I was always an inquisitive kid. Oh, who am I kidding? I’ll be asking irritating and irrelevant questions until the day they slap duct tape over my mouth in the nursing home and shove me out a six-story window. But I’ll be asking, “Wwwwhhhyyy….????” as I fall to my death. Trust me on this.
Have you ever wished you could ask questions of someone– someone not alive, or you’ve never met? You know. Impossible questions. I have. I thought I’d share a few. Just because I thought it might be fun.
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So here are some of my questions.
- Adam- What kind of wimp are you, anyway?
- Jane Austen- What am I missing in Edmund? I love him. I do. But somehow when I compare his blindness to Roger Hamley’s, I can’t help but see him come up wanting.
- Dad- Want to go cook pancakes over a fire?
- Hallmark- You had a good run of movies there– What the Deaf Man Heard, Follow the Stars Home, Magic of Ordinary Days… then you started doing the Love Comes Softly series. And that was ok too. However… what happened after that? Get with the program!
- Twiggy- Are you satisfied?
- Noemi- Did you know we’re the three-legged peoples?
- Audrey Hepburn- How can we bring you back in style?
- Elephant on Noah’s Ark- Really? You couldn’t have stomped that spider? That scorpion? That snake? That mouse? Really?
- Betty Smith- Just how fictionalized was A Tree Grows in Brooklyn. I know it’s fiction. I know it’s inspired by your life, but how much blurring of that line is there really?
- Kevin Havig- Did you know that you are brilliant and handsome too?
- William Shakespeare- What play didn’t you have time to write?
- California Joe- Why weren’t you more like the romanticized guy in the song and less like a jerk?
- Napa California- Couldn’t you have lost at least one harvest to early frost when I need you to?
- Jepthtah- What were you not thinking?
- Dad Havig- Did I ever tell you how amazing you are?
- Chautona- Are you going to get to work now or what?