, 2019 at 2:39 pm

      Happy Mother’s Day to you, too!

      Reply

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The Because Fiction Podcast

The Because Fiction Podcast
The Because Fiction Podcast

Taking the pulse of Christian fiction

Episode 448: A Chat with Nancy Naigle
byChautona Havig

 I fell in love with Nancy’s writing with The Shell Collector. Imagine my joy when I discovered she has a SEQUEL! Eeep! Listen in and discover which characters you’ll find in To Light the Way Forward and what’s coming next for one of America’s favorite authors!

note: links may be affiliate links that provide me with a small commission at no extra expense to you.

It’s been three years since Nancy and I had a chance to talk, and in that time, she’s been BUSY.  So in addition to falling in love with her character, Tug, and wanting to give him his own story, she’s written a small-town duet (and maybe we talked her into a third?) as well as a romcom duo!  Think we can talk her into a third of that series as well?  Because… SPOILER ALERT… we’re getting a third Shell Collector Series book, too! EEEP!

To Light the Way Forward by Nancy Naigle

A novel of overcoming deep loss, taking risks, and learning that life—and love—often surprises you when you least expect it, from the USA Today bestselling author of The Shell Collector. “Bringing to life characters you can’t help but fall in love with, Nancy Naigle goes straight to the heart with this story of tragedy turned to triumph. A poignant reminder to never give up hope.”—Sheila Roberts, author of The Best Life Book Club Feeling adrift after the loss of her husband, Rosemary sets out to visit an old friend on Whelk’s Island, undeterred by the threat of a hurricane. Before the storm hits, she finds herself at Tug’s Diner where she quickly connects with the owner, Tug. But the storm destroys the diner, compounding Tug’s grief from losing his love the previous year. The longer Rosemary stays, the more she sees Tug’s deep sadness and resolves to help him. Together with Tug and friends Amanda and Paul, they all pitch in to help the close-knit community recover and rebuild. As Amanda and Paul reconnect after losing touch during the storm, their plans to take things slow seem increasingly impractical. While Rosemary and Tug help the young couple navigate their relationship, they also find themselves building a friendship that begins to restore them both. But can that friendship convince them that love is possible for anyone who’s willing to take a risk—even those who never hoped they’d find it again?

Learn more about Nancy on her WEBSITEand follow her on GoodReads and BookBub.

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