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Chautona Havig

Chautona Havig

Using story to connect YOU to the Master Storyteller

How to Avoid Paper Cuts in 3 Simple Steps

by Chautona Havig · 4 Comments

Bad Things, Small Packages--that's about right. I mean, paper cuts are bad things--very small, very bad things. Especially when plural. Find out why! via @chautonahavig

The next message in our Facebook conversation prompted a grin. She wrote, “I’m working on Bad Things, Small Packages, and I’ve got to go write a scene—paperwork for Brent.”

“Make sure you give him a paper cut.”

“I will.”

A second later, I added, “Make it two—with that much paperwork, he’d get two.”

Or, at least that’s how I imagine it. I don’t actually remember the conversation. Okay, let me back up a bit.

Yesterday, I finished Bad Things, Small Packages. I was reading on Kindle Unlimited, so I always make sure to flip to the very end of the book. The author gets maximum payment that way. And considering payment is like .004 cents a page, I want her to get every fraction of a penny she can. (and I didn’t buy them for Kindle because I’ve got an order in for a signed paperback set.)

It appeared. The acknowledgments. First came a few names I didn’t know, followed by a few I did. I swiped left, and there it was. Reading something like, “To Chautona Havig for the double paper cut,” or close enough for government work. I didn’t have a clue what she meant.

So, I did what any cool, sophisticated, and super-smart author does. Okay, I did what any confused, sleep-deprived reader does. I asked. And then she told me about that conversation—one that is vaguely familiar now. Vaguely.

the accidental cases of Emily Abbott bad things small packages

Something else fun and cool happened in Bad Things, Small Packages.

Remember how in THIS REVIEW I mentioned it was kind of like Get Smart? Well, she references it in this book. I felt downright smartical.

This book (and the rest of the series) has what every good cheesy spy novel should—gadgets, codes, an arch-nemesis… and even a lair!

And of course—lots of trouble. Great, heaping gobs of trouble.

Still, between car chases, explosions, and bomb threats, it can be a dangerous business—especially with those paper cuts. In fact, I’ve got advice for Brent on how to avoid them suckers.

How to Avoid Paper Cuts in 3 Simple Steps bad things small packages

Note: links may be affiliate links that provide me with a small commission at no extra expense to you.

How to Avoid Paper Cuts in 3 Simple Steps

  1. Don’t pull the gun until you know who needs to be on the other end of it.
  2. Adopt a hobby that creates tough callouses on your fingers.
  3. If you can’t avoid filling out a ream of paperwork, wear latex gloves while you do. They’ll be shredded by the time you’re done, but your hands should come out relatively unscathed—unless you’re allergic to latex. Bonus hint: if you’re allergic to latex, get yourself tested for allergies to bananas, kiwi, chestnuts, and avocados.

Of course, that’s just for spies. For book lovers, read on Kindle. You might get carpal tunnel syndrome from all that finger swiping, but you won’t get paper cuts.

I know this doesn’t have anything to do with the actual review of the book, but I had to share it. After all, I’m responsible for some serious paper-cuttage.

And that doesn’t tell you what I actually thought of Bad Things, Small Packages—not really.

I loved that you can now see the ties each book is creating to the others without once feeling like you didn’t get a complete story. Once you read it, you’ll understand why I hated that I didn’t get any of that chicken soup. I laughed like nobody’s business at cat lady, and I could have cried when Emily and Brent missed something right in front of their faces. ( I also loved that part, so… take it for what it’s worth!)

binge: signed, sealed, delivered bad things small packagesI still recommend The Accidental Cases of Emily Abbott series for people who don’t take themselves or their fiction too seriously. This series does for spy novels what Signed, Sealed, Delivered did for the Dead Letter Office. Maybe it’s not totally realistic, but it’s totally enjoyable. Step into whimsy and buckle up! You’re in for a ride.

Oh, and stay tuned for tomorrow and Emily undercover as… Mary Poppins! Sorta.

Bad things small packagesTitle: Bad Things, Small Packages

Author: Perry Kirkpatrick

Synopsis: Head colds are bad… but the contents of the memory card are worse.

Emily has planned a quiet, restful evening at home, hoping to ward off the sniffles that might make her miss work. But the microSD card Brent stashed on her car is making more trouble than either of them expected. Getting it out of Phoenix and to the decryption genius before it self-destructs is going to take both of them.

But someone is after them and the card, and Emily discovers an eerie connection to her first accidental mission. To make matters worse, ICS is in danger and someone’s looking for Emily.

It’s going to be a long night.

The Accidental Cases of Emily Abbott is a series of clean spy-comedies set in Phoenix, Arizona.

1. Red Rover, Red Rover – (Review HERE)
2. Plan to Fail – (Review HERE) 
3. Bad Things, Small Packages –
4. Tutor, Nanny, Spit-up, Spy – (Review HERE)
5. A-Spying We Will Go – (Review HERE)
6. Once Upon a Dime – August 26, 2019  (Review coming)

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Comments

  1. Joy Hunt says

    July 17, 2019 at 6:21 pm

    Yes, please. Just sent myself a Kindle sample.

    Reply
  2. Lila Diller says

    July 17, 2019 at 7:54 am

    Oh, and I forgot to ask: Can these be read as standalones, or do they need to be read in order?

    Reply
    • Chautona Havig says

      July 17, 2019 at 3:10 pm

      I would definitely read in order. I think it’s going to be important. She does keep you up to date on anything that might be relevant to the story, so you COULD jump in, but I think you’d miss the fun growth of a friendship and the background to what you wouldn’t know were inside jokes unless you had been reading in order.

      Reply
  3. Lila Diller says

    July 17, 2019 at 7:52 am

    You’re so hilarious!! I love this so much it actually makes me want to read this, and I never read mysteries!! 🙂

    Reply

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The Because Fiction Podcast

The Because Fiction Podcast
The Because Fiction Podcast

Taking the pulse of Christian fiction

Episode 264: A Chat with Romance Author, Sarah Monzon
byChautona Havig

Finally getting a chance to chat with Sarah Monzon was a total delight, and learning all about her latest release, All’s Fair in Love and Christmas was equally awesome.  My copy is here and waiting for me to dive into the battle of the celebrations!  EEEP! Listen in to see what that even means!

Note: I sound like I’m underwater. We heard it during our interview, but I couldn’t make it behave and couldn’t fix it. Sorry!

Note: links may be affiliate links that provide me with a small commission at no extra expense to you.

How Does an Intense Christmas Competition Lead to Love?

All’s Fair in Love and Christmas has so much going for it that I don’t know where to start! Fun mom who made our heroine’s childhood Christmases an international delight without ever leaving home?  Check!  Social anxiety adding to the stress of competing for a promotion?  Check?  Romcom hilarity?  Check, check?  And add to all that Sarah’s wonderful writing and delightful characterization?  I’m all in.

We also chatted about why she chose to write about a woman with social anxiety, her preferred reading methods, and some of my favorite books by her. For a refresher, those are The Isaac Project, 12 Days of Snowmen, and Book Nerds & Boyfriends (a collection of three novellas).

All’s Fair in Love and Christmas by Sarah Monzon

Two workplace rivals. One festive competition. And a romance that upends it all.

Every December two things are guaranteed for graphic designer Mackenzie Graham–Christmas celebrations and the annual promotion at her workplace. Those two things are by no means mutually exclusive. In fact, the better an employee is at harnessing the Christmas spirit, the more likely they’ll win the new job. With her social anxiety, Mackenzie never thought she’d be a contender in her company’s holiday competition, so how exactly has she found herself dueling her workplace crush with wrapping paper tubes and using tinsel as her weapon of choice for a much-needed raise?

Jeremy Fletcher’s life is meticulously planned out, including how to win this year’s promotion at work. Not only will the new position fulfill some of his career goals, but as a single guardian to his twin niece and nephew, he needs the salary increase to support his family. Jeremy has barely noticed Mackenzie Graham around the office, but now that she’s his rival, he can’t stop thinking about her. Her quirkiness intrigues him, and he’s afraid that if he can’t get his head on straight, the promotion isn’t the only thing he’ll end up losing to Mackenzie.

“Inspirational rom-com readers are going to love this one.”–BETHANY TURNER, bestselling author of The Do-Over

You can learn more about Sarah on her WEBSITE.  Also follow her on BookBub and GoodReads.

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Episode 264: A Chat with Romance Author, Sarah Monzon
Episode 264: A Chat with Romance Author, Sarah Monzon
September 26, 2023
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Episode 263: A Chat about The Love Script w/ Toni Shiloh
September 23, 2023
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Episode 262: Chatting about The Legacy of Longdale Manor with Carrie Turansky
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Episode 261: Chatting with Christian Youth Fiction Author, Candice Yamnitz
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Episode 260: A Chat with Rachel Hauck
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Episode 259: A Chat with Debut Author, Laura Conaway
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Episode 258: A Louisiana Christmas to Remember
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Episode 257: A Chat with Fantasy Author, N. Ford
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Episode 256: A Chat about Summer in the Spotlight w/ Liz Johnson
August 29, 2023
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Episode 255: A Chat about He Should Have Told the Bees
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