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Chautona Havig

Chautona Havig

Using story to connect YOU to the Master Storyteller

Kaye Is a Fraud: Where Kaye’s Clutter Hides

by Chautona Havig · 18 Comments

Kaye Harper: de-clutterer extraordinaire and queen of less. She gives workshops on how to remove the extraneous from your life and fill it with peace, joy, and space instead.

And she’s a fraud.

Kaye is a Fraud

(note: links in this post may be affiliate links which will give me a small commission at no additional cost to you!)

Look, I don’t like to call my own character such a libelous word, but look.  Truth hurts. Her cupboards may be clean, organized, and free of stuff she never uses and doesn’t want, but that doesn’t mean she is.

What on earth am I talking about?

Mind clutter. Online clutter. Guilt clutter.  Oh, Kaye is loaded with that one. It’s stuffed in all the little places she hides so well.

And she’s not the only one.

And that’s kind of my point.  There is more than one way to clutter one’s life.  You can do it with hobbies, “friends”, social media, email, Pinterest–the list is endless. And really, these are harder to spot and harder to eradicate.  They creep in, take over, bury you in frustration, and leave you weary in mind and body.

And I blame Kaye for all of that in my life.  Because I can.  And because she can’t defend herself. Oh, and because she’s not real.

But all is not lost!

You can eliminate a lot of it without a lot of stress.  How?  One. Thing. At. A. Time.  And here’s a list of ways I’ve heard of people doing that very thing!

  • Cut out direct sales parties (some people I know only allow themselves to attend “kick off” parties when friends begin their businesses and then decline future ones. They simply contact their representative if they want more information and delete all Facebook invites after the first.  When asked, they say, “I’m sorry. I want to support you and I will–just as soon as I need something.”  I bet Kaye would do this.
  • Unfollow people on Facebook who cause stress in your life.  You don’t have to unfriend Aunt Crankypants but you can turn off notifications and unfollow her.  That way, you can make a note to stop on her wall once a week or every other week, say hi, and move along.  It’ll cut out a lot in your feed and voila!  No emotional stress!
  • Reevaluate hobbies.  Some people have a dozen hobbies. That’s GREAT as long as those aren’t creating guilt from UFOs (unfinished objects) or creating too many “SQUIRREL” moments (you know, you’re halfway done with that quilt and BAM!  You see this cute doll you want to learn to make! Maybe choose one or two to focus on for the quarter–or year.
  • Classes.  This can be related to hobbies.  It also translates to kids. Do you need six classes a month?  Does “Mom’s Night Out” refresh you or stress you?  Go every OTHER time if you don’t want to give it up but it’s too much right now!
  • Pinterest. It’s a guilt producer if you let it. So schedule your Pinterest time and stay off if it burdens more than blesses you.
  • Bible Studies. I know people BURDENED by the many (or unhelpful) studies they’re involved with.  It’s Bible so it’s important, right?

What????

Have I lost my mind?  The Bible is important!  We can’t cut out Bible Study Tuesday!  You can if it isn’t doing what it’s supposed to. If you aren’t learning, if it’s dragging you down spiritually–.  Wait.  Yes, I see the looks of incredulity through the computer screen.

And yes. I know it’s happening all over the US. Men and women, every week, attend Bible studies that actually hinder their spiritual walk. How? Well, just listen to their words and tell me how it wouldn’t? These are things I’ve heard people say about some of their Bible studies.

  1. I’m not comfortable with the book they chose, but I’ve been going for years. I don’t want to just quit because I don’t like the book.
  2. Our church has a silent but blaring expectation for attendance.
  3. No one actually reads the book.  They just sit around and gossip.
  4. I have to wake the kids up, they get cranky for missing their naps, and then our whole day is shot. I think my kids are learning to hate it.
  5. It’s so expensive. Between the books, the leader gifts, the lunches or evening coffee things–I can’t afford it, but I can’t say that I can’t afford time in God’s Word!
  6. I think it would be worth it if we actually read the Bible instead of some book that sometimes mentions it.  I’m tired of people expecting me to be excited about someone’s opinion of the Bible instead of the real thing!

And that last one?  It’s the one I hear most.

That and number 3 up there.  Tell me how those are not damaging to one’s spiritual growth?

It’s true of many things, not just Bible Studies.  Classes that started out helpful but you never progress. Library time where you end up leaving more often than not because the books chosen were too much. Instagram where you scroll for fifteen minutes before you find a post that interests you. TV shows that you started, liked, and now stick with because you’ve been with them from the beginning, but you don’t even care anymore.

Declutter this stuff from your life.  I am.  It’s my goal this week. What do you cling to that clutters your mind or life that you really don’t want, don’t need, and won’t miss?

Or, just read Confessions of a De-cluttering Junkie and work on your laundry room.

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Comments

  1. Anna says

    January 19, 2017 at 11:21 pm

    Oooh…I saw this too late and missed the sale. 🙁

    About guilt clutter and other types of negative emotional clutter, I use EFT or Emotion Code to neutralize them out of my life. The only trick is not getting discouraged that there is so much of it to get rid of, LOL!

    Blessings!

    Anna

    Reply
    • Chautona Havig says

      January 20, 2017 at 2:29 pm

      EEEP! I’ll point out to Ashley that it needs to go on sale again as soon as the sites will allow!

      Reply
      • Anna says

        January 20, 2017 at 4:04 pm

        Awe! Thanks! 🙂

        Reply
  2. Emma says

    January 15, 2017 at 12:07 am

    It is not all right to declutter the cat. Especially not the one who is peacefully sleeping on my lap right now.

    Reply
  3. Andrea Rossignol says

    January 14, 2017 at 1:29 pm

    I just finished reading my paperback copy of DCJ! And since we just moved from an ‘almost’ 3 bedroom house into a 2 bedroom apartment, I feel like I’ve done quite a bit of decluttering lately! And that horrible feeling when I realized my kids had EIGHT totes and boxes of toys – and mostly large boxes! I think I need to do some more decluttering in that area. It just hurts…

    Reply
    • Chautona Havig says

      January 14, 2017 at 6:37 pm

      I always remember Laura Ingalls packing her stuff to get married. She had clothes, a book, a glass box, a doll… there just wasn’t much.

      Reply
  4. Sarah says

    January 14, 2017 at 7:33 am

    I just want to say a big YES to the Bible Study one. My church started a Bible study for my age group (college age) a few months ago. I was excited, until it actually started. Most of it was comprised of the leader forcing his opinion on everyone and being very harsh and judgmental on everyone else. Not helpful. And we never really just studied the Bible. So after giving it a fair shot, I quit. And it was so freeing! Sometimes things can sound good in theory but when they come to real life, it doesn’t work out. And if you can let it go without feeling guilty, you’re so much better off. I already do a lot of prayer and devotion time on my own, so it’s not like I don’t have time with God. I’d love to find a good Bible Study sometime, but until that happens I know I’m where I need to be.

    Reply
    • Chautona Havig says

      January 14, 2017 at 12:52 pm

      When the emphasis is removed from the Lord and His Word and put on anything else, it ceases to be a Bible Study. f you want a fellowship group, join one. But don’t feel guilt for removing yourself from an unhelpful Bible Study. Well done!

      Reply
  5. Lucinda Culprit says

    January 14, 2017 at 5:54 am

    Somehow you were reading my heart….my mind, yesterday and this morning….how do you DO that? After four painful and guilt filled years I just dropped it all at the feet of my Father. While what I did was technically and Scripturally correct, (“Honor your parents”) the end result was an unrepairable relationship with a sibling. So I should just go fix it, right? Well, I tried and failed. More than once. Try again? Impossible. A year after the break, my sibling was diagnosed with cancer and less than a year later, died. During this time I was in constant contact with my sibling and their spouse. One sided on the part of my sibling, but my love and concern was conveyed in multiple ways, and my inlaw was grateful for the support. So, you see, too late. This morning, in fact about the time you posted this, Chautona, my husband and I were holding hands and praying for forgiveness and that God would remove this burden from me. That He would restore my joy. Then I get up, grab my breakfast and turn to your blog post. Is it any wonder that I’m in tears? Thank you SO MUCH for this…it blesses me more than even this too lengthy response can convey.

    Reply
    • Chautona Havig says

      January 14, 2017 at 12:55 pm

      I’m praying that you’ll allow the guilt (that isn’t yours anyway) to go and rejoice that the Lord covered it all. He’s got this. We don’t have to.

      Reply
      • Lucinda Culp says

        January 14, 2017 at 2:43 pm

        Yes, yes He does. While I don’t have a lightness of spirit, neither do I have the heaviness of guilt. What I do have is a sense of calmness, and perhaps clarity….along with resolve to remember the lessons learned and implement them with our children. If the choice is between being right, and doing right, do right. If the choice is between being right, and love….choose love. Choose love even when those around you do not.

        Reply
  6. Kristy says

    January 14, 2017 at 5:48 am

    Guilt clutter…yes!!! How do you deal with this one??? I have crafter’s guilt due to all the things piled I want to make but don’t have time to if I keep my priorities straight. My goal this YEAR is to not buy any more supplies til I use what I have!

    And when I got to the bit about Bible study my head was nodding so hard I looked like a bobble-head! Bible study should be beneficial. If it’s not it needs to go.

    Reply
    • Chautona Havig says

      January 14, 2017 at 1:03 pm

      You know what? Let it go. Enjoy your crafts, no guilt. Sometimes we get excited about something and then our priorities change. Maybe the real guilt we should feel is for trying to stick to things we don’t want and the time we’d waste making THOSE instead of the materials we could donate to someone who can’t afford them but love them.

      Reply
  7. FloCAT (my online name. :-) ) says

    January 14, 2017 at 5:33 am

    Yup about the Bible studies. And the online time. ….. But NO about the cat. 🙂

    Reply
    • Chautona Havig says

      January 14, 2017 at 12:59 pm

      I knew you’d never let me get away with that. Grr… 😉

      Reply
      • Lucinda Culp says

        January 14, 2017 at 2:45 pm

        bleach can come live with me….he might enjoy life on the farm! Winter, probably not so much….

        Reply
        • Chautona Havig says

          January 14, 2017 at 6:33 pm

          We should try it at least. Ooh… bleeeeaaaach…

          Reply
          • Lucinda Culp says

            January 14, 2017 at 7:49 pm

            Yay! I miss having a kitty

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The Because Fiction Podcast

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Episode 162: A Chat with Author, Nancy Naigle
byChautona Havig

Hey, we’re back after a couple of weeks of vacation, and boy did I need it. And, have I got a fabulous interview for you. Nancy Naigle and I talked about her books, her most recent release, What Remains True as well as her Christmas books and the one I’m most anxious to read, The Shell Collector. Listen in and learn about what Nancy says about this bet she has going on in What Remains True. Great stuff!

Note: links may be affiliate links that provide me with a small commission at no extra expense to you.

Need a Great Romantic Read to Wind Up Your Summer Reads?

As I said in the podcast, a while back, someone told me I’d LOVE The Shell Collector–one of those people who recommends books you HAVE to read if they say you do.  So I bought it and it’s been sitting on my shelf ever since. Well, now it’s on my GoodReads shelf, and I’m about to start it (and I optimistically thought I’d be done with it by the time this episode released. Oh, me of too much faith in myself and my time management!)

Author of over thirty books, not to mention a bestselling author who also has movies made of her novels (And The Shell Collector has been optioned! EEEP!), Nancy loves to write Christmas books and small-town stories. Seriously, as we talked, I felt like she was talking about me half the time. We’re so very alike in so many ways. It was fun.

Nancy also pointed out that her first books (if you go WAY back) are not Christian fiction and are a bit spicier than she prefers to write and definitely more than she writes today. So be warned there, but she did assure us that they are all closed-door books.

What Remains True by Nancy Naigle

One woman wants to win a bet. One man wants to become a rodeo champion. One little girl may give them both something even better—from USA Today bestselling author Nancy Naigle.

“A commitment-phobic rodeo star and a divorcée with secrets find love in this wholesome romance. . . . As uplifting as it is sweet.”—Publishers Weekly

Working at a little shop on Main Street in a small town is exactly the break that executive Merry Anna Foster needs following her divorce. She’s made a bet with her ex-husband that she can live on the amount of money she’s giving him in alimony. If she can do it, then Kevin will have to stop complaining and leave her alone. But after three months of this new life, will she even want to leave Antler Creek?

Adam Locklear, bull rider and owner of the local feedstore, is having the best year of his rodeo career. He’s also a bit distracted by the pretty new neighbor living in his old bunkhouse. But Adam has no time for matters of the heart. He’s got his future all mapped out, and that future doesn’t involve a woman just yet. It doesn’t involve parenting a little girl either. However, Carly Fowler still suddenly leaves five-year-old Zan—the daughter Adam didn’t know he had—in his care.

Is it possible that the future holds a life even better than what Merry Anna and Adam had each dreamed of? One that includes both tenderness and even love—not just for each other but for Zan too?

You can learn more about Nancy’s books and movies on her WEBSITE.

Oh, and PSST… I’m loving the audiobook of this one!

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