The next message in our Facebook conversation prompted a grin. She wrote, “I’m working on Bad Things, Small Packages, and I’ve got to go write a scene—paperwork for Brent.”
“Make sure you give him a paper cut.”
A second later, I added, “Make it two—with that much paperwork, he’d get two.”
Or, at least that’s how I imagine it. I don’t actually remember the conversation. Okay, let me back up a bit.
Yesterday, I finished Bad Things, Small Packages. I was reading on Kindle Unlimited, so I always make sure to flip to the very end of the book. The author gets maximum payment that way. And considering payment is like .004 cents a page, I want her to get every fraction of a penny she can. (and I didn’t buy them for Kindle because I’ve got an order in for a signed paperback set.)
It appeared. The acknowledgments. First came a few names I didn’t know, followed by a few I did. I swiped left, and there it was. Reading something like, “To Chautona Havig for the double paper cut,” or close enough for government work. I didn’t have a clue what she meant.
So, I did what any cool, sophisticated, and super-smart author does. Okay, I did what any confused, sleep-deprived reader does. I asked. And then she told me about that conversation—one that is vaguely familiar now. Vaguely.
Something else fun and cool happened in Bad Things, Small Packages.
Remember how in THIS REVIEW I mentioned it was kind of like Get Smart? Well, she references it in this book. I felt downright smartical.
This book (and the rest of the series) has what every good cheesy spy novel should—gadgets, codes, an arch-nemesis… and even a lair!
And of course—lots of trouble. Great, heaping gobs of trouble.
Still, between car chases, explosions, and bomb threats, it can be a dangerous business—especially with those paper cuts. In fact, I’ve got advice for Brent on how to avoid them suckers.
Note: links may be affiliate links that provide me with a small commission at no extra expense to you.
How to Avoid Paper Cuts in 3 Simple Steps
- Don’t pull the gun until you know who needs to be on the other end of it.
- Adopt a hobby that creates tough callouses on your fingers.
- If you can’t avoid filling out a ream of paperwork, wear latex gloves while you do. They’ll be shredded by the time you’re done, but your hands should come out relatively unscathed—unless you’re allergic to latex. Bonus hint: if you’re allergic to latex, get yourself tested for allergies to bananas, kiwi, chestnuts, and avocados.
Of course, that’s just for spies. For book lovers, read on Kindle. You might get carpal tunnel syndrome from all that finger swiping, but you won’t get paper cuts.
I know this doesn’t have anything to do with the actual review of the book, but I had to share it. After all, I’m responsible for some serious paper-cuttage.
And that doesn’t tell you what I actually thought of Bad Things, Small Packages—not really.
I loved that you can now see the ties each book is creating to the others without once feeling like you didn’t get a complete story. Once you read it, you’ll understand why I hated that I didn’t get any of that chicken soup. I laughed like nobody’s business at cat lady, and I could have cried when Emily and Brent missed something right in front of their faces. ( I also loved that part, so… take it for what it’s worth!)
I still recommend The Accidental Cases of Emily Abbott series for people who don’t take themselves or their fiction too seriously. This series does for spy novels what Signed, Sealed, Delivered did for the Dead Letter Office. Maybe it’s not totally realistic, but it’s totally enjoyable. Step into whimsy and buckle up! You’re in for a ride.
Oh, and stay tuned for tomorrow and Emily undercover as… Mary Poppins! Sorta.
Title: Bad Things, Small Packages
Author: Perry Kirkpatrick
Synopsis: Head colds are bad… but the contents of the memory card are worse.
Emily has planned a quiet, restful evening at home, hoping to ward off the sniffles that might make her miss work. But the microSD card Brent stashed on her car is making more trouble than either of them expected. Getting it out of Phoenix and to the decryption genius before it self-destructs is going to take both of them.
But someone is after them and the card, and Emily discovers an eerie connection to her first accidental mission. To make matters worse, ICS is in danger and someone’s looking for Emily.
It’s going to be a long night.
The Accidental Cases of Emily Abbott is a series of clean spy-comedies set in Phoenix, Arizona.
1. Red Rover, Red Rover – (Review HERE)
2. Plan to Fail – (Review HERE)
3. Bad Things, Small Packages –
4. Tutor, Nanny, Spit-up, Spy – (Review HERE)
5. A-Spying We Will Go – (Review HERE)
6. Once Upon a Dime – August 26, 2019 (Review coming)