• Skip to primary navigation
  • Skip to main content
  • Skip to primary sidebar
  • Skip to footer
  • Home
  • Bio
  • Bookshelf
    • Audio
    • Complete List of Chautona’s Books
    • The Rockland Chronicles
      • The Vintage Wren
      • The Aggie Series
      • The Hartfield Mysteries
      • Sight Unseen Series
        • Sight Unseen Series Archives
      • The Agency Files
      • Christmas Fiction
    • Legacy of the Vines
    • Meddlin’ Madeline
      • Madeline Blog Archive
    • Ballads from the Hearth
      • Ballads from the Hearth Blog Archive
    • Legends of the Vengeance
    • Journey of Dreams
    • Wynnewood
    • Webster’s Bakery
    • The Not-So-Fairy Tales
    • Heart of Warwickshire
  • Start HERE
    • Characters
    • Suggested Reading Order
    • Free Books
  • Blog
  • Contact
  • Podcast
    • Advertising
    • Podcast Guest Information
    • Podcast Interview FAQ
  • Nav Social Menu

    • Email
    • Facebook
    • Instagram
    • Pinterest
    • Twitter
    • YouTube
  • Bonus
  • Speaking
  • New & Coming
Chautona Havig

Chautona Havig

Using story to connect YOU to the Master Storyteller

What Should You Do When You Fail To Show Compassion?

by Chautona Havig · 1 Comment

Male. Latino-Black. Average height. Cornrows in his hair. Muscular. Pierced ears—gauges. “Muscle shirt.” Pants held on only by the grace of God.

I’ll call him Joey. I think he looks like a Joey. Not a cute little boy, Joey—a cool dude Joey. I picture him with friends Marco and Ty.

He may not be a little boy, Joey, but he was once. Once upon a time, he was a small boy, about three or four years old with big eyes and a killer smile that charmed his mother and looked just like his father.

Joey still has big eyes—today they were red with weeping. His lip quivered as he rushed back into the elevator after getting off when I got on. He thought it was the lobby.

You know, his lip quivered when he was a little boy too. He probably ran faster than his feet could keep up with and bam! Down he went. His lip quivered, his eyes filled with tears—just like today—and he ran to his daddy’s arms for comfort.

I hope today, Joey ran for his Father’s arms. It’s the only real comfort. I’ve learned a lot about that lately.

I have to admit. Usually, I wouldn’t have noticed Joey, or if I did, I have a feeling that I would not have really seen him. Today, I saw him and after feeling awkward around someone so different from me, I felt compassion. Lord, give me more compassion more often!

I’m learning something new through this whole experience. I am learning that hospitals are a great “equalizer.” Rich, poor, white, black, green. Small town gal, big city dude, young, old… it doesn’t matter. Pain hits us all and we gather at the great center of physical hope.

I don’t know why he was hurting.

You see, I didn’t ask. I didn’t even ask if he was okay. I totally failed to show compassion for another hurting human.

Instead, I was busy thinking about hospitals and the commonality of pain that I never really looked at the hurting man in front of me—or rather, I looked at him rather than spoke to him—invested in him as a person. He probably would have brushed me off. I wouldn’t blame him. What kind of comfort is a total stranger?

However, shouldn’t he have had the choice to do that?

I’m learning a lot about myself in this hospital experience—much of it stuff I didn’t want to know about me.

One thing I’ve learned is that I’m very self-centered—even more than I previously thought. I learned that I’m even more… well, I guess prejudiced than I thought. Though I might not be racist in the traditional definition of the word—couldn’t care less about social status, ethnicity, or even if a person agrees with me politically or religiously.

However, I know that when someone looks like they might be “rough around the edges,” sometimes, I avoid them. I know it because I’ve seen me do it lately. I’ve learned that I will let my personal issues control me rather than do what is right. It’s frustrating to realize I didn’t learn THESE lessons as well as I’d thought.

I’m also learning that I’ll allow myself to ponder what makes things happen rather than be the one who does make those things happen. Sometimes, I’ll observe instead of show compassion. I will laugh and joke with a nurse and a security guard rather than extend a little sympathy and ask, “Are you okay?”

That, folks, is not okay.

I’m ashamed of myself.

I keep wondering about him now. Convenient, isn’t it? Wonder about it after there’s nothing I can do?

Oh, I can see me tomorrow. I see him again and instead of deciding to show compassion, I’ll get so caught up in the implausibility of seeing him again that I don’t bother to say, even once, “I’m praying for you.” Convenient.

This disgusts me. As much as I want to convince myself that I would do something different, I probably won’t. Instead, I will pray for him now, of course, and I know that the Lord will hear my prayers.

I know that there may be a real benefit to Joey and his loved one, but Joey won’t know that some freaky gal from another town is praying for him. He won’t have that confidence that he isn’t alone in his pain.

No, he’ll just go through the lobby again, down the corridor, and let the door swing open while he strolls out into the stifling heat—again. He’ll walk to his car, alone, again. And again, no one will have said a kind word—or if they do (Lord, please let someone do the right thing), it probably won’t have been me.

I’m sorry, Joey. I’m so sorry.

Originally posted on my old blog on September 4, 2011.  Reposted 5/2/2019

What Should You Do When You Fail To Show Compassion?

I’m going to give you three things I learned to do to retrain me to show compassion after that experience.  Because you know what? I have learned a lot in the past eight years.

First—Repent.

Seriously.  Sometimes I think we get so caught up in “fixing” things we don’t do the basic thing.  I remember looking for “Joey” everywhere the next day, as if I could make up for what I hadn’t done when I should have.  After that, I remember going to my car at lunch, turning on the AC, and confessing my sin of self-centeredness. I asked forgiveness.  Then I did the scary thing.

Second—Pray for opportunities to grow.

Yep. I did.  And I got them.  Not right away, not how I expected to, but I did. In time, I became a regular at Denny’s.  I learned compassion and forbearance with drunks.  Trust me, they need both.  And a good dose of coffee.  And pancakes, of course.  They always need those pancakes.

Now I get them at the Lighthouse when homeless people come in with stories that’ll break your heart.  But that’s a story for another day.

Third—Remember what’s most important.

People.  Outside of the Lord God Himself, people are more important.  More important than your deadline, more important than your errand, more important than the car they just destroyed with their carelessness, more important than your reputation.  They’re people. God’s creation.  He died for them.

When we show compassion to anyone, it’s an offering to Him—God Almighty.  The Lord Jesus.

Truly, I say to you, to the extent that you did it to one of these brothers of Mine, even the least of them, you did it to Me.” Matthew 25:40

Finally, I can’t write this without adding my favorite verse:

Therefore, to one who knows the right thing to do and does not do it, to him it is sin.” James 4:17

Share72
Pin
Tweet
Email
73Shares
Share
Pin
Tweet
Email
73Shares

Related

Filed Under: General Information

Previous Post: « Is True Love Overrated in the Fiction Genre?
Next Post: What Happens When a Christian Doesn’t “Look” Like One? »

Reader Interactions

Leave a Reply Cancel reply

You have to agree to the comment policy.

Or, you can subscribe without commenting.

Leave a Reply Cancel reply

You have to agree to the comment policy.

Comments

  1. Karin says

    May 2, 2019 at 11:27 am

    Wow – just, wow. What a wonderful lesson for all of us.

    Reply

Primary Sidebar

The Because Fiction Podcast

The Because Fiction Podcast
The Because Fiction Podcast

Taking the pulse of Christian fiction

Episode 162: A Chat with Author, Nancy Naigle
byChautona Havig

Hey, we’re back after a couple of weeks of vacation, and boy did I need it. And, have I got a fabulous interview for you. Nancy Naigle and I talked about her books, her most recent release, What Remains True as well as her Christmas books and the one I’m most anxious to read, The Shell Collector. Listen in and learn about what Nancy says about this bet she has going on in What Remains True. Great stuff!

Note: links may be affiliate links that provide me with a small commission at no extra expense to you.

Need a Great Romantic Read to Wind Up Your Summer Reads?

As I said in the podcast, a while back, someone told me I’d LOVE The Shell Collector–one of those people who recommends books you HAVE to read if they say you do.  So I bought it and it’s been sitting on my shelf ever since. Well, now it’s on my GoodReads shelf, and I’m about to start it (and I optimistically thought I’d be done with it by the time this episode released. Oh, me of too much faith in myself and my time management!)

Author of over thirty books, not to mention a bestselling author who also has movies made of her novels (And The Shell Collector has been optioned! EEEP!), Nancy loves to write Christmas books and small-town stories. Seriously, as we talked, I felt like she was talking about me half the time. We’re so very alike in so many ways. It was fun.

Nancy also pointed out that her first books (if you go WAY back) are not Christian fiction and are a bit spicier than she prefers to write and definitely more than she writes today. So be warned there, but she did assure us that they are all closed-door books.

What Remains True by Nancy Naigle

One woman wants to win a bet. One man wants to become a rodeo champion. One little girl may give them both something even better—from USA Today bestselling author Nancy Naigle.

“A commitment-phobic rodeo star and a divorcée with secrets find love in this wholesome romance. . . . As uplifting as it is sweet.”—Publishers Weekly

Working at a little shop on Main Street in a small town is exactly the break that executive Merry Anna Foster needs following her divorce. She’s made a bet with her ex-husband that she can live on the amount of money she’s giving him in alimony. If she can do it, then Kevin will have to stop complaining and leave her alone. But after three months of this new life, will she even want to leave Antler Creek?

Adam Locklear, bull rider and owner of the local feedstore, is having the best year of his rodeo career. He’s also a bit distracted by the pretty new neighbor living in his old bunkhouse. But Adam has no time for matters of the heart. He’s got his future all mapped out, and that future doesn’t involve a woman just yet. It doesn’t involve parenting a little girl either. However, Carly Fowler still suddenly leaves five-year-old Zan—the daughter Adam didn’t know he had—in his care.

Is it possible that the future holds a life even better than what Merry Anna and Adam had each dreamed of? One that includes both tenderness and even love—not just for each other but for Zan too?

You can learn more about Nancy’s books and movies on her WEBSITE.

Oh, and PSST… I’m loving the audiobook of this one!

Like to listen on the go? You can find Because Fiction Podcast at:

  • Apple 
  • Castbox 
  • Google Play
  • Libsyn 
  • RSS
  • Spotify
  • Stitcher
  • Amazon
  • and more!
Episode 162: A Chat with Author, Nancy Naigle
Episode 162: A Chat with Author, Nancy Naigle
August 9, 2022
Chautona Havig
Episode 161: A Chat with Christian Women's Fiction Robin W. Pearson
July 26, 2022
Chautona Havig
Episode 160: A Chat with Liz Johnson about The Last Way Home
July 22, 2022
Chautona Havig
Episode 159: A Chat with Biblical Fiction Author, Mesu Andrews
July 19, 2022
Chautona Havig
A Chat with Historical Christian Fiction Author, Stephanie Landsem
July 12, 2022
Chautona Havig
Episode 157: A Chat with Historical Christian Fiction Author, Lynn Austin
July 8, 2022
Chautona Havig
Episode 156: The Fragrance of Violets by Susan K. Beatty
July 5, 2022
Chautona Havig
Episode 155: Chatting with Heather Day Gilbert & Jen Cudmore
July 1, 2022
Chautona Havig
Episode 154: A Chat with Romantic Suspense Author, Sami A. Abrams
June 28, 2022
Chautona Havig
Episode 153: A Chat with Historical Author, Tracie Peterson
June 21, 2022
Chautona Havig
Search Results placeholder

Join a Reading Challenge

2022 Write Reading Challenge

Love Audio Books?

audio book ad

Check out the Sparrow Island novels. A tiny island with a lot of heart

independence islands series

Featured Books

Finding a Memory

Finding a Memory
Buy This Book Online
Purchase with Paypal
Buy from Amazon Kindle
Buy from Amazon
Finding a Memory
Buy now!

Penelope’s Pursuit

Penelope’s Pursuit
Buy This Book Online
Buy from Amazon Kindle
Buy from Amazon
Purchase with Paypal
Penelope’s Pursuit
Buy now!

The Last Gasp

The Last Gasp
Buy This Book Online
Purchase with Paypal
Buy from Audible.com
Buy from Amazon
Buy from Amazon Kindle
The Last Gasp
Buy now!

Upcoming Posts

Sorry - nothing planned yet!

Or just subscribe to the newsletter

Recent Blog Posts

  • Need a Great Romantic Read to Wind Up Your Summer Reads?
  • Take a Guess: Did We Skip Our Wedding to Avoid Complete Disaster?
  • What’s Better Than a Great Women’s Fiction Novel on a Summer’s Day?

I buy my stickers here! (affiliate)

Custom Stickers, Die Cut Stickers, Bumper Stickers - Sticker Mule

Footer

What Am I Working On?

Book, Chapter & Vows
Book, Chapter, & Vows
Phase:Week 3
100%
Get Book Updates

Featured

Finding a Memory

Finding a Memory
Buy This Book Online
Purchase with Paypal
Buy from Amazon Kindle
Buy from Amazon
Finding a Memory
Buy now!

Dial W for Wrangler

Dial W for Wrangler

Disclosure:

Disclosure: Links on this website may or may not be affiliate links and as such, I may receive compensation from the retailer indicated for linking to their product. As an Amazon Associate, I earn from qualifying purchases.

Note: I DO NOT link to products that I do not recommend.

Privacy & Cookies. This website uses cookies (not the delicious kinds that make life grand) to do stuff it needs to do. By staying on the site, you agree to this evil substitution of yummy cookies for internet calorie-free substitutes. For more info, click here and read the boring stuff. Cookie Policy
Reposted from @lisaphillipsbks Win 40+ books or a Reposted from @lisaphillipsbks Win 40+ books or a $500 Amazon card to buy a ton of books yourself in Celebrate Lit's Summer Book Lovers Giveaway.

Click here to enter: https://promosimple.com/ps/1f449/summer-book-lover-s-multi-author

The event and giveaway is going on now through August 13.

#celebratelit #summerreads #christianromanticsuspense #christianfiction #sweetromance #sweetromancereads  #lisaphillipsbook
Mom got me a storm door for my birthday. It's goi Mom got me a storm door for my birthday.  It's going up today.  Eeep!!!
#TheShediffice
Reposted from @karitrumbo Repost from @maciestjame Reposted from @karitrumbo Repost from @maciestjames
•
It's a new month, which means there's a new Bingo card in the @sweetandswoonyromance promo? Just read eight books and comment on the below post to be eligible to win a $25 gift card. All eight books are FREE!!! Go check them out.

https://www.facebook.com/sweetandswoonyromance/posts/pfbid0uoZyfQCL5qzyMDsaJWnA8zLzfE8eJ2A8uEuLee6yqMmG1g48x1RZzUBEiBVU2yK3l

#newbooks #newbook #bookstagram #22Cowboys #22Cowboysfor1 #booklove #Christmasbooks #CowboyChristmas #CowboyforChristmas #ChristmasCollection #ChristmasCowboys #CowboyKisses #CowboyLove #ChristmasLoveStory #ChristmasRelease #Christmasromance #ChristmasWishes #ChristmasWishesCowboyKisses #holidayromance #MistletoeCowboy #MustLoveCowboys #Mustread #romancereader
Reposted from @tabithabouldin Reposted from @stacy Reposted from @tabithabouldin Reposted from @stacy.t.simmons Looking to "chill out" during our hot summer?

Here's a solution reading friends!

Keeping Christmas Volumes 1 & 2, captivating Christmas Christian fiction romance novellas set in dream worthy castles.

To pre order an e-book is 99 cents. 
Prefer a paperback? It's only 19.99 with 30% off and free shipping for pre-order.

Vol 1 page: http://www.celebratelitpublishing.com/.../keeping.../

Vol 2 Page: (My novella- Christmas in the Cotswolds is in this volume). http://www.celebratelitpublishing.com/.../keeping.../

I am excited and honored to be amongst these wonderful authors, thank you, Celebrate Lit!

#StacyTSimmons #TabithaBouldin #MelissaWardwell #ChautonaHavig #JenniferSienes #CatheSwanson #SusanKBeatty #DeniseLBarela #NaomiCraig #KathleenJRobison #MargueriteMartinGray #OliviaTalbott #KeepingChristmasVolume1 #KeepingChristmasVolume2 #CelebrateLit #Booksbooksbooks #itsbeginningtolookalotlikechristmas #Christianfiction #Bookclubs #christmasiscoming #Castles #travel #Readingcommunity
Reposted from @celebratelit Celebrate Lit is now o Reposted from @celebratelit Celebrate Lit is now offering paperback preorders! Preorder any books on our preorder page to get 30% off plus free shipping! ⁠
⁠
http://www.celebratelitpublishing.com/save-up-to-30/
Reposted from @karitrumbo Repost from @carolynmill Reposted from @karitrumbo Repost from @carolynmillerauthor
•
It’s the last days to enter this #giveaway ! If you enjoy #bookish heroines and #strong #heroes then check out Rebuilding Hearts ♥️ #giveawaytime #giveawayalert https://promosimple.com/ps/1f7fa/rebuilding-hearts-celebration-tour-giveaway
When your husband gets a tooth pulled so you eat When your husband gets a tooth pulled  so you eat ice cream with him in an act of commiseration. 
@baskinrobbins 
#icecream
  • Home
  • Bookshelf
  • New & Coming
  • Blog
  • News!
  • Disclosure & Policies
  • Privacy Policy

Copyright © 2022 · Chautona Havig · All Rights Reserved · Coding by Gretchen Louise

Don't go before you grab your FREE short story collection!